I Had A Neighbor

I had a neighbor, when I first moved in I saw her, she had beautiful blonde hair and the body of a stripper. She would always be out in her front yard mowing the grass. The yard was always perfect. Her son would be riding his bicycle around the driveway while she worked.

She had a fire engine red Dodge Ram pickup truck that she drove every day. She had a two car garage and parked it dead in the center because it was, apparently, just her and her son living there.

One day I noticed she had chopped her hair all off. It was super short and I hated it. But she still mowed her yard in a tiny tank top and shorts with that body of hers.

One day we noticed the yard wasn't taken care of. Later we saw a neighbor boy mowing it. Where was the lady? Her truck was still in the garage, but she was nowhere to be seen.

The next time I saw her she was pulling her fire engine red pickup into her garage. It had a pink breast cancer ribbon on the back tailgate.

After that I saw her being driven home by someone else. She was riding in the passenger seat and didn't look good. She went inside and didn't come out for days.

That Halloween she and a man and her son came to our door all dressed in costumes. She held out her sack and gave a big smile and said, "trick or treat!" I thought it odd that a woman apparently in her 30s was trick-or-treating, but when I realized who she was I gave her all she wanted. I had never actually met her face-to-face before. She had a pretty smile.

For at least 2 years I kept an eye out for her, just to see how things were going and if she seemed to be getting better.

The last time I saw her she was riding away in her friend's car. She was crying huge tears and looked to be in a lot of pain.

Today there is a car in her driveway, but it isn't hers. There is a sign on her door. She's not there.

I had a neighbor. And now she's gone.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/i-had-neighbor.html. Thanks!

Eccentric English, Goofy Germans, and a Van

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/eccentric-english-goofy-germans-and-van.html. Thanks!

Stuff Portrait Friday

Today's assignment from Kristine over at Random and Odd is
to show my toys, my eyes, and my secret...

I have no idea what I'm going to put for my secret, but I seem to have photos ready for the rest, sort of. So let's see how this goes ...



I had always wanted a 1970 Chevelle SS 454 since high school. But by the time I was old enough to drive they were already way too expensive even though they were about 20 years old. So I forgot about that dream. Years later I was visiting friends in my hometown when a friend mentioned knowing a guy who had one and was planning to sell it. The guy was surprised when I came to his door. He said he didn't know my friend, but that he was indeed planning to sell it. He just hadn't advertised it yet and wanted to know how the heck I knew about his plans to sell. He also had a very rich friend who wanted it, but was simply going to carve it up and make a race car out of it. The owner didn't much like that and didn't want to sell it to him. So he was glad to see me come along. I got a good deal.



OK, so it's just the one eye. I couldn't find the original photo that this cropped picture came from and I don't feel like searching every computer I own just to see if maybe I can find it. Also, I'm REALLY tired right now so if I tried to retake this photo I'd look like a psycho with red bloodshot peepers. So, if you want you can open this photo in a photo editor, copy it to another file and flip it. Then attach the two and WAH LA! There is my other eye, too!



Yeah, it's my secret, so if you don't know what this is then don't worry too much about it. And if it looks familiar then maybe you know why it's my secret.

Did you play??

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/stuff-portrait-friday.html. Thanks!

8 Traits of My Perfect Mate

I was tagged by LizzieDaisy. Woohoo! So here ya go, the perfect mate (I absolutely hate the term 'partner' unless it's a business arrangement.)

The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/mate, mentioning the sex of said mate.


1. Athletic
2. Intelligent
3. Caring (no sociopaths need apply)
4. Patient, slow to anger (no psychopaths either)
5. Trusting, not prone to jealousy
6. Honest
7. Faithful (unfortunately this rules out Angelina Jolie)
8. Hot Babe (oh come on, I'm a guy. I have to put this in here.)

And being in love with me is a big plus, too.

I'm Tagging...
Stacy the Peanut Queen
Brighton, who fits so many of these qualities herself
Binsk, the woman I'd marry if I weren't already married
Avery the Australian Dream Woman
Steph the Attention Whore and my future doctor
Samantha Sampson Jackson
Suzanne D.M.
Stephanie D
Kev the Zebraman
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/8-traits-of-my-perfect-mate.html. Thanks!

Unflushable Friday


I had thought I was all done being poopy this week. But I was wrong. Apparently I'm still not well. I was about 1/4 of the way to work this morning when it hit me. I needed to poop RIGHT NOW. So I drove to work as fast as my little 4-cylinders and the other people in traffic could go. I came in the door and exploded into the bathroom.

Have you ever noticed that those paper seat covers always give you problems when you have the least amount of time to spare? I sure as hell did.

I pooped enough for 5 men or 3 women. No, only kidding. I have no idea how much poop women make compared to men.

Hey, here's a good advertising slogan, since Secret is no longer using it for some really stupid reason: Charmin - strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!

So anyway, I shit my brains out. Yes, I did. And it was messy. And I don't feel good. And it took a lot of toilet paper to take care of business after. You want to know how much TP it took? Go look in the toilet and you'll see 'cause it's all still there.

Yeah, I tried to flush it down. But it wasn't going. No sirree Bob! That toilet is clogged tighter than Ginger Lynn's vagina in a porn film with John Holmes. Yeah buddy!

So anyway, now I feel sick. My attractive fantasy art looking female coworker is home sick today. I guess I should be, too. I may yet have to leave. We'll see how it goes.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/unflushable-friday.html. Thanks!

Half Nekkid Thursday - Off the Pot

HNT - this isn't my ass
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/half-nekkid-thursday-off-pot.html. Thanks!

The Chillens of DC Play Rough

Al Sharptons babies

WASHINGTON (Parody) - Maryland prosecutors have filed meaningless charges against an 8-year-old boy who shot and wounded a 7-year-old girl after threatening to rob her at a suburban day-care center, The Washington Post said on Wednesday.

"Clearly our highly progressive self-esteem nurturing atmosphere needs a little tweaking," day care worker Tamika Shamira Felishea Gonzolez was quoting as remarking of the shooting.

The boy's father, "a felon with a lengthy record," was arrested and charged with leaving a firearm within reach of an unsupervised minor, an odd and potentially unconstitutional charge, and other randomly made-up offenses after the Tuesday shooting, the Post said.

"Clearly this man could not possibly have even owned this gun," the Reverend Jesse James Jackson said. "Because as we all know the entire D.C. area has the strictest gun control laws in the country and this man, a convicted felon, is prohibited by law from obtaining a firearm anywhere in the continental U.S. The Man must have planted it as part of a larger conspiracy. They probably told the boy to do it and gave him the gun."

The third-grader allegedly sneaked his alleged father's .38-caliber revolver into the facility in his backpack on Tuesday, the paper said, quoting the same D.C. law-enforcement officials who insisted the D.C. sniper was definitely a white male. He had been suspended in the past for bringing various weapons to school, including a switchblade, an AK47, an RPG anti-tank rocket launcher, and a Bible.

Police had initially lied and said the boy accidentally shot the girl, a second-grade student, as a group of six children were attending a before-school bong celebration at the For Kids We Care day-care center in Germantown, Maryland, a Washington suburb.

But the Post said, "The sources said the boy threatened to rob the girl and then shot her ass when she didn't cough up the green."

The girl was reported in stable condition with a bullet wound in her arm in a Washington hospital on Tuesday night, the paper said.

The boy "was charged as a deranged juvenile son-of-a-bitch with numerous counts that police declined to outline," it said, "because they are still looking into the possibility that maybe a mysterious white male in his 30s could have been the actual shooter." The future FBI's 10 Most Wanted little all-star was placed in the custody of the Maryland Department of Juvenile Services who said of him, "he's the meanest little fucker we've ever seen."
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/the-chillens-of-dc-play-rough.html. Thanks!

Home Sick Today


I'm home from work today. I'm not feeling like myself. I called into work and told them I was sick, but because there was a system problem I've had to work remotely anyway. I'm all poopie today. Actually I was pretty poopie yesterday, too. I pooped 4 times in a row yesterday, in case you were dying to know that. I have a new boss and he was up from the deep dark jungles of Peru to visit us for the first time. It was important that I be there, so despite my poopiness I had to go in. Not so today, though, so here I sit at home. I keep bumping into things and dropping things, too. So not driving into work was probably a good thing.

I just woke from a dream in which we owned a 1940s Chevy and were driving it to the "rainbow bridge" park in downtown Memphis for some old car show or something. I don't even know if such a place actually exists, but it sounds like something Memphis would have, doesn't it? Yes, it does. Anyway, when I'm not sick I always dream that I'm either driving my old high school car, a 1971 Chevy Monte Carlo, or the car I just sold, a 1969 Buick Wildcat. The fact that we were riding in a really cool old car that I have never even owned reassures me that all is not well in the mind of Memphis, or in this case, the ass which is connected to the mind through all the electrolytes I seem to be spewing out the bottom end.

I had meant to do a post on Ophelia Ford, but I keep forgetting. I've posted several times about crazy Tamara Mitchell Ford and her ex-husband John Ford, but now sister Ophelia is in the news. She was in the news a year or so ago complaining that her family, the Memphis version of the Kennedys, won't GIVE her a seat in our state government because, you know, they can do that with all their connections and files filled with dead people still registered to vote. She said "it's because I'm a woman" that they won't give her the seat in our state senate. Anyway, they finally gave it to her and now there's an investigation. Bad timing, Ophelia, what with the FBI having already arrested brother John for his crooked activities. Had you not been such a narcissistic psycho Ford bitch ho you might've thought of that and tried to run legitimately at the very least. But you didn't. Now you're in court. Claiming "it's 'cause I'm black." How sad. How predictable. How Memphis.

OK, so I'm at home. The cats are happy about that. I'm rather indifferent. I slept a lot. I dreamed weird dreams. One of my dreams ended with Tim Robbins at a police station talking about a kid who allegedly killed some man and as he was talking their CSI was testing a monkey wrench. Somehow I knew that the wrench had his prints and DNA on it and he was about to be arrested for the murder himself. Perhaps it was because this was my dream and thus my brain determined everything that was going to happen? Probably so, but TV isn't any better most of the time. So predictable.

OK, so I need to eat something and then probably poop it back out again. Maybe I'll update this later?

One last thing, probably only of interest to me, but I finally got that damned glass splinter out of my finger. It's been stabbing me down to the bone for a week but it was so small that I couldn't even see it through a magnifying glass. I got it out today after lunch. Good thing I stayed home sick or I might still have it in me. Pooya!
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/home-sick-today.html. Thanks!

Blonde's Year In Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!!
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/blonde-year-in-review.html. Thanks!

Random Blathering on a Monday Morning

kids shot for dad

It's Monday morning and I'm dragging like a dead squirrel tied behind a child's bicycle. I have to poo real bad, but I have to blog first because, you know, I just have to.

Also, I need coffee.

A long time ago I bored the shit out of you all with my financial analysis and advice. So I'll update that since there's a major spaz attack occurring in the market this morning.

OK, I bought Google awhile back. I set STOP orders behind it in case it should dive like Nemo's Father and take all my money down with it. Google swings wildly, like a Chicago Cub after a night of wild partying. So several times I've sold Google simply because it dove and hit my STOP order. Each time I've made money, but then turned around and bought the stock again. Yeeha. OK, so last week it dove 22 points in one day. My STOP order had expired so I put in another one. Hey, if it falls another 20 points tomorrow I want off. Yeah, well it did. So I sold. Yeah, I still made a good profit, but now I'm out.

This morning I was expecting a typical Google bounce. Google has fallen from 475 to 399 in about one week's time and it's all piss and Paris Hilton exclusives, so you know it's gonna bounce upward again today.

I put in an order to rebuy the same number of shares as I sold last week to take advantage. This morning I thought better of it. Google is expected to release an earnings report very soon. If it misses earnings all the gains of today's Harlem Globetrotter bounceback will be lost and then some. Expectations for Google are phenomenally high. I was wrong last time when I didn't think they could meet the experts expectations, and the result was that I missed out on a 37 point leap in the upward direction for Google's stock price. Even so, I made twice that back when I got back in again afterward.

Today before the market opened I put in a buy order to get in on the bounce that I knew would occur. Then I sat and watched as people were able to buy seemingly before the market opened, which I don't know the reason for. The price went well up and my buy order was still sitting there. I thought about the coming earnings report and the fact that whatever happens today is pure emotion and Wal*Mart post-Thanksgiving Day thinking and I decided to pull my order. Alright?

OK, so I didn't buy this morning. Google is up 10 more points beyond the price it appeared I was going to end up paying. It seems to have settled there for the past half hour, but that doesn't mean much. It could go up another 20 points before today is over. Anyway, I'm watching and debating, constantly second-guessing my initial thought that I should rebuy first thing this morning.

Other things that are on my mind: work called me this weekend. It was not my weekend to watch the damned applications, but there was a problem. I looked at it and can't explain why it's doing what it's doing. It seems to be pulling the date out of its' ass, which is a problem with financial reports for a bank. We care what day it is. Yes, it really does matter. So I'll be working on this all day until I figure it out.

Meanwhile, I still need to poop.

Also, I've been poking around on various blogs in my blogroll and noticing I have several people whom I like, but who have long ago lost interest in me and my blog. I need to drop them from my blogroll. They don't visit anymore and they never blogrolled me anyway. I don't think they'll cry or anything. The only reason I haven't dropped them is because I don't want to lose the link. Sometimes they make me laugh. But I've got more than I can keep up with, which is something I'm prone to do with most everything.

OK, this coffee is just plain weak.

I had sex last night and I'm glad! What did YOU do last night, eh? Yeah, that's what I thought. POOYA!

How much junk mail can one house receive in a single day? I think I'm setting some kind of record. These motherfuckers seem to think they can force me to buy a larger mailbox by overfilling the one I've got. Yeah, well think again. I don't know where you got my name, but I'm not giving you any money. I do believe I've written to you several times asking where you stood on some issues that obviously must mean something to me and you've ignored me. Now you want my money? I should charge you rent for the space you take up in my mailbox and then in my house when I bring the mail in. I enjoy putting your letters in the shredder though. I don't really need to shred them, but it's fun.

So, I still haven't pooped and I still haven't figured out what is screwing up the date on my system and I still haven't bought in on the Google bounce, but my farts are starting to offend and this coffee is still not having the slightest effect. I've got a rumbling in my intestines like Oprah's belly at a Hershey factory. This won't wait much longer.

A friend in Australia has a crisis. Some close friends found her blog, so I've had to change her in the blogroll to her new blog address and new name. You'll find her as Jack Daniels in Perth. I'm not going to say what her real name, or nickname, was, because she said her friends found her by doing a search using that. I understand and it's not a problem to make the change.

Also, Elisabeth in Hotlanta closed her blog. She said she was getting some perverted messages and didn't like it. She's happily dating someone right now and not in the mood for that. I dropped her blog link since it was closed anyway, but her sister's is still there.

Gotta poo.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/random-blathering-on-monday-morning.html. Thanks!

I Remember #4

I can remember people calling me and saying, "Dude, guess where I'm calling you from" and they were just in their car.

I can remember when the Mazda RX7 was the COOLEST CAR IN THE WORLD!

I remember when Members Only jackets were new.

I remember when Mtv was brand new and played music videos.

I remember the IROC Camaro.

I remember the Mustang SVO with turbo.

I remember my goofy brother-in-law driving a Chrysler LeBaron convertible with a turbo, which he thought was SO COOL and I thought was SO GAY.

I remember everyone wearing polo shirts with the collar up and blue jeans. Now they're doing it again, as if for the first time.

I remember when everyone got the same haircut, "wings, feathered back."

I remember when Robin Williams was just Mork from Mork and Mindy.

I remember when Nicolas Cage was just some guy in that great move, "Valley Girl" and it was the girl that we thought was going to be a big star.

I remember Molly Ringwald, whom I never thought was pretty, but Hollywood predicted was the new big sex symbol.

I remember Tom Cruise sliding across the floor in his socks and we had no idea who the hell he was.

I remember Farrah Fawcett as "Jill" and Lee Majors as "Steve Austin."

I remember the AMC Gremlin and Pacer.

I remember TV commercials for the Triump TR7, which they said was "the shape of things to come." Somehow this great design has morphed into the Ford Taurus, a car that looks more like a dung beetle than a car.

I remember Suzie Chapstick.

I remember when Bugs Bunny and Friends was on every Saturday morning for an hour and a half. After that there was absolutely nothing on TV.

I remember when the Tampa Bay Bucs wore orange and white and went 1-14 for the season.

I remember the Baltimore Colts, the Oakland Raiders, the Los Angeles Rams, and the Houston Oilers.

I remember Mean Joe Green, Roger Staubach, Terry Bradshaw, and "Snake" in Oakland.

I remember Ray Guy hitting the ceiling in the Astrodome with one of his incredible punts.

I remember when John Madden was coaching.

I remember Tom Landry.

I remember Bear Bryant.

I remember the Iran Hostage Crisis and Jimmy Carter mysteriously confessing to having impure thoughts.

I remember when American cars and trucks were the best in the world and were made of steel and more steel.

I remember my dad's old 1951 Harley, which shook the entire neighborhood when he started it up every Saturday morning at 5 a.m. to go riding all day long.

I remember when every kid in the neighborhood was confused by the "new" peace sign, which is also known as Nero's Cross and came from the West Coast. It was wrong. Everyone knew the real peace sign looked just like the Mercedes symbol.

I remember when girls wanted to learn to play the flute because that was cool.

I remember hula hoops.

I remember klackers.

I remember the Hoppity Hop.

I remember when roller skates had 4 wheels and everybody wore clothes that were shiny and too tight.

I remember Disco Duck.

I remember when Disco finally faded away, and I was glad.

I remember Abba.

I remember Solid Gold.

I remember the Gong Show.

I remember when Volkswagen Bugs and Mustangs were everywhere you looked.

I remember when the people at Ford were clearly on drugs, as every single car they produced was the ugliest thing anyone had ever seen.

I remember when Chrysler went bankrupt, as GM is about to do.

I remember Jimmy Carter's Chrysler tanks which couldn't be run in the desert because they couldn't handle the dust in their air filters.

I remember when having a van was cool and everyone had big murals airbrushed on the outside and glittery shit and shag carpet on the inside.

I remember when almost no one wanted to drive a truck.

I remember when trains had cabooses.

I remember CHiPs, the California cops who had no guns.

I remember Farrah Fawcett chasing down men in a car by riding a skateboard, and even as young as I was I thought that was just the gayest thing in the world.

I remember when heroes on TV would show their karate skills by chopping with a straight hand and shouting "Ya!"

I remember what a lousy martial artist David Carradine was while starring in the show Kung Fu.

I remember Speed Buggy.

I remember Speed Racer.

I remember a new show that come on after Sesame Street called The Electric Company and how excited we were because that show had Spiderman on it.

I remember when the sink in the bathroom seemed so high above my head.

I remember when the rim of the toilet came to my chest and my dad caught me floating my Fisher Price tugboat in there one day.

I remember when girls slapped boys in the face and boys fought with their fists.

I remember when John Lennon was shot.

I vaguely remember when Elvis died.

I remember when we were still in Vietnam and I thought the entire world was just always at war because that's how it seemed on the TV.

I remember thinking I was going to be drafted when we first invaded Iraq over Kuwait.

I remember Chevy Chase, Jane Curtain, John Belushi and Dan Akroyd on Saturday Night Live.

I remember when The Exorcist was first out and my older brother and sisters were scared shitless by it, but I wasn't allowed to watch because I was too young.

I remember my sisters laughing at my older brother for leaping out of his seat when the man's head came rolling out of the boat in the movie Jaws, which they saw in the theater.

I remember when the Soviet Union was the world's biggest threat, and occupied half the East and a good portion of the West, all while calling the U.S. imperialist oppressors.

I remember when My Dad's hair wasn't white.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/i-remember-4.html. Thanks!

Half Nekkid Thursday - Knees

My Half Nekkid Thursday picture, such as it is, is over here.

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/half-nekkid-thursday-knees.html. Thanks!

New Orleans Mayor Envisions Blacks Only Dream City

NEW ORLEANS (Parodied) - The black racist mayor of New Orleans almost apologized Tuesday for saying the hurricane-ravaged city would be rebuilt as a "chocolate" city and for blaming the storm on the wrath of God over U.S. involvement in Iraq and for airing evil TV shows such as "Cops."

The racist "chocolate" remark, which Mayor Ray Nagin made in a speech Monday, struck a nerve, as racial tensions and concerns loom over proposed plans to rebuild New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina using illegal ivory from Kenya, gold taken from white settlers murdered in South Africa and Zimbabwe, and marble from slave pits in Syria.

Several of the hardest-hit neighborhoods were mostly black, and many residents have expressed fears that those areas will not be rebuilt because they don't have the money to rebuild them while those with more white residents may be because the whites who live there had paid for insurance. Before the August 29 storm, New Orleans was about 70 percent black and about 90 percent drunk and topless.

"If I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize," the mayor, who is black and apparently openly racist, said Tuesday. "I need to be more sensitive and more aware of what I'm saying."

In other words, 'Oops, did I say that out loud?'

"I want everybody to be welcome in New Orleans -- black, Hispanic, or Purto Rican -- because that's the kind of city that we deserve going forward," he said, expressing his deep faith in entitlement. "I was trying to, and didn't do it very well, to deal with this whole notion, the undercurrent what's being talked about, and what's being talked about is who is going to come back to New Orleans at the end of the day. Because basicially, I want whitey to pay the bills, but I don't want him living in my neighborhood."

In his speech Monday, mocking the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, Nagin said: "This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be. .... This city will be chocolate at the end of the day."

Exactly how Nagin knows God wants an all-black, below sea-level, poorly led, high crime, Pagan and voodoo worshipping city has been difficult to determine, as he has been unwilling to explain further.

Other black leaders in New Orleans said they were taken aback by Nagin's idiotic, racist, delusional remarks.

"Everybody's jaws are dropping right now," City Councilman Oliver Thomas told The Times-Picayune newspaper. "Even if we all believe that racist stuff, that is not the type of image we need to openly admit to the nation."

In his speech, Nagin also said a wrathful God sent the hurricanes.

"Surely God is mad at America," he said. "Surely he's not approving of us being in Iraq fighting against people who behead Christians and Jews, rape women and children, and blow up 3000 people as an expression of their fanatical hatred. But surely he's upset at black America also. We're not taking care of ourselves, brushing our teeth, flossing, eating too many carbs. It's really just whitey's fault, mostly."

In his pseudo-apology, Nagin said: "I said some things out loud that were totally inappropriate. I shouldn't have made any references to God as it relates to this city because now I sound as crazy as the mayor of Memphis. In the moment I got caught up in my hatred of the white man, and it shouldn't have happened in front of reporters."

Nagin also said he has made the "chocolate" reference several times before, including before Congress. But because Congress is infamously castrated and servile to black racists as well as female supremacists no one there ever called him on his bigotry. This is perhaps the first and only time anyone has pointed out that Nagin is a racist. He has indicated that he is sorry he said it out loud where it was reported to the very people that he expects to pay for the damage to his city.

"Usually the press covers my ass. I guess this time somebody slipped up," Nagin lamented.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/new-orleans-mayor-envisions-blacks-only.html. Thanks!

Went To The Gym

Julie Lohre

Damn New Year's Resolution people! They're all over the gym, climbing on the treadmills, spreading weights around the floor, turning the fucking TV sets to Oprah, kicking the exercise balls around like big, heavy beach balls, and hogging more space than they have a right to.

What is up with the tall, skinny black guy acting like he owns the fucking place when he just got here and obviously, OH SO OBVIOUSLY, has no clue what the hell he's doing?! First this dumbass was in the locker room in front of the sinks all spread out and taking up all the space.

"Excuse me, I need to use one of the many sinks you seem to be blocking, but not using. Do you mind?" Dumbass ignored me. "Excuse me. Hey, dumbass!" No response. He is apparently retarded. I did what I had to do and left MC Hammer all spread out all over the floor in the bathroom like a bathmat. Perhaps that will be the last I see of this moron, seeing as he appears to be stretching and therefore must be done working out?

But nooooooooooooo!

Mr Hammer seemed to follow me all over the gym, spreading his skinny black ass as wide as possible to make sure everyone knew his very unimportant self was there while he stood in everyone's way and piddled with all the weights. I took the ones I needed, all the ones I wanted, and carried them to my bench. He tried as best he could to crowd me, so I just kept on lifting. If I hit him with my weights I am not going to worry about it. Get the fuck off me, you stupid moron who will probably never come to the gym again after today because you're just so much bluff and absolutely no stuff.

Young hot girls, young hot mothers, not-so-hot women of various ages, various teenage boys and middle-aged men, and some really, really fat kids were everywhere. The normally almost empty row of treadmills was full. Everyone's favorite ab machine was constantly in use by hot girls whom I will miss when they don't come back. I did a new workout, an improvised as I go workout, using whatever equipment was available. I'm glad so few people like working their abs on the exercise balls and that there are so many of them. Even with the kids playing soccer I was always able to get one, even if it was a different sized one each time. Hey, I can mark that down as muscle confusion, right?

I worked out as long as I could before I started to get that "gonna puke or pass out" feeling. That meant it was time to hit the treadmill. I had already observed that Oprah was on one of the TV sets, so I made a desperate attempt to get a treadmill as far from that TV as possible. I got lucky. I got one right in front of the Venus Williams/Tszvetana Pironkova Australian Open tennis match. Ah, this is more like it. No Oprah whiney assed "bitch/ho" cry me a river shit. Just two athletic women sweating and chasing a little yellow ball around a court for hours. The only time an athlete whines is when they're frustrated with their own performance. Or the refs suck. But in this match apparently they were only frustrated with themselves close to the end. And who could blame them? They were playing it right down to the wire and they were both really tired. And wet. Really wet. Their clothes were sticking to their bodies like a wet T-shirt contest. And there I was running that treadmill like if I just ran fast enough I might catch one of them. 5 miles I ran after those girls. Never did catch anyone, but I got a good workout.

Some poor guy named Charles Casey or something pulled his stuff out of his locker, but dropped his wallet. I picked it up and looked at his driver's license. He was nowhere in sight, so I took it to the front desk.

Yeah, yeah, I know I could have kept it. But how annoying is it to lose your wallet and license and all that and have someone just pick it up and keep it? Anyway, the girl at the front desk, who was pretty cute I might add for no reason at all, said she knew who he was and where he was. She said he had just gone into the basketball courts and was playing. She promised to give it to him.

When I left it had started to rain. That was fine seeing as I was as soaked with sweat as both Venus and Tszvetana combined by the time I left. A little rain wasn't going to hurt me. It might even make me stink less.

The windows all fogged up as soon as I got in the truck. The wipers were complaining that it wasn't raining quite hard enough. They were going "EEEEK EEEEK EEEEK" the way they do. When I got home I backed my truck into the driveway, cursing myself as I got it crooked twice in a row.

I swear I was a better driver back in high school than I am now. Then again, I've been really clumsy all day long. I think I may have an ear infection.

All that pumping iron and running and when I went to shower and looked in the mirror what did I see? A buff pumped up muscle man? No, I looked as shitty as ever. What is it all for?

fat boxer twins
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/went-to-gym.html. Thanks!

Ghetto Tooth Fairy

ghetto tooth fairy

Happy MLK Day!

I ain't even goin' to work today

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/ghetto-tooth-fairy.html. Thanks!

