We met in a cafe she likes. I arrived first, crashing my rented Mustang over a curb in my unfamiliarity with this particular Texas parking lot. I sat at a table all the way in the back, facing the door, anticipating the arrival of the most famous woman in Dallas, Texas.
I was wearing my standard computer geek uniform - Dockers pants and a polo shirt that was one size too large, causing it to hang on me like a sack, drooping the shoulders halfway down my arms. I was sporting my infamous bad haircut that I blogged about a few weeks ago. It may be ugly, but there isn't much I can do about it.
So there I was, geeked out and nervous, waiting for her arrival.
Finally, the Queen of Dallas walked in the door, her little buddy right behind her with a big smile on his face. He ran in ahead of her and did a few laps around the room. She entered with style. She owned that place. Maybe not on paper, but as far as anyone there was concerned, seeing her cross that room, you could tell it belonged to her.
She swept the room with her brilliant blue eyes until, at last, she rested them on me.
I smiled a goofy smile and waved like a dork. "Howdy howdy howdy! It's me! I'm a big dork! Here I am!"
I didn't say exactly those words, but it was something along those lines.
What I really wanted to do was to sit cooly, ever so nonchallantly noticing her, and then say, "How YOU doin'?" Instead, I practically joined the Little Man, running around the room with a happy grin, and saying "KamiKamiKamiKamiKami!"
Kami, of the Dallas Ks, strolled over to my table and sat down.
"So, you've got 3 minutes. Let's get this over with."
OK, that also is not exactly what was said.
"Are you Steve?" she asked me.
"Uh huh!" I blurted, in a cool, James Bond-like fashion. "uh huh, that's me!"
There was an awkward moment, where we tried to decide whether to hug or shake hands. We ended up shaking hands. I felt like an idiot.
I don't remember a word we said. But I remember her eyes. And I remember checking her out as she walked across the room to get a coffee.
"Woo, hot babe!" I quietly thought to myself. And then I quickly checked, "Did I say that out loud?" But no, I had kept it to myself.
I checked her out again as she returned with her coffee, walking towards me this time.
"Woo, hot ... hot day today, isn't it?" I cleverly recovered, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants legs.
"It's not so bad, really," Kami replied. "We've had a lot more rain than usual this year. It's been cool compared to most years at this time."
Kami will look at you for just a moment, long enough to make you nervous as you feel the coolness of those blue eyes, and then she casually looks to the side, as if you might be important, or you might be annoying her. It's up to you to decide which it will be.
In reality, she is keeping on eye on Nik, as a good mother will do. But she makes it look so darned sexy and cool. In fact, every move Kami makes seems sexy and cool. Nothing rattles her. Not one thing.
And as for her boy Nik, this boy is going to be a great photographer one day. He knows how to use a camera. He fully understands that to get a good photo you don't conserve film and hope your one try turns out. This boy shoots the whole roll, which is smart in this age of digital cameras. He's got passion, energy, and a hot mom to practice his modeling shots on who also happens to be an expert photographer herself.
While I breathed heavily in Kami's direction and attempted to speak intelligently, some other Dallas folk were attempting to reach me. Tammy and Michelle were alternately bombing me with text messages. I was trying my best to reply, but I am a slow texