The Benefits of Being Tiny

It's raining and nasty today and the Memphis roads are filled with potholes, courtesy of our recent ice storm. The potholes are a kind of lottery around here. There is the hope that whomever wins the bid for the repaving job will be good. And then there is the risk that the contract will be awarded to Mayor Herenton's brother-in-law again, or some other crooked and incompetent loser/campaign contributor, who will then make the road worse than it was before, as did in fact occur on the backside of Shelby Farms at Trinity and again in front of the fire station on Sanga Road. Yes, the road was rough, but not half as rough as it was after they repaved it. Ah nepotism.



And now, the benefits of being tiny



1) I watched the Lexus in front of me desperately trying to dodge the potholes in the rain this morning, but no matter how he swerved it never failed that at least one of his wheels fell in somewhere. Me, being in a tiny minitruck, seemed to be the perfect size to manuver right between them all. And the ironic part is, my tires are going to need replacing soon anyway and when that time comes I'm swapping out my wheels too. So it wouldn't really matter if I busted one in a hole. The Mercedes, Cadillacs and 7 series BMWs were similarly frustrated in their attempts to dodge the Memphis holes, being the perfect size to hit them all.



2) Some of my coworkers are exceedingly lousy drivers. This being the case it should come as no surprise that they are likewise exceedingly lousy parkers. They frequently park half in one space and half in another, usually crooked. When I come in to work I find excellent spaces that no one has dared squeeze their lovely cars into due to the lack of room and fear of door dings. I don't worry about it. I just squeeze right on in. As long as I can fit all 4 of my tires between the lines I'll gladly take the space. My truck is so small that it generally isn't a problem for either of us. Sure, sometimes the lousiest of drivers will get mad and nail my truck with their door, just for spite. But with the lack of room they can never get enough momentum up to do much damage. And in case it isn't clear by now, I really don't care either way. The truck had door dings when I bought it. I'm not going to cry.



3) I don't have electric windows, but I can lean over and roll down the passenger window or unlock the passenger door without having to unbuckle my seatbelt. In fact, there is virtually no space inside the truck that I can't reach from the driver's seat.



4) I don't need a thumpin' stereo. The speakers in the doors are so close to my ears they're practically headphones.



5) I get a zillion miles per gallon.

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