I haven't pooped yet today. Oh, I need to. And I will in a minute. But first I want to blog while I still can. I have a huge problem at work and it's getting worse. I'm struggling to figure it out, but it has to be resolved soon because it's escalating up to the top and once it hits there I'm under the gun for sure. It also doesn't look good for my boss if I don't get this figured out before the top man hears of it. Making your boss look bad is an unforgivable sin at most companies. I don't want to find out if it is at this one.
Halloween was fun. I enjoyed racing around dressed as a giant cardboard PacMan ghost. I got stuck being the pink one on one occasion, but I made the most of it and nailed PacMan to the wall. I actually ran into him much harder than I intended, but I had a long running start and I wasn't sure if I was going to catch him. I did and he said "Owww, crap!" Sorry.
Most of my video of the whole thing is crap. That's what I was afraid of. There just wasn't anywhere I could get to have a good vantage point. So all the video is nearly at eye level. You can't see around whichever PacMan character is directly in front of you so you can't tell much. My Wife didn't even laugh while she watched it.
It's misting outside. Even so the cats were glad to finally get out of the house. We kept them in all day on Halloween. They escaped when I got home from work and I had to go after them. Cat wrangling is a skilled art and I am skilled at it. I managed to capture the wild and clawful Little Girl first. She's the solid black cat and I desperately did not want her out on Halloween night. I had to stalk her around the yard, talking reassuringly all the while, like a cop trying to sucker a victim, I mean, a suspect into trusting him right before he hits him with the taser and smashes his teeth onto the asphalt. Last night on ... some cop show about two police negotiators the SWAT guys calmly put cuffs on this black guy with a gun in a hospital. I was going "Bullshit, they smash the guy's face into the floor and put their knee on his neck when they do that." But hey, it was TV, where white men commit all the crimes and lesbians are fun.
So anyway, I stalked my Little Girl cat until I managed to get a hand on her. I pressed her down and started to pick her up. She hissed and slipped away. I stalked her some more. I got a hand on her again and petted her. Then I slowly pulled her into me, squeezing her like Charmin against my chest. Oh, I have scars today. Yes, I do. She clawed from all four ends. But I got her inside. Then I had to go after Booger Bear.
Booger was easy. He was sitting by the butterfly bush right beside me when I catnapped the Little Girl. He saw the whole thing. Yet he was still sitting there when I came out for him. And he didn't fight much when I picked him up. I know he's a mellow cat, but I think his arthritis has really made life hard on him. He hissed a little, but mostly he just let me take him in. He likes attention of most any kind, even if it means being catnapped into the house before he's had a chance to go poop.
Which reminds me, I need to go poop.
My Wife emailed me the following article. They say Ben Stein said this. I don't think he did, but whatever. Read it anyway and tell me what you think. - Steve
If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.
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The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary
Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?
I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.
Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.
Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don' t feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.
But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.
And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about and we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. (See, this is another reason I don't think this has anything to do with Ben Stein. Why would he say anything about forwarding his monologue, eh?)
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
One day I may be credited with this whole article, including the Ben Stein thing and the Billy Graham's daughter thing. The internet is funny that way. Perhaps one day my own kids will be reading in history and it'll say "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself" - Memphis Steve
That would be funny.
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