Monday Morning, Wish I Were in Australia

I don't really have anything important to say this morning, same as most every morning. My stress levels are rising, as are My Wife's. I had strange dreams all night. I dreamed someone, and I can't remember who, loaned me their 1966 Chevelle hotrod and I was using it to move. I can't imaging why I'd do that, but that was the dream. Anyway, I was moving things from my parents' house, which is scary in that it seems to indicate I may have been living at home. While I was putting stuff in the backseat and getting ready to leave, some Mexicans in a hotrodded Camaro pulled up.

I guess dreams aren't as creative as we'd like to think because both of our cars had similiar mono-colored paintjobs and the same rims. I think my car was red and theirs was blue, or something wild and revolutionary like that. Anyway, the cars were something straight off the cover of Hot Rod Magazine. Nice cars. When I pulled out to take the stuff I was moving to God knows where, I expected the Mexicans to come, too, and want to race. Generally, whatever I expect to happen when I'm dreaming does happen. But this time it didn't. They didn't follow me and we didn't race and nothing even remotely exciting happened. I was just driving around in this '66 Chevelle with stuff in the back seat. Yay! So thrilling. But it did make me think about the fact that I haven't done much of anything with my own Chevelle in a long time.

Did you know that when you buy a load of boxes to use for packing that they often come with spiders? Yes, it's true, and the spiders are free! You don't even have to pay for them. My Wife is thrilled about that.

fences make good neighbors
Fences make good neighbors

My former neighbor, Yo G, the one the police say was responsible for trying to murder me through vandalism of my vehicles for 6 straight years, the one who moved out of his parents house about a year ago for the first time, is apparently back.

The timing is interesting. But before I explain why, let me fill you in on a little background.

Several years ago, Yo G broke into another neighbor's house, the house of Tina the Yankee Nurse. He stole jewelry and things, or so I was told. Tina caught him and pressed charges. Yo G was found guilty and sentenced to 5 years in Shelby County Correctional. He served approximately 2 months before magically coming home again, without any explanation. Hmmmm.

After this odd magic trick, Yo G seemed to become much like The Fireman's son and his criminal friends, in that he was untouchable by The Law. He could do as he pleased and would not get into any trouble.

"You fucked up when you messed with me. You don't know who I am!" is how it was explained to me. But in that case, the case of The Fireman's son and his friends, it was simply their relationship with The Fireman that gave them immunity. Following that criminal period in Redneckville, the Chief and the Captain of Police were fired. Things changed. Immunity such as that seemed to be less common and supposedly some of The Fireman's son's friends and possibly the son himself went to jail, or so I was told.

mohawk
You fucked up when you messed with me!

So, getting back to Yo G, he is suddenly home at his parents' house again. There was no moving van and no indication of what had occurred. He was just suddenly back.

Yo G has allegedly sold drugs for years and years. I have seen what I believe to be deals taking place right in front of me many times, although I never reported it. I did ask The Captain about it, when we talked once. His response was that they simply could not catch him. I thought this odd, as I could so easily catch him if I wanted to. I did not believe him.

Then I thought about the odd situation of his 5 year sentence which suddenly ended after 2 months. I mean, this boy was treated better than Paris Hilton. What's the deal?

Hmm, the deal. I think I'm onto something.

Last week, at Shelby Farms, a huge park on the East side of Memphis, there was a massive arrest of drug dealers and buyers. It was a huge operation, netting a large crowd of Memphis' finest party animals. They were all taken off to jail.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, Yo G reappears, home again.

I'm not speculating on this any further. But when I was in college a cop friend of mine, whom I was supposed to follow into the Academy after I graduated, had asked me to help him catch crooks by posing as this or that. I know a little about how that game is played. I'm no expert. But I think I know how Yo G got out of jail so fast and I think I know why he is home again while so many others are in jail right now. Just sayin'.

So anyway, we are packing boxes and trying to figure out where in the world to put them. I'm looking forward to living in The Boondocks. My Wife is more excited about the idea now, too. But it is always stressful prior to being all settled in. She hates this sort of thing.

Just the other night, I suggested that we should move to Texas. She said "I don't want to move again!" But I could see that she was thinking about it.

And then, just last night, as we were getting into bed, I suggested that we should seriously look into moving to Australia. Before she could answer, I said, "no matter where you live in Australia, you are never more than 30 minutes from a beach." She liked that idea. So do I.

bondi beach sydney
Anywhere, Australia

Did you know that Australians don't know what a pickup truck is? Either that, or they were just jerking my chain.


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