When My Wife and I first moved into our house we found that the previous owners has abandoned a few things up in the attic. Among these few things were big wooden Christmas cutouts that are made to stand out in the front yard, some similar wooden Halloween ones, and a bag of sex toys.
Yes, up in the steaming hot attic, we found a bag of used sex toys. Among the sex toys was a strap-on. Yes, a big plastic dick that you strap on to your waist so you can ram all the livelong day without running out of, er, rigidity.
I have no idea why that had a strap-on. I wasn't going to call them and ask. But I did manage to enjoy getting rid of them, as sex toys aren't like dishes, you know, you don't just wash and reuse other people's old discarded sex toys.
They were in a big paper sack, so I just took the sack to the curb and left it there, along with the rest of the trash. As it happened I was working in the garage when the trashmen came by.
I watched as they went over to the trash and began loading it up.
I watched as they looked into the sack as they were grasping it by the little handles.
I watched as they looked twice into the sack and then up the driveway at me, who was by now smiling a big old "hey there, big boy" smile.
They looked back into the sack again and then began discussing it with one another.
Eventually they threw it into the truck and drove on.
To this day the trashmen have never made eye contact with me again.
Buying your first house: $$$$
Finding used old sex toys in a sack in the attic: FREE
Watching the reaction of the trashmen as they discover the sack of sex toys: Priceless!
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