Meme I stole from Ute that she stole from Spiky

1. Have you ever mooned/flashed anyone? How long ago?

When I was younger we used to moon cars. The last time was in college when a passive/aggressive woman was blocking the passing lane, as passive/aggressives are prone to do in the city where I grew up. She, of course, did not change lanes into the right-hand lane from which she needed to turn until the last possible moment, not using a signal or anything as they might make it easier on the other drivers to share the road with her. We, being intoxicated young males with little appreciation for rolling roadblocks, all hung our asses out the window, slowed next to her and honked the horn. She turned just in time to get a face-full of hairy white ass and maybe a glimpse of ballsack. It was totally worth it. She was a cunt and we laughed for hours over her shocked expression.

2. Pick an animal that best displays your personality.

Stray Dog - I'm always on the run, from here to there to anywhere I can find something to eat or roll in. I chase foxes and pussies that I have no intention of catching, randomly show up in people's yards, poop wherever the need strikes me, gladly accept a pat on the head from strangers, and will gleefully hump your leg if you let me. If you feed me I'll be your dog for as long as you want and will attack anyone who tries to invade your territory or leave rude comments on your blog. I'm faithful to a fault. You can leave me out in the rain for a whole year before returning to blog again and I'll still be here, sitting in your driveway happily wagging my tail at your return. Please don't ever have me 'fixed' and don't worry about flea collars or shots. Strays take care of themselves. All I need is a little encouragement every now and then. And steak. Any spare steak you have lying around, please give it to me. Mmmmm steak!

3. Do you mail out holiday cards, and if so, how do you pick the list?

I normally do. My list is ginormously long. And now, because I have an ever-growing litany of Jewish friends, I find myself buying more and more Hanukkah cards as well. I never know exactly when to mail the Hanukkah cards, though, since it seems the date changes slightly every year, so I just mail them out randomly, sort of like I do the Christmas cards. This year I was unable to mail many cards at all due to my having stupidly left my mailing list in Memphis while I was in Alabama. It turned out alright, though, since apparently almost all of my friends did the same and failed to send me any cards either. Funny that.

4. How often do you wear something sexy to get attention (lingerie, low cut dress, silk boxers, etc...)?

Um yeah, nothing looks sexy on me that I know of. The Mrs tells me I look hot in work boots, tight jeans and a cowboy hat, so every now and then I mow the yard in my boots and jeans and cowboy hat and then come in all glistening and sweaty and covered in grass and say "hey baby, let's you and me do it on the Snapper."

5. Have you ever tasted breast milk SINCE you were an adult?

No, never tasted it ever, not even as a child. Have you not figured out by now that Momma didn't love me? Well now you know.

There, my meme that I stole from Ute that she stole from Spiky is done. Are you properly impressed? Good, now I need to go poop.

And now for my monthly public service announcement. Don't drink too much and then go to McDonald's. You might end up on YouTube.

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Today's News and Headlines

King Obama

Obama makes state of union speech during "Glee"

President Obama interrupted the very popular program, "Glee", to make a speech in which he said "I", "Me", "My", and "Mine" over 14,000 times. Reports are that fans of "Glee" rioted in the streets for over 6 hours before being Tasered to death in the genitals by riot police in several American cities. Obama dismissed these reports by waving his hand and stating, "we don't torture. That is to say, we don't torture terrorists or people from other countries. Our own citizens is another matter. We definitely torture them. I mean, that's what the Taser's for. Everybody knows that." 

North Korea resumes firing artillery across border

North Korea began firing artillery at South Korea today, loading their guns with Disney movies rather than artillery shells in order to save costs. A North Korean general whose name no one can pronounce said that the 'childrens' movies, which feature many scenes of sexual violence against males, are ridiculous, destructive and offensive and thus make good weapons to fire into enemy territory because their message corrupts society and normalizes sexual violence against the fathers, husbands and sons of that society, ultimately destroying the entire civilization from within.

College endowments shrink

American colleges and universities have suffered enormous amounts of shrinkage, partly as a result of the stress of financial hardship, but mostly because of the effects of radical feminism, which drives away all healthy males and leaves only pathetic men with small penises to serve as professors and "male feminists." Studies show that the average male college professor of today has a penis over 5 inches shorter than the average male penis of years past. Scientists theorize that this "Tiny Penis Syndrome" might explain why they are perpetually angry at other males.