Oh My God

Everyone I know is lonely
And God's so far away
And my heart belongs to no one,
So now sometimes I pray
Please take the space between us
And fill it up some way
Take the space between us
And fill it up some way

O my God you take the biscuit
Treating me this way
Expecting me to treat you well
No matter what you say
How can I turn the other cheek
It's black and bruised and torn
I've been waiting
Since the day that I was born

Take the space between us
And fill it up some way
Take the space between us
And fill it up some way

The fat man in his garden
The thin man at his gate
My God you must be sleeping
Wake up it's much too late

Take the space between us
And fill it up some way
Take the space between us
And fill it up some way

Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days
Since we first met?
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet

- Sting
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/oh-my-god.html. Thanks!

Paris Hilton Catfight - With Only One Cat


Paris Hilton accused of lying under oath in slander case
Allegedly By Lisa Sweetingham, Court TV
Tweaked for Parody By Memphis Steve, Blog

(Court TV) — "Always tell everyone what they want to hear. Then do what you want," is the advice Paris Hilton offers wannabe heiresses in the first chapter of her best-selling book, "Confessions of an Heiress," which comes highly recommended by such notable New Yorkers as Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, and Paula Poundstone.

But does the ubiquitous party girl follow her own advice — even while under oath?

Hilton, who was hit with a $10 million slander and libel suit by actress Zeta Graff this summer, is now accused of repeatedly perjuring herself during a Nov. 9 civil deposition in that case.

"The evidence has shown that, in an obvious attempt to mask her own liability and reduce her overall exposure in this case, Hilton lied under oath at her deposition time and time again," according to new court documents filed Tuesday by attorneys for Graff.

The new perjury accusations stem from Hilton's denial that she planted false stories about Graff in the press, which is the basis for Graff's multimillion dollar "you fucking bitch" suit.

Hilton, like a true New Yorker, blames her former publicist, Rob Shuter, for placing the story, according to court documents.

But Shuter recently confirmed Graff's accusations, based on excerpts from his deposition in which he describes how Hilton phoned him after the two women had a run-in at London nightclub Kabaret, and then gave him specific instructions about what she wanted him to feed to the gossip pages of the New York Post.

"I listened carefully. I took notes. And then, I made a call. Then, I called the Post," Shuter said in his Dec. 16 videotaped deposition.

The story that appeared in the Post's Page Six column July 2 portrayed Graff as a "jealous ex-girlfriend" who went "berserk" when she saw Hilton dancing with Paris Latsis, Graff's former boyfriend.

The Post quoted "an anonymous eyewitness" who claimed Graff tried to strangle the heiress and grab the jewels off her neck before security restrained her and escorted her from the club.

Shuter said in his deposition that Hilton was the anonymous source and that she referred to herself in the third person as she fed him the following quote: "'It's one thing to lose your boyfriend to Paris Hilton — it's another to find her wearing your family jewels,' mused one observer."

Hilton has admitted, in court documents, that the story was false and even concedes that she tried to have Graff removed from the club. However, her attorneys say she denies causing the article to be published.

"Paris didn't turn on the printing machines," the Hilton attorneys stated. "Paris didn't load the papers on the truck and distribute them about the city. They should have checked the story out. It's not Paris' fault the press is so lazy and gullible."

"Hilton believes that certain statements contained in the article were communicated to the New York Post by Robert Shuter of Dan Klores Communications, without Hilton's prior consent, knowledge, participation or authorization," say documents filed in September by Hilton's attorneys, who could not be reached for comment.

But Shuter said that the "media savvy" socialite "painted a very dramatic and pretty ugly scene" during their four-minute conversation.

"She dictated and I wrote," Shuter said, adding later, "My recollection is that she wanted to say something much more mean than this. Much more tough. I can't remember, but I definitely had to tone the bitchiness back."

Graff's attorneys want to question Latsis next.

"We look forward to all of the facts coming out, so that we can carefully edit them. And in that regard, we will be taking Paris Latsis' deposition later this month," Paul Berra of Lavely & Singer told Courttv.com.

Two European tabloids that ran the Post piece have since apologized and retracted the article. The Post has not retracted the article, but on Tuesday Page Six quoted another anonymous source as saying Hilton admitted during her own deposition that she lied when she planted a story in the press about Graff.

"Hilton will learn a valuable lesson about what happens when you try to ruin another person's reputation," Graff says in a statement published by the Post, which Berra confirmed to be Graff's words. "She made a number of false statements about me, and she repeatedly lied under oath during her recent deposition. I look forward to her explaining all of this to a jury."

Based on previous cases involving wealthy New York Women and Senators slandering opponents and lying under oath it is anticipated that Paris will get off with no punishment whatever.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/paris-hilton-catfight-with-only-one-cat.html. Thanks!

Friday the 13th and Beyatch Got Wheels


Yep, I'm still in class. Right now I'm loaded up on coffee and piss and I'm supposed to be headed back to class. But as I said, I need to pee. So I'm typing on my blog instead of doing either of those things, naturally.

I got a new boss. Or rather, I'm getting a new boss. Nothing remains constant here. Everything has to be shuffled as often as possible so no one can figure out what the hell is going on. No, I don't really know the reason why. But we like to sit around and theorize with our deep thoughts. I've never met my new boss, but they say he's a nice guy. My previous boss has a Porsche. Does the new guy have a Porsche?

I farted and I do believe it's a powerful one. Mmmm mmm.

My Blackberry is stone cold dead. There was a huge thunderstorm last night and it kept me up. The two previous statements are in no way related.

So I've got my Blackberry, which I just totally lost the other day only to find at home sitting on my kitchen table, attached to the battery charger in hopes it will rise again. A coworker had the charger for over a week and I kept having to plug this thing into my cigarette lighter to keep it just barely alive. That was no fun. The lighter/charger is in the way of my shifter in my truck and as it is a stick shift this was a frequent issue for me as I drove to and from work.

Ooh, I farted again and I can feel how nasty this one must smell. Those poor ladies in the cubes next to mine are gonna be dying in a minute.

OK, so I still have to pee. Guess I should go do that.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/friday-13th-and-beyatch-got-wheels.html. Thanks!

Hidden camera in boy's bathroom

Kim Hynes
KWCH 12 Eyewitness News
Wednesday, December 14, 2005

An East High freshman faces expulsion for something the district says never should have happened. Monday Charles Rogers discovered a camera in the foyer of the boy’s bathroom. "The camera there period surprised me. It was a little spy camera, I didn't think anything like that was in the bathroom. I didn't think it was the schools, I thought it was a perverted janitor," Charles said.

He took the camera. He says it was in a little hole in the ceiling tile. He also took the receiver which was in the schools auditorium. "It looked like an irregular setup. It wasn't in a security room," his mom Melinda Rogers said.

Mrs. Rogers says what her son did was wrong. But she wants to know why there was a hidden camera to begin with. Eyewitness News asked the district that question.

It says cameras were installed in two boy’s bathrooms at East High to see who was drawing graffiti. "The camera was outside the bathroom part, so nobody’s privacy was violated. It's just so they could monitor people going in and out," spokeswoman Susan Arensman said. She says East High is the only school that used them. "It was a mistake and we admit this was a mistake and it won't happen again," Arensman said.

Arensman says the school put up the cameras sometime this year without telling the district. She says the other camera has now been removed.

Rogers has also been removed from East High. Next week he has an expulsion hearing for stealing the camera. "I think he should be punished(?!!) But to be expelled for the rest of the year is kind of tough. As misguided as it was, he thought he was doing good in taking down a hidden camera," his mom said. The hearing is next Tuesday, we’ll keep you posted on what happens.

*** This is almost as bad as the lesbian feminist teachers I had who used to come into the boy's bathroom with us, look at us and scream at us while we tried to use the bathroom back when I was in middle school. I guess you don't need a camera when you take down all the doors so everyone can see and then stand inside the bathroom and stare at the whole package. Ah, to be 11 again and return to being abused by those fucking pigs. - Memphis

**** By the way, I am still in class this entire week. That's why my posts are coming out at lunchtime. And yes, I'm still pissy, as you can see.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/hidden-camera-in-boy-bathroom.html. Thanks!

Illusory Art


I'm in class all week, so if I seem to take a long time to reply to your comments it's because I can't. Don't think I'm ignoring you because I'm not. I'd much rather be over at your house drinking your beer than here at work, but I can't help it. I have to do what I have to do. But hey, at least I'm getting some worthwhile training these next 2 weeks. That counts for something. Or, it does ot me anyway.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/illusory-art.html. Thanks!

Who's Number One?

hookem horns
National Champs!

I can't believe I forgot to post this the same night of the game. And what a game it was! USC played some kick-ass football and Texas was literally falling apart with all the injuries from cramps and stuff. But in the end they pulled out a miracle comeback and won.

Dad is an alumni. I was supposed to go there for college, but got shafted at the last minute.

Hook'em Horns!

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/who-number-one.html. Thanks!

Nude Memphis Quiz Time!

OK, I'm just shamelessly stealing from the fantabulous Stacy the Peanut Queen. The following is a quiz about me. It tests your knowledge of my blog, as if coming here is SO important that you'd memorize every single thing you've read or seen. So anyway, give it a shot. See how you do.

memphis rifle rider
Take the Nude Memphis Quiz

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/nude-memphis-quiz-time.html. Thanks!

Is This Your License Plate?

You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/is-this-your-license-plate.html. Thanks!



Cash money.
Got my asking price.
Sold my car.
Done deal.
You have read this article with the title January 2006. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2006/01/sold.html. Thanks!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...