WASHINGTON (Parody) - Maryland prosecutors have filed meaningless charges against an 8-year-old boy who shot and wounded a 7-year-old girl after threatening to rob her at a suburban day-care center, The Washington Post said on Wednesday.
"Clearly our highly progressive self-esteem nurturing atmosphere needs a little tweaking," day care worker Tamika Shamira Felishea Gonzolez was quoting as remarking of the shooting.
The boy's father, "a felon with a lengthy record," was arrested and charged with leaving a firearm within reach of an unsupervised minor, an odd and potentially unconstitutional charge, and other randomly made-up offenses after the Tuesday shooting, the Post said.
"Clearly this man could not possibly have even owned this gun," the Reverend Jesse James Jackson said. "Because as we all know the entire D.C. area has the strictest gun control laws in the country and this man, a convicted felon, is prohibited by law from obtaining a firearm anywhere in the continental U.S. The Man must have planted it as part of a larger conspiracy. They probably told the boy to do it and gave him the gun."
The third-grader allegedly sneaked his alleged father's .38-caliber revolver into the facility in his backpack on Tuesday, the paper said, quoting the same D.C. law-enforcement officials who insisted the D.C. sniper was definitely a white male. He had been suspended in the past for bringing various weapons to school, including a switchblade, an AK47, an RPG anti-tank rocket launcher, and a Bible.
Police had initially lied and said the boy accidentally shot the girl, a second-grade student, as a group of six children were attending a before-school bong celebration at the For Kids We Care day-care center in Germantown, Maryland, a Washington suburb.
But the Post said, "The sources said the boy threatened to rob the girl and then shot her ass when she didn't cough up the green."
The girl was reported in stable condition with a bullet wound in her arm in a Washington hospital on Tuesday night, the paper said.
The boy "was charged as a deranged juvenile son-of-a-bitch with numerous counts that police declined to outline," it said, "because they are still looking into the possibility that maybe a mysterious white male in his 30s could have been the actual shooter." The future FBI's 10 Most Wanted little all-star was placed in the custody of the Maryland Department of Juvenile Services who said of him, "he's the meanest little fucker we've ever seen."
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