John Edwards - the Ladies Man

John and Elizabeth Edwards separate after 30 years of cheating

John Edwards, the Great American Breck Girl of the Democratic Party, has left his wife to engage in a full-blown affair with Elin Woods, current wife of Tiger Woods. Tiger, meanwhile, is said to be shacking up with Angelina Jolie, who is rumored to have separated from Brad Pitt for the twelve thousandth time by TMZ. Brad, according to Angelina, is content to masturbate and not be with anyone at this point in his life. "He just finds all that work in having full blown sex to be more trouble than it's worth. I guess older men really don't give a shit. Or maybe it's all the pot he smokes?" Rumors have already begun circulating that Jennifer Aniston has moved back in with Brad and is busily disproving Angelina's claim that Brad prefers masturbation over full blown heterosexual sex.

Californians say state is on wrong course

A majority of California citizens, in what is perhaps the largest ever example of stating the obvious, say that their state is on the wrong course and is likely headed for a very liberalized, green, diverse, tolerant total disaster. As of this writing, no one could be found who disagreed with the basic sentiment, although many chose to blame George Bush rather than California residents' own excessive idealism.

Abortion shooter to testify

A man who stands accused of shooting both an abortion doctor and an abortion protester has agreed to testify at his own trial. Through his attorney he has already stated that he was "just really damn confused and didn't know whether he was strongly for or against abortion, but he knew he felt strongly about it in some way. He just couldn't decide so he shot them both." Regardless of his testimony, he is expected to receive a lot of sexual abuse and torture while in prison and then, once thoroughly traumatized and completely transformed into a real monster, set free again. That's just how we do it here in America cuz we reel smart.

Onion field killer denied parole

The man convicted of viciously slaughtering a field full of onions has been denied parole once again following sometimes violent protests by vegans outside the prison where he is being raped and tortured every day, both by criminally insane inmates as well as sociopathic guards, prior to his ultimate release sometime when no one is paying attention anymore. "We'll wait until the media gets bored with him," warden Linda Tripp said, "and then we'll just quietly send him home. He'll be so crazy by the time he gets out of here that he'll probably kill himself anyway. He's no threat. Unless you get him around a bunch of onions. He really hates those onions."

Zac Enfron to star in spy thriller

Zac Efron, in an attempt to escape from the pedophiles at Walt Disney, is producing and starring in his own film, "Fire," in which he plays a spy who hunts down and kills homosexual pedophiles who prey on young boys in the entertainment industry. When asked if there was any connection between his time with Disney and the rather angry message of the film he stated simply, "what the hell do you think?"

zac efron
I just want them to stop raping me

And now for a joke I just stole from Ute:

Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout, "Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up!"

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Australia Day 2010

Australia Day 2010
Happy Australia Day!
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Final Warning

Subject: Final Warning
From: "Facebook"
To: undisclosed-recipients

Account Alert

Dear Valued Member,

Due to the congestion in all Facebook account users and removal of all unused Facebook Accounts,Facebook would be shutting down all unused Accounts,You will have to confirm your E-mail by filling out your Login Info below after clicking the reply button, or your account will be suspended within 3 days for security reasons.

User Name: ... ... ............
Jimmy McCuntingbanger 
Email Address:.................... 
Password:...... ........ ........ blowmeABC123diddlydee 
Date of Birth:........ ....... ... January 1st, 1910 
Country Or Territory: ....... . Buttheadistan 
Occupation:................................  male prostitute (currently unemployed)

After following the instructions in the sheet, your account will not be interrupted and will continue as normal.. Thanks for your attention to this request. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his or her account before 3 days of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.

The Facebook Team
Copyright © 2010 Facebook! Inc. All rights reserved.
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3 am and I'm still awake writing this blog

I've got 3 comments on old posts waiting to be moderated and I just can't be bothered. I think this blogging thing has jumped the shark. Or maybe I have? I still love the blogs I read, but I find that I have little time to visit them properly and leave a totally off-the-wall comment like I used to. I read, but can't think of anything to say. I guess it really must just be me. I can barely write on my own blog anymore. And it isn't for lack of material. 

People are still insane in traffic. I just care a lot less than I used to.

Our politicians are crazier and more corrupt than ever, but I find myself shrugging and just turning away. Yes, the upset in Massachusetts was fun, but it was a bit like when the Dallas Cowboys beat the undefeated New Orleans Saints earlier this season. It was just so unexpected. Those people up there in Massachusetts must be really pissed off about something.

There's no shortage of hot women I'd love to 'do' if we all lived in a fantasy world without consequences.

