Oh hell, yes I will. These are my own thoughts anyway, right?
It shows that I am valuable if my own employer thinks highly enough of me to send me to this training rather than for me to have to take it on my own time and pay for it, too. Plus, I can put it on my resume since I did it at work. Bonus.
And all I really want is to work with this skill. I am not dying to leap out of this company and go to another Memphis corporation. Although, our retirement plan sucks and our health benefits are dogshit. But that is increasingly universal, or so they tell me (ignoring the fact that my 401k which I left at my previous employer is still making tons of money for me even without any additional contributions for the past 2 years whereas my 401k here sucks alcohol-soaked tampons.)
Here is some of my stress:
Should I just drop the class and be done with it or try to get into another class, less vital to my career, but still useful? I have to decide RIGHT NOW before the deadline.
I set a lower limit on my Travelzoo stock, which appears to be overpriced and in a steady prolonged decline. It hit that limit lickitty split and sold all my shares. It was easy money, but knowing my history with the stock market chances are that because I sold it will now skyrocket. In fact, the best way for me to predict the future in regard to the stock market is to buy or sell something. If I buy then it drops 10 points within a week. If I sell it does the opposite. (I should do puts and calls based on this and get some money out of it.)
Well, often when I sell it is headed to the toilet and continues to flush, but I am just waiting to see this damn thing fly because I didn't want to sell it, I just set this limit as a precaution based on my own observations and it hit it and sold automatically. I guess if I look at the last time I sold from a limit I can't say my selling is a problem. Redhat was a turd then and it is a turd now. But even so I am stressed because I sold my Travelzoo stock.
Our company merger is almost done and the uncertainty of future job situations continually hangs overhead.
The entire market and economy is all up in the air, with no clear indicators of what the hell it is likely to do. So how do I plan? This isn't roulette. I'm not just going to throw money out there and hope it hits red 13. I need some clear indicators before I invest. This is not a game.
My workouts are just going OK, but I reinjured my wrist, which is a huge obstacle that has repeatedly plagued my progress for the past 15 years or more. My gym membership is up for renewal and 3 new gyms are opening in My Little Redneck Town. But My Former Team Lead owns my current gym. Leaving might not be a good career move if it makes him mad.
Also, My Little Redneck Town has a history of lemmingitus, whose advanced symptoms include bankruptcy. This is to say, every time someone opens a new and original business in this town, like the only gym for example, 50 more open up just like it and then they all go bust. When we first moved out here it was antique shops. Next it was hair and nail salons. Then ministorages. Now gyms.
The predictions were that My Little Redneck Town was going to explode populationwise. Well, it did grow substantially, but that growth has really pretty much stopped and all these excess businesses keep finding this out the hard way. Add to this the lunatic Mayor of Memphis and his latest Louis XIV-style games and you get people flooding out to Fayette County and down to Mississippi. So this town is probably going to shrink in population soon, not grow.
All of this means, if I leave My Former Team Lead's gym and join a new gym who is to say if that gym is going to make it or go bust? The gym I'm in now is solid. No frills, but it has what I need. I just wish it were closer to my house.
Next stress is My Wife. Her job is not good. A crazy menopausal woman is somewhere up in the ranks above her boss and micromanaging the living crap out of them all. So she comes home upset every day and pours it out on me. And I can't do anything about it except help her find a new job. But when I do she doesn't move on it. She is discouraged to the point of just sitting down and giving up, which I fully understand, but it doesn't help the situation.
I helped My Wife get a job here. So when lunchtime comes I am torn between eating with her and eating with My New Team Lead and My Coworker. It is vital that I maintain all of these relationships so skipping out on lunch with my own team is a bad thing if I do it too often. But My Wife ends up eating alone if I don't eat with her. So every day I don't know which of them I am eating with. My Wife can't plan and I can't plan. Yesterday she and I agreed we'd eat out for lunch today, but just now My New Team Lead invited me to eat with him and My Coworker. I need to go so I had to cancel with My Wife. She is very hungry and has been waiting for my answer for an hour. This is bad and eventually I'm going to suffer from it one way or another.
I am backup support for a large and complex application. Actually I am backup support for several large and complex applications, but for one that is particularly important the lead support guy left the country for 2 weeks, leaving me to handle it alone. He just upgraded and changed the entire system so most of what I learned no longer applies. I have my notes, but if something in my notes turns out to be wrong there is no way to reach him. This could be very, very bad.
I feel like crap today. I can't get up and going. It doesn't matter how much coffee I drink and pee out, I am just dying. I don't know why.
Something I can't pinpoint is just building up inside me. I don't know what exactly it is so I don't know what exactly I can do about it. I am just stressing and stressing. Nothing seems right.
You have read this article with the title Blowing a Gasket. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2005/01/blowing-gasket.html. Thanks!
