A Fool And His Money

A few days ago I was blabbing, er I mean, blogging, about how I was buying eBay and anyone who didn't want to buy eBay should buy Google, I mean, Yahoo. Well, I bought some eBay and was surprised when it didn't just totally tank on me, this being the normal market reaction to anything I buy. So I bought more. Everything seemed OK. Then I decided to take money I really couldn't afford to part with and buy Google, I mean, Yahoo. So I typed in the order for Google, I mean, Yahoo, and I waited. The market was already closed. Damn. It was a 'day only' order so I figured that was the end of it.



It wasn't.



Monday morning I check my account and I have a couple of shares of Google. I mean Google. What the hell?



I check my account history and there as plain as day is my order for Google. "But I didn't order any Google. I was ordering Yahoo."



But I typed 'Google' instead of Yahoo. Apparently the guys taking my order apparently weren't smart enough to read my mind like Patricia Arquette in her new show 'Medium' so they didn't realize that I meant Yahoo.



OK. So now I have a few shares of Google. And I do mean 'a few.' You could buy a lot of Yahoo for the price of a single share of Google. Anyway, I was pissed, as you might imagine. And it was my own stupid fault, which just made me even madder. So I sat and brooded all day long while I was in class at work.



Come later that night and I find that Google released their earnings report and blew away all expectations. Yahoo! I mean, Google! I was making money and I didn't even mean to! The stock went up like a rocket after trading hours were over thanks to those cheating after-hours bastards!



Never one to leave a good thing alone I put in an order for more of the overpriced, but now less overpriced than before stock late last night. This morning the order filled...



At the highest price of the whole damned day.



And then The Fed raised the interest rate.



And then an article came out commenting on how ridiculously high the Price To Earnings ratio on Google was, even after their newest earnings report.



And then it started to fall. And I sat and watched it go down and down and down.



And then the market closed. Oh thank God.



And then after hours bastards drove it down 7 more mother-fucking points!



See, whatever stock I buy, it just goes down like a rock. And once I had this figured out I thought I was safe. I'd just buy a little and if it tanked I wouldn't be out much. If not, I'd buy more. But the curse changed tactics on me. I can buy a little and the stock will go up, just to lure me in deeper. And then, when I buy more because I think it's safe to jump in, DIVE DIVE DIVE!!!! Down it goes. And this has worked on me twice in a row.



Oh, and eBay went down with it. HA HA HA! I'd laugh, but it isn't funny to me. That's why I'm telling you. Somebody has to get a laugh out of this.



So, since I have no money left to buy Yahoo I'm telling you, buy Yahoo. It's bound to move up. Whatever stock I recommend to other people and don't actually buy myself always goes up.

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