I had thought I was all done being poopy this week. But I was wrong. Apparently I'm still not well. I was about 1/4 of the way to work this morning when it hit me. I needed to poop RIGHT NOW. So I drove to work as fast as my little 4-cylinders and the other people in traffic could go. I came in the door and exploded into the bathroom.
Have you ever noticed that those paper seat covers always give you problems when you have the least amount of time to spare? I sure as hell did.
I pooped enough for 5 men or 3 women. No, only kidding. I have no idea how much poop women make compared to men.
Hey, here's a good advertising slogan, since Secret is no longer using it for some really stupid reason: Charmin - strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
So anyway, I shit my brains out. Yes, I did. And it was messy. And I don't feel good. And it took a lot of toilet paper to take care of business after. You want to know how much TP it took? Go look in the toilet and you'll see 'cause it's all still there.
Yeah, I tried to flush it down. But it wasn't going. No sirree Bob! That toilet is clogged tighter than Ginger Lynn's vagina in a porn film with John Holmes. Yeah buddy!
So anyway, now I feel sick. My attractive fantasy art looking female coworker is home sick today. I guess I should be, too. I may yet have to leave. We'll see how it goes.
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