I bought a new Dell computer for my wife. Dell offered a 3 months no interest payment plan so I took it. Now that I’m trying to make a payment I find that they don’t want my money. They sent me a sort of Dell credit card. They set me up an account online. They offer me phone numbers to call. But just try to make a payment.
Forget about it.
They never sent me an actual bill. I tried to call them and get them to send one. No luck. So I called all the other numbers they gave me. The only payment option they offer is for me to give them direct access to my bank account, which I will never do.
Is there a problem with cash, credit cards or checks? If so then we have a problem because I see no need for a computer manufacturer to be in my checking account at any time for any reason. And I work for an enormous financial corporation, much larger than the one Dell uses to handle its’ accounts.
I’ve called Dell’s financial services line several times. You can too if you want. It’s 1-877-577-3355 extension 7268970. No matter what extension you choose, though, you’re calling India and you’re going to get an Indian who swears to Vishnu that his name is Dennis.
“You don’t sound very much like a Dennis to me. Are you sure your name isn’t Sanjay? I have a friend named Sanjay and he talks exactly like you.”
“I sware. My name ees Din-nis. How may I ass-ssist you?”
"Dennis" will take you around in circles for a long time before transferring you to another number. The number he transfers you to is 1-800-663-3355. This just happens to be the wrong number and you will find this out after you have been informed by the operator that you are transferring from India to the United States and are about to be charged for an international call.
When you finally connect you’ll get an answering machine with a message informing you that “Dennis” has sent you to the wrong number. The correct number, which would keep you in India, is 1-877-663-3355. Dial this number yourself and you get more people named "Dennis." These Dennis’s will ask you for your social security number.
“I bought a fucking computer. I’m not filing my taxes here. Why do you need my social security number? I don’t think I even gave Dell that number. How would you find that useful if I never gave it to you?”
“I need your social sick-yuritee number, sir. For the see-stum.”
“All I want is for you guys to send me a bill that allows me to send you a payment because I am not going to give you access to my checking account and never agreed to that when I ordered the PC.”
“I need your social sick-yuritee number, sir.”
“No.”
“I cahn’t help you if you ..”
“That’s right. You apparently can’t help me.”
Click.
So I have this Dell computer. And it seems to run all right. But at some point I either have to find a way to send them some money or box it up and send it back. That is, unless my attorney tells me that my good faith attempts to pay are enough and now it is considered a gift.
Thanks Dennis.
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