Elisabeth was blogging about her NASCAR racing redneck neighbor and got me to thinking about several of my own lovely NASCAR neighbors. Once I started coming up with these I just couldn't stop. So here they are:
If you make less than $60k per year and yet somehow manage to spend over $100k building a racecar ... you might be a redneck.
If you know how to index a spark plug but have no clue what an index fund is ... you might be a redneck.
If you have invested more money under the hood of your car than in your house ... you might be a redneck.
If you own a car trailer that is bigger than your garage ... you might be a redneck.
If you have the number of your favorite NASCAR driver painted on the side of your truck, and it's the only paint on the truck ... you might be a redneck
If you know all about the life of Dale Earnhardt, but have never heard of Dale Carnegie ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever put a racing muffler on your lawnmower ... you might be a redneck.
If you wear black every year on the anniversary of the death of Dale Earnhardt ... you might be a redneck.
If you work at a job where everyone gets a holiday for the annual NASCAR races in Talladega, Alabama ... you might be a redneck.
If you can name 12 NASCAR drivers, but can't name the 12 Apostles of Jesus ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever named a child after a NASCAR driver ... you might be a redneck.
If you considered becoming an mechanical engineer just so you could build a better monster truck ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever used a fence tightener and a tree to pull a dent out of your car ... you might be a redneck.
If you have every single episode of the Dukes of Hazzard on video which you recorded off the TV ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever installed a turbo muffler on your wife's car even after she asked you not to ... you might be a redneck.
If you own more tools than books ... you might be a redneck.
If the only books you own are about hotrodding cars ... you might be a redneck.
If Hot Rod Magazine is the only thing you have read in the past year ... you might be a redneck.
If you make friends and enemies based on the manufacturer of their car ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever skipped a wedding to watch NASCAR on TV ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever been injured by a flying part from a racecar ... you might be a redneck.
If your backyard has more car parts than grass ... you might be a redneck.
If you have ever asked an attractive female neighbor to accompany you to the NASCAR races in Talladega, Alabama for a date ... you might be a redneck.
You have read this article with the title NASCAR Rednecks - with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2005/04/nascar-rednecks-with-apologies-to-jeff.html. Thanks!