The news is still loaded with stupid slanted stories that just beg for my fabulous commentary.

But lately I just yawn and turn away. I don't know what's wrong. I must be low on testosterone or something. Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep?

OK, the TV is on while I write this. I thought I was ignoring it, but now I realize I'm not.

These Axe bodyspray and shampoo television commercials are freaky. I should probably just be glad that they aren't depicting the male characters as too stupid to cross a room without a wife and a GPS to give them directions like the Intuit TurboTax commercials do. Instead they play up the teenaged male desire to be attacked and molested by a gang of sexy females. That's fine, I guess, but the last time I encountered a boy who believed the hype he had bathed himself in the stuff to the point that no one could stand closer than 20 feet near him without being overwhelmed by the odor. Clearly this boy lacked a father to tell him that the commercials are just hype and bullshit. Poor, smelly, fatherless boy.

Smelly, fatherless boy needs Axe body spray

You know, as I struggle through this post I think I see one of the reasons I've lost my love of the internet and blogging and all of that stuff. It's this damn Dell laptop computer. It's just such a huge pain in the ass to do anything with this thing. Writing a blog post takes twice as long as it should just because of all the problems with this stupid piece of shit. I need to go back to the old desktop and forget this thing. It's hard to focus on the idea in your head when you have to rewrite everything 2 and 3 times because your laptop randomly highlights everything you've written and then deletes it for no apparent reason, but that is exactly what this fucker does. Dell has really sucked over the past several years. What is up with that?

And now for something, er, just wtf?

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Catalina is Not a Lesbian, Dammit!

No, NOT a lesbian!

I'm watching "Scrubs" on TV right now. Nadine Velazquez, the actress who plays Catalina on "My Name is Earl" is on.  She's playing a lesbian. I am not liking this. I know there are some weird guys who think it's hot when sexy women play lesbians, but I happen to know several lesbians and I want to let you all in on an important secret .... they will usually NOT have sex with you in an oil-covered threesome involving leather and some boots and a whip and they will usually not let you watch them doing it either. OK, sometimes there are exceptions, but you have to really know how to talk fast and say the right things and sometimes it's just flying blind. I mean, it was pure luck and would probably never happen again in a million years. And truth be told, I love my lesbian friends even if most of them don't have sex with me in an oiled and slippery leather-bound threesome and don't let me watch. But anyway, this is neither here nor there. I do NOT want to see my favorite illegal alien playing a dying lesbian in a hospital bed. NO, NO, NO, No Lesbian Catalina!

Give me Dorothy!

There's a big U.S. Senate election going on in Massachusetts right now to determine who will replace Ted Kennedy, who died last year. The Democrats are running a massive bitch named .... something Coakley.. who used to be district attorney and threw innocent men into prison with a laugh while riding her broom around the city screaming "Give me Dorothy!" The Republicans ran some pansy-ass "compassionate conservative", ie: Jimmy Carter wannabe. He got booted in the early election and is no longer even in the running because NO ONE WANTS THAT. Another candidate, Scott Brown, ran as a Republican, also, but independent of the main Republican party. He's a true Constitution-loving, freedom-fighting, conservative type. Surprisingly, despite Misandrichusetts being the lesbian, man-hating, tax-me-bitch capital of the eastern United States, the voters there are somewhat disillusioned with their years and years of corrupt and intoxicated Kennedy rule and Far-Left politics. More than that, back in 2006 they voted for their own state-controlled healthcare only to find that it has been a fucking nightmare of epic proportions. So when the biggest issue in the nation at the current time is government-controlled healthcare, the citizens of Massachusetts know more about it than most.

And so, with that in mind, and as I wrote this meaningless drivel that most of you just skimmed without reading anyway, the results of the special election are in: whatshisface, that Republican guy, won!

Yay! Little party in my pants here. I'm celebrating with a tiny bottle of vodka and cheese crackers because I'm all by myself at the computer and that's how you celebrate under these circumstances.

Are you Sarah Connor?

My Blackberry has gone completely mad. It's acting like that computer network in "The Terminator" movies. It's taken on a mind of its own. Last night it repeatedly texted all the hot girls in my address book. This afternoon it actually called one of them and talked to her for 5 minutes. She didn't agree to go out with it, but she later told me that it was really persistent and promised her that it would let her live when it conquered the world and eradicated all mankind.

If you have ever given me your cell phone number, or I stole it off Facebook without asking your permission, beware of any text messages that you receive from me for the next several weeks.

Don't kill Kim

There's some disaster movie on the TV now. It is apparently supposed to be funny. It's one of those movies that makes fun of lots and lots of other movies, like the ones the Wayans Brothers used to make. Except this one isn't made by the Wayans Brothers. And it isn't funny. One thing it does have going for it is Kim Kardashian. Or at least, it did, until they killed her under a giant flying bagel. Yes, it's a Jewish movie. The flying bagel was the giveaway. OK, Kim is dead so I'm turning it to something with nudity.

Something with nudity

Speaking of nudity ...


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Crawling Into Friday

This is a totally random posting of the various thoughts rolling around in my brain. I expect it to be very short, so of course it will be a long and rambling monstrosity when I'm done.

I've been asked to be president of the local chapter of an organization that promotes various causes and legal issues. It's not a replacement for my job, but it would eat up my spare time. I'm not going to explain any more than that, but I'm considering accepting the offer even though I have no idea what the hell I'm doing and I'm no lawyer or lobbyist. Trial by fire, I suppose. Maybe it'll be fun?

It's weird that they asked me. I just got here. It's like walking into the bank to make a deposit and instead the bank president hands you the keys and says "here, you run the bank now. I'm going to play golf."

Apparently I have passion and they liked that. Then again, I'm impressed that The Hysterical Ladies Network's own Jane Mitchell Velez has passion, even though I think she's totally wrong most of the time. So, with that in mind, I have a few reservations.

Ooh, look at that, I'm a Cherokee "native American" and I said I have a few "reservations." Funny stuff. Yeah, OK, not so much. Moving right along ...

A few weeks ago I had posted as my status on Facebook "The NAACP just called me and left a message." My friends all left snarky comments and making jokes about how I should probably run away. But I wasn't kidding. They called me to talk about something that I very much wanted to discuss. I had contacted them first, actually. I have to say, I'm really shocked at how disorganized they seem to be. I don't know how they get anything done.

I don't know if we'll talk again, but if I accept this position I should hope there might be a better flow of communication between us, as well as some other organizations I contacted. I know who used to run the NAACP and what it used to be about, but I don't know if that's still true today. If it is, we won't talk. If it isn't, I'm going to keep calling them.

I contacted several other organizations and some members of Congress. Very few ever get back to me. You have to be stubborn and annoying to get anything done.

I probably won't ever talk about this again.

What is the Tea Party Party? Are they a third political party with their own candidates or are they just a movement that is nominating candidates from the usual 2 main parties who share their views? Perhaps I knew the answer to this at some point, but I'm very tired and have begun to wonder about this.

I am beginning to realize that a huge number of people around me either never sleep or hardly ever sleep. I've had sleep problems since I was 10 years old, but I thought I was practically the only one.

Last night I ran into a guy I ran track with in high school. We hadn't spoken since those days. We ended up going to a club to listen to another old high school friend and his band play. We talked a lot about where we were today and how we'd gotten there. He was always a fun guy. Everyone likes him and always has.

He told me he has two sons. He has to pay his ex-wife $1200 every month and has been forced to do this for the past 8 years because when they were divorcing, her lawyer told her to quit her job so she would have no source of income at the time of the divorce. It's a standard trick to take as much income away from the non-custodial parent, the father 98 percent of the time, and shift it to the custodial parent, the mother, regardless of actual need. She had a perfectly good job, but she quit it anyway and has been taking this enormous monthly sum from him ever since. In addition to this money, he is paying for the boys' education separately, plus other expenses as they arise. It's funny that he said $1200, because that's the exact same amount all my other divorced male friends are paying to their exes.

Not surprisingly, with all of this money going to the woman who divorced him, he is forced into less than optimal living conditions himself. He has to live in an apartment. And he has to have a roommate to help pay the rent. He doesn't date and he doesn't care to ever marry again. He joined some local father's rights group that I had briefly heard of and then forgotten, but he says he's almost reached the point where he no longer has to pay her, and he plans to drop out of it once that happens.

I never got the chance to ask him, but I was wondering, "why drop out? Did you guys win and change things? If not, what about your 2 sons? If you stop fighting and you didn't win, won't it be worse when their turn comes around?"

He also told me that he never sleeps. And he never has. He said he sleeps maybe 2 or 3 hours each night and that's it. Even with my sleep problems I get more than that. I couldn't function on that. Some days, like today, I don't even function all that well on the 5-6 hours that I usually get.

I have discovered that several of my friends have prescriptions for various powerful anti-anxiety medications which help them sleep. It seems there are a lot of very anxious Americans these days. And we don't sleep much. We sit up late at night and stress and worry, often on Facebook. I discovered this late one night when a huge explosion rocked the south end of town and suddenly several Facebook statuses were updated to say "what the hell was that???" I was in the middle of writing the very same words when I saw others say it first. I found myself thinking, "good God, nobody sleeps anymore! I thought I was alone at this hour."

Everyone and their brother is on freakin' Facebook. It's turned into a veritable high school reunion. I'm making friends with people I went to school with, but never knew. And some people I did know and liked just fine hardly ever talk to me, or sometimes won't even accept my friend request. One girl I played soccer with and later ran track with emailed a mutual friend asking who I am. She said she doesn't remember me and has no idea why I'd ask to be her friend. Our mutual friend told me, laughing, that she is strange and can't seem to remember anyone.

Ah well, life goes on.

Last night in a club a woman tapped me on the shoulder and asked "aren't you the guy who commented on Judy's page earlier today?"

"Yes," I replied. "You look familiar."

"I'm Jane. Judy is a mutual friend of ours, I guess. We both commented on her status about that explosion last night."

Today I got a friend request from Jane.

Meanwhile, the Obama White House is busy nationalizing everything in America, just like Chavez in Venezuela has done, and we're all so very excited about becoming the next Venezuela. Or Zimbabwe.

And while he's doing that, Hillary and the Grrlz are actively spreading their particular brand of femarxism, which is more accurately called female supremacy, across the planet. They're using American tax dollars to build schools for girls-only in communities where no schools for anyone exist. Now the girls can read and write and the boys can't. Awesome. They're also paying women in poor communities to set up women-owned businesses which compete with struggling family-owned businesses where presumably men are at least equal to their wives, but which don't have trillions of American tax dollars to prop them up. So the established businesses, the mom and pop businesses, are driven out of business altogether by the new foreign-government-owned mom-only businesses which don't have to make a dime in profit thanks to being subsidized by my forcibly redistributed taxes.

This female-first, female-only dogma, where third-world males often aren't given any educational opportunities at all and any business with a man around is driven out of business, is the goal and, in fact, the religion of many modern American Leftists. Like true sociopaths, the wide path of destruction their agendas of the past have left is of no interest to them. They never look back, never regret anything, never learn from the past, never listen to anyone, and never second guess their own dogmas. And if you or I should ever question the dogma, by God, they'll come after us both with flaming swords, strapped on bombs, and an army of lawyers to punish us infidels for our sin of disbelief.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

Redistribution of wealth always seems to create an awful lot of poverty and death, doesn't it? And it always is done using someone else's money, someone else's blood, someone else's sweat, and someone else's tears. Heaven forbid that the dogmatic idealists sacrifice anything of their own for the cause. Oh no! The idealist has contributed the most important part, that is, the gift of their glorious ideas which came to mind while they were lounging at the country club smoking a joint and discussing the world's problems with their drug dealer. All of this idea-creating is an awful difficult task. If the idealist were forced to sacrifice of their own lives to actually implement their ideals, why, when would they find the time to lounge around coming up with all of their fabulous ideas?

I have a great idea. Let's redistribute your body into my belly!

I heard a joke last night. A man was getting dressed at his wedding. His best man was standing next to him and the groomsman were mingling around the room, all getting ready. The best man looks at the groom and says, "Dude, you've been smiling from ear to ear this whole time. Are you really that happy to be getting married?"

The groom looks at him and says, "I just got the best blowjob I've ever had in my whole life! And I'm about to marry the woman who gave it to me. Is that awesome or what?"

"Dude," the best man replies, "you are one lucky bastard."

Meanwhile, in the next room, the bride and all her bridesmaids are getting ready. The bride is beaming, like a radiant flower. The maid of honor looks at her and says, "you are smiling the biggest smile I think I've ever seen."

The bride smiles even brighter and says, "yeah, I am pretty happy. I just gave the last blowjob I'm ever going to have to give for the rest of my life!"

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An Enlightening Conversation with 3 Women

I was having a drink and a conversation with 3 women at a bar when somehow the topic of political propaganda and false "everybody knows" statistics came up. Yes, I probably raised the topic myself. I can't remember just now. Anyway, I used as an example the repeatedly disproven lie that 1 of every 4 women in the United States (they claim this for every nation in the world actually) has been raped.

I said, "this is not only not true, but independent researchers trying to find the source of this claim traced it back to a study funded by the Ms Foundation in which a very small number of college women were surveyed and then the feminist conducting the survey assigned them the status of rape victim based on her slanted view of heterosexual sexual behavior rather than on their own statements as to whether or not they themselves had been raped.

Raped by the Ms Foundation

In other words, she declared female students to be rape victims who said they were not.

This kind of arrogant "we feminists know what's best for you silly girls" is a standard feature of the American Female Supremacist viewpoint and always has been. Nevertheless, the results of the study, which was conducted only of college girls, not women in general, were released along with the claim that 1 in 4 of the college women surveyed had been raped, including the ones who said that they had not. From there it was taken up by feminists as a favorite mantra and modified to be a rape statistic for all women everywhere.

I believe ...

My Blonde Female Friend sitting next to me looked at me with wide eyes and said, "I believe one out of four is wrong. I believe it's more. I believe three out of every four women have been raped."

"What?? You can't be serious," I responded. "The one in four claim was preposterous and then it was disproven. Do you believe three in every four men are rapists? Because that's basically what that's saying. Either that or there are a handful of very tired rapists out there running around with no time for anything but raping and more raping. How could you possibly believe that 75 percent of women in America have been raped?"

"Well, I was raped. It was a friend of mine. It was date rape. Most of the girls I know lost their virginity that way. So I think three out of every four women have probably been raped."

As I sat there looking at her in disbelief, My Brunette Female Friend sitting to the right of My Blonde Female Friend turned and said, "I agree with her. I think it's probably three out of four. I was basically molested by a guy and I know a lot of women have been somehow molested or abused. I think three out of four women have been sexually abused in some way. She's right."

"But we're not talking about sexual molestation," I protested. "We're talking specifically about rape."

"Well," she countered, "it doesn't matter. I still agree."

"Me too," My Blonde Female Friend concurred. "I agree with her. Three of every four women have been raped."

"But that's not what she said," I responded. "She said molested and you said raped and the two are not the same."

And then a third female friend jumped into the conversation.

"I agree with them, too," she said. "My ex husband beat me and I have a lot of friends who were abused and beaten by boyfriends and husbands. I agree."

"That's domestic violence," I said. "We're talking about rape."

"She's right," My Blonde Female Friend stated very matter-of-factly. "see, it's three out of every four. We've all been raped."

"Yes, I agree, too," My Brunette Female Friend nodded.

The Third Female Friend also nodded.

"But the three of you are all talking about something entirely different!" I erupted. "You're talking about rape," I said as I pointed to the Blonde. "You're talking about sexual assault," I said now pointing to the Brunette. "And you're talking about domestic violence," I said as I pointed to the Third Woman. "And all three of you are agreeing as if you're talking about the same thing, but you're not! That's insane!"

All the women nodded and smiled, happily agreeing with each other even as they all held entirely separate conversations which none of them were really listening to or paying any significant attention to.

"Is this how women normally talk about important issues?" I asked. "Do you all just agree to go along with whatever each other says even when you don't really know what the others are talking about?"

"I guess," My Blonde Female Friend said, still smiling the same wide-eyed smile of total empty detachment.


"What's wrong with that?" The Third Woman asked.

"What's wrong is that our nation's laws and people's lives are affected by this kind of thinking and I find it highly disturbing that you have all agreed to go along with whatever the others are saying even though you don't have any idea what the other is saying. You seem to just like the idea of women being victimized by men, whether its true or not, and it doesn't seem to bother you that there is no logic or reason to agreeing with someone who has said something entirely different than what you're saying. It's like I've walked through the looking glass into Wonderland and nothing makes any sense."

Welcome to Hu Ha land

"What wrong with that?" they all said together.

It was an "ah ha" moment, a moment when I began to see behind the curtain of the Female Mind to the crazy little wizard hiding behind it, frantically flipping levers and spinning dials to try to maintain the illusion of sanity.

"The three of you make no sense," I said. "And yet you have all agreed to go along with one another without any concern whatever to what is being discussed or whether any of it has even a shred of truth to it. And you're happy with that. It doesn't seem to concern you that horrible injustice results from that or that lives are destroyed. It doesn't seem to concern you that no one can follow your logic, because there isn't any, and in fact, you can't even follow each other so you don't even try to. You just go along to get along. And isn't that how date rapes often occur? Isn't that where a lot of sexual abuse comes from, just going along and not saying what you really think or feel, so that the person molesting you doesn't even know that they've abused you? How can they know if you just smile and go along as if everything is OK while they're peeling off your clothes?"

They all just smiled at me and continued nodding and drinking, not hearing a single word I had said, but happily agreeing.

I agree absolutely

I sat there with them, My Crazy Female Friends, for the rest of the night, quietly drinking and absorbing the insanity that I had just experienced. I don't understand women. I thought I did, but now I think I don't even want to. I'm afraid I might be disappointed if I did.

Or insane.

Perhaps when it comes to women, men are the same way, lying to ourselves just to get along, happy in our blissful ignorance, believing them to be innocent angels who just happen to have nice boobies and a warm place to put our HapPenis every now and then. And perhaps we don't really want to know what I just learned because it screws with that paradigm.

You want the truth?
You can't handle the truth!

Are all women crazy? If so then men must be, too, because we love them and give our lives to save theirs when the situation calls for it. We risk everything just for the chance to be with them. Surely that must be insanity.

So here's to insanity, a toast to the madness that binds us together and rips us apart and then brings us back together again for makeup sex. May none of us ever end up hooked up with a Lorena Bobbitt or an OJ Simpson or a Mary Winkler, and may I never again see that crazy person behind the curtain pulling the levers to keep the illusion going.

I am Oz, the great and powerful!

You have read this article alcohol / domestic violence / lies / logic / madness / men / propaganda / rape / sexual assault / truth / women with the title January 2010. You can bookmark this page URL Thanks!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

I have been sitting down at this computer week after week, night after night, for hours at a time, trying to take the ideas in my head and put them down here for my blog. Night after night something prevents me from completing a single post. Either the CPU is spinning at 100 percent for no damn reason, or the web browser is giving me fits, or Google just won't seem to find what I'm searching for even though I had it earlier that same day, or I'm distracted by something while I'm trying to write. It's always something. So this time I'm trying to just sit here and fling out whatever is in my head with less documentation, less Googling for supporting data or photos, and a willingness to kill any process, even if it's the damn virus scanner, that gets in my way. Look out, Blog, because I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Fucking PC! Fucking Microsoft! Fucking Google! AAAAAAUUUUGHHH!!! 

OK, I feel better. And now, as I calm myself, something has just popped up on the television that has both captured my attention and inspired me about what I want to write. Shazaam!

Tyra Banks

In the past I have slammed on Tyra Banks for various things she has said and done, such as when she said she was a domestic violence victim because she once dated a guy who put her down and made her feel bad with the things he said. But today I found out that she has done something that deserves as much praise as I can come up with. So I'm going to eat my words and all the bad things I've said about her. Apparently in October of last year, Tyra did an entire show on male victims of domestic abuse. She had women on who admit to beating on their men whenever they feel like it and she had men who had been abused or were still being abused. That may not seem like a big deal considering that everyone with a TV show has done this with abused women, but the feminist backlash against her for acknowledging abused men, which our very own President, Vice President, U.S. Senate, Federal Law, Department of Justice, Supreme Court, and all the politically correct colleges and universities, refuse to allow anyone to discuss or acknowledge in any way, is huge. I take it all back, every bad thing I said. I will even get on my knees and kiss her ass if she wants me to. This was really cool of her to do.

Mary J Blige, one week after opening a women's only "domestic violence shelter" in New York, because American law only recognizes women as victims, violently shoved a man aside and punched her husband in the face at a party in front of hundreds of witnesses in a fit of "I own you" jealous rage. She then began screaming at her Domestic Violence Victim husband that he had better not "Chris Brown" her and hit her back, somehow missing the irony in the fact that she is the Chris Brown of their relationship. Unless Rihanna threw the first punch, too. Whatever the case, New York's DV Police and DV Prosecutor have made absolutely no effort to arrest her, and have not even issued a warrant for her arrest. No one is holding their breath waiting for the arrest, though, as Elin Woods has similarly not been arrested or charged. And then there's the injustice of husband-murderer Mary Winkler, and countless others just like her, still burning fresh in everyone's mind.

After the apparent hypocrisy of the husband battering incident began circulating on the internet, Mary J's rep began insisting that it was all a lie and she had only slapped him. Then, realizing that slapping him was still domestic violence, the story changed again and it was insisted that Mary J was very nobly trying to stop a fight between her husband and her brother.

Despite New York being at the heart of the misandric feminist capital of the world, the mandatory arrest for domestic violence, mandatory prosecution to the fullest extent of the law, feminist holy land, no attempt has been made to arrest Mary J. Blige. No charges have been filed or pursued by the Prosecutor's office. Nothing at all has been done about this.

