I'm a Cnut - Fcuk me!

Suddenly I felt all better

I was all set to close down my blog once and for all last week. I had written a lovely 'goodbye' post and everything, all set to post itself automatically on July 22nd at the stroke of midnight. And then I packed my things and I went to the beach.

Funny thing about the beach, I wasn't there for very long before I found myself feeling all better. At 11 pm I pulled out my laptop, hijacked someone's wireless internet connection, and posted something entirely different, pushing my 'goodbye' post into Draft, perhaps to be used some other day.


I wish I could post some of my many fabulous photos that I took while enjoying the ocean waves and white sands, but I left the pictures on the camera that I used which is currently not here with me. Dammit. So maybe later I'll show you some hotties and some not-hotties and some ships and the place where I nearly drowned.

In the meantime, here's something funny that I just blatantly and shamelessly stole from a guy named Jonathan Briley on Facebook:

Top 10 Colonial America Pick-up Lines

1. Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?

2. Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?

3. Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I would spend the evening with pen in hand but no parchment with which to seek relief.

4. Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast eyes upon thy beauty!

5. Did thou polish your pantaloons this morn? No? I thinkest I do see myself within them.

6. O! Prithee, sitteth upon my visage, and perchance to let me divine thy weight.

7. If being a lusty wench was the act of a criminal, thou would surely be in the stocks.

8. ‘tis darkening clouds on the horizon, can you provide safe harbor for my ship of state?

9. Would you like to assist me in my efforts to repeat the recent scientific work of Sir William Herschel ( discoverer of Uranus)?

10. Tell me wench, Is thy father a farmer? For those are the ripest melons in the market this day.

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Memphipedia: SHIT

An interesting fact. Learn something new every day……………..

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a byproduct is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.

...and lets not forget about For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge! But that's a different lesson.

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It's Hell Getting Old!

old man

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.'

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.'

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, but none of us could get the jar open.'

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Misandric Monday - Sexism and Sexual Abuse in Marketing


Why does every single ad for any sort of 'self-defense' class or martial arts school feature a photo of a woman sexually assaulting a man while the man makes a face of agony? Is this all they teach?

Why is it always a woman sexually assaulting a man? Why is it never a man kicking another man? Why not a woman kicking a woman? What are they trying to say when they only ever show a graphic image of a woman sexually assaulting a man? If it weren't sexual, there would be no reason not to show a man kicking a man, or a woman kicking a woman.

An image just like this one has been featured in every single issue of "Memphis Fitness" magazine for as long as I can remember. Depending on how many ads they run for various martial arts schools, they may have several of these images, but always featuring the same scenario as this one - a woman sexually assaulting a man. Always. Memphis largest newspapers, "The Commercial Appeal" and "The Memphis Flyer", have the same ads with the same images of misandric sexual violence. Sometimes these photos are displayed on billboards alongside our highways.

When did graphic sexual violence become acceptable for every single magazine and newspaper, such that they think nothing of running these ads and showing these images to anyone who happens to pick up their publication? When did it become not only acceptable, but common, to display and encourage sexual violence for everyone, including our children, to see?

What do you suppose the magazines and newspapers' response would be to a request to run an add for self-defense those showed a man slamming a woman onto her back, with her feet up over his head while he pressed his groin against hers and she made a face of pain and terror? It's a legitimate judo move, you know. So what if it has sexual overtones? We're all about the self-defense and anything goes, right?

You and I both know what would happen - that ad would never see the light of day.

2 years ago a feminist hate group in Colorado used tax-payer funds to hire a feminist artist to create a sculpture featuring nothing but severed male genitals hanging from strings and a sign that said something about stopping sexual abuse. This obviously sexist threat of sexual mutilation of males, and only of males, was then hung up in the public library and forced on every single person who entered the building.

People complained and many parents pointed out that their young sons were extremely traumatized by the display. Yet the library refused to take the display down or even to move it, saying it had a First Amendment right to threaten sexual mutilation of males if it wanted to. Of course, they didn't word it that way. They wrapped their statement in political and religious jargon to try and portray themselves as victims who were merely empowering women, blah blah blah.

Finally, an outraged man did the only decent thing he could, and tore the display down, taking the clay penises and testicles and placing them all in a box which he then carried out of the building with him. Most citizens indicated to The Press that they were glad to see the "burning cross" finally taken down. But the feminists naturally were, as ever, outraged. They had the man arrested and thrown in jail.

Why is it considered OK to hate males to such an extreme degree that blatant threats of sexual abuse are found everywhere on display, without a word of protest against them? Or, when protests are made, the authorities rush to protect the sexist offenders and arrest the ordinary citizens who demand some sort of decency?

Why would anyone wishing to attract students to their school or class consistently use imagery that so clearly states hostility towards one entire sex? Am I the only one who considers what a bad marketing strategy this is? Small wonder that most martial arts students now are females.

I know why men don't protest this sort of thing more than we do. We never get taken seriously and the end result is always simply more of what we were protesting to begin with. Whenever we admit that something hurts all we ever get is more of it. But I do wonder, why do mothers with sons never protest this? Why do they teach their daughters to treat males this way but never even think to teach their sons to have enough self-respect to not tolerate being treated this way? Why are the Christians not protesting this hate? Have we been so inundated with this total contempt for males for so long that it simply escapes everyone's notice now? Has it become such a common part of our daily landscape that we don't even recognize it anymore?

