Things Said At the Gym

I'm sorry that your cellphone has made you incapable of communicating in any way except text messaging. That must be rough.

Is this your underwear or mine?

There are too many naked people in here at one time.

I think he's dead. See if you can push him off the machine so we can use it.

No, I always drop steel plates on my feet as part of my workout. It's no big deal.

I'm not sure if those are her shorts or if she's maybe eating a small hand towel with her ass.


Who crashed into the window? It almost looks like its covered in ice or something. Cool!

If that girl's waist were any smaller I swear I could reach out and pick her up with one hand. Of course, I'd probably go to jail.

Yes, please throw that enormous dumbbell over to me. No, really, I want you to.

No, you're not crowding me. I like having sweaty ass in my face while I work out. It's just that I usually prefer it be female.

That class is more crowded than a gay orgy after a Madonna concert.

Generally I try to avoid crushing my nuts while I'm exercising. It's just not good for my form.

I wouldn't put your hand there if I were you.

No, there's nothing in my pocket. Why?

If you could wipe up your sweaty ass-juice when you're done that would be awesome.

I don't have abs.

How does having 5 toes on each shoe benefit you in the slightest? Don't you have to buy 5 toed socks to go with those?

You realize she can see you checking out her vagina while she's on that machine, right?

I'm sure she doesn't think you're creepy. She probably doesn't think about you at all.

I like to avoid dropping the weights on my throat when I bench press, but that's just me. I'm not telling you what to do or anything.

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