Not one of Mary J. Blige's sponsors has dropped her as their representative despite the fact that she is a violent spouse abuser and worst kind of hypocrite.


New York Democrat state senator, Hiram Monserrate, dragged his girlfriend through a lobby before throwing her to the floor. He was quickly arrested for domestic violence even though he and the woman do not have a domestic relationship. The National Organization for Women and the Democratic Party called for his immediate resignation, no trial needed. Since then, he has been convicted. “The Senate chamber is no place for those who inflict violence on women,” said Senator Brian X. Foley, a Suffolk County Democrat. “For the sake of the New York State Senate, I sincerely hope Senator Monserrate will heed my call and resign immediately. The consequence of his refusal to do so will be a forced expulsion from the Senate.” New York is, on the other hand, just the place for violence against men. Just ask Mary J. Blige.

Charlie Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller, were recently doing cocaine all night long and into the early morning hours when, predictably, they started going apeshit crazy and beating on each other. At some point, Mr. Sheen is alleged to have pulled a knife and threatened Brooke with it, which is a felony. Police arrived and arrested Charlie for domestic violence. The couple was believed to be divorcing at this point. A judge ordered them to stay away from each other until Charlie's trial has concluded.

Several of Mr. Sheen's sponsors, including Haynes underwear, have dropped him as their spokesman as a result of his arrest.

So good together.
So bad together

Rumor has it that Brooke was anxious to get back together as quickly as possible and the couple were seen together at a restaurant just this week.

One day you'll cheat on me
And I'll take a 9 iron to your face

Tiger Woods' infidelity to his wife, Elin, is widely known, as is his car accident after she confronted him about it. What is not as well known is that Elin Woods is alleged to have nailed Tiger in the face with the golf club that she chased him out of the house and smashed the windows of his Cadillac Escalde with, breaking 2 teeth and his cheek. The reason Tiger crashed, lay on the ground in near unconciousness, and was not available to speak with police for several days after, is because Elin hurt him so badly that he had to be taken to a surgeon and was trying to hide the extent of the damage. To put it bluntly, she nearly took his head off. Elin has not been arrested or charged with domestic violence, as the police never got a chance to see what had happened and the Woods' attorneys circled the wagons as quickly as possible.

Apparently in response to female anger at Tiger Woods for cheating on his wife, and despite the fact that he is a victim of domestic violence, several of Tiger Woods' sponsors have dropped him as their spokesman.

Those French fuckers

The French government has just made it a criminal domestic-violence-related offense for a man to shout at or insult his wife. The law is expected to cover every kind of insult including repeated rude remarks about a partner's appearance. I am not making this up. In standard feminist fashion, words have been redefined in order to make them mean things which they do not mean, but which make cherished dogma seemingly truthful and sane. France has deemed it "psychological violence" for a man to criticize or insult his wife. The fact that there simply is no "violence" involved is irrelevant. The dogma is all that matters. Oh sure, the law is written to say that it goes both ways. A wife can also be arrested and charged for the same offense. But as Mary J Blige has reminded us, that isn't how its going to work.

You gonna Chris Brown me?

Mary J Blige and other celebrities including 50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean, actor Tyler Perry have all been accused of ordering steroids or human growth hormone from doctors and pharmacists. Blige is vehemently denying ever having used a performance-enhancing drug. Albany County District Attorney David Soares named all of the above celebrities who are named in the investigation. Mary J's representative, now quite accustomed to issuing denials, insists that Mary J. Blige has never taken steroids and is simply naturally very thickly muscled like a bodybuilder or football player.

Perhaps the steroids might explain the uncontrolled rage that resulted in her punching her husband dead in the face in front of a crowd of witnesses and then screaming hysterically at him issuing a challenge to hit her back like Chris Brown?

But, of course, she never took any steroids and also never hit anyone. She's an angel, just like Mary Winkler.

Mary Mary quite contrary

You know what? I think I'm going to write Tyra Banks a letter saying "thanks" for having the courage to do that episode on her show. I hear the show is ending soon. It seems almost a shame it's ending now that I've discovered that she really does sometimes have something important to say. Maybe I'll send her some flowers, too.

Thanks, that was really cool of you.

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Ultimate Blonde Joke

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'
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It's my turn to post at The Stache.

You have read this article burt reynolds mustache with the title January 2010. You can bookmark this page URL Thanks!
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