Why does everyone get upset about rap songs that call women "bitch" and "ho", yet never see the clear and obvious consequences of these images and this message of castration as a positive thing? What's worse, calling a girl a name, or telling a boy that for him to be sexually abused is empowering to women and therefore a good thing? To "take it like a man" has apparently come to mean lie still and allow yourself to be castrated. Nothing could be less 'empowering' than that.

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Ohio Hate Crime - "This is a Black World!"

Martin Marshall (right) recounts the racist attack by a gang of black supremacists on himself and his white family and friends while they were watching a Fourth of July fireworks display in Firestone Park. His daughter, Rachel Hopson, 15, (left) and wife, Yvonne Marshall, listen. (Michael Chritton/Akron Beacon Journal)

Akron police say they aren't ready to call it a hate crime.

But to Marty Marshall, his wife and two kids, and anyone who isn't a total fucking idiot, it seems pretty clear.

It came after a family night of celebrating America's freedom with a fireworks show at Firestone Stadium. Marshall, his family and two friends were gathered outside a friend's home in South Akron.

Out of nowhere, the six were attacked by dozens of black supremacists, who shouted ''This is our world'' and ''This is a black world'' as they attacked Marshall and his family.

The Marshalls, who are white, say the gang of black racist teens who attacked them and two friends June 27 on Girard Street numbered close to 50.

The racists were all black.

''This was almost like being a terrorist act,'' Marshall said. ''And we allow this to go on in our neighborhoods?''

They said it started when one black racist, without any words or warning, sucker punched Marshall's friend as he stood outside with the others.

When Marshall, 39, jumped in, he found himself being attacked by the growing group of black supremacist hate criminals.

His daughter, Rachel, 15, who weighs about 90 pounds, tried to come to his rescue. The black supremacists pushed her to the ground.

His wife, Yvonne, pushed their son, Donald, 14, into bushes to keep him from getting caught in the middle of it.

''My thing is,'' Marshall said, ''I didn't want this, but I was in fear for my wife, my kids and my friends. I felt I had to stay out there to protect them, because those guys were just jumping, swinging fists and everything.

''I'm lucky ... They were trying to take my head off my spine, basically.''

After several minutes of beatings, the attack ended and the black racists left.

''I don't think I thought at that moment when I tried to jump in,'' Rachel Marshall said. ''But when I was laying on the ground, I was just scared.''

Marshall was the most seriously injured. He said he spent five nights in the critical care unit at Akron General Medical Center.

Marshall, a construction worker, said he now fears for his family's safety, and the thousands of dollars in medical bills he faces without insurance.

''I knew I was going to get beat, but not as bad as I did,'' Marshall said. ''But I did it to protect my family. I didn't have a choice. There was no need for this. We should be all getting along. But to me, it seems to be racist.''

Akron police are investigating. Right now, the case is not being classified as a racial hate crime. There were no other reports of victims assaulted by the group that night, which has nothing whatever to do with whether or not this is a hate crime.

The department's gang unit is involved in the investigation, police said, for no particular reason.

''We don't know if it's a known gang, or just a group of (racist) kids,'' police Lt. Rick Edwards said.

The Marshalls say they fear retaliation at home or when they go outside. They are considering arming themselves.

For now, they are hoping police can (will) bring them suspects. They can identify several of the attackers.

''This makes you think about your freedom,'' Marshall said. ''In all reality, where is your freedom when you have this going on?''


originally written by Phil Trexler, who can be reached at 330-996-3717 or ptrexler@thebeaconjournal.com.

Modified by Memphis Steve to remove as much PC bullshit as possible. Feel free to repost this story and/or forward to others who may be interested. Obviously it is a story which the Leftist American News Media will bury as quickly as possible to prevent anyone from hearing about it.

* Special thanks to Dr. Helen from bringing this hate crime to light.
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Once a Century

Shortly after 12pm on July 8, comes the moment that can be called 12:34:56 7/8/9. Happens only once a century. Too cool!

Yes, yes, I know you don't list the dates that way in Europe and the UK and Australia and New Zealand and South Africa and blah blah blah. You fuckers do it wrong, that's all.
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The Knob

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young & looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working just fine.

I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.'

The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.'

She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.

There are days when I feel a strong urge to write on my blog. There are days when I don't.

There are days when I feel guilty for not having had any time to go and comment on all the blogs that I read in Google Reader every day. And there are days when I don't.

There are days when I realize that I can already talk to half of my favorite bloggers on Facebook or some other such site and therefore wouldn't really lose touch if I left. And there are days when I wonder about the people that I haven't met yet.

There are days when I am too exhausted to even turn the computer on. And there are days when I'm exhausted because I didn't have the self-control to know when to turn it off the night before.

And then there is today. I am tired. And I don't have much to say. And I wonder if this is a passing phase or perhaps an indication that I am winding down.

We shall see what we shall see. Whatever will be will be.

And yet, here I am $5 away from another check from Google for running their ads. Oh, decisions decisions!

You have read this article A waitress came up to my table with a tampon behind her ear. She pulled out her notepad and grabbed the tampon and said "oh dear / now where did I put that pencil?" with the title July 2009. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2009/07/the-knob.html. Thanks!

Burt's Stache talking about Age and Conversations

I'm over at Burt's Stache today. Do me and favor and come leave me a comment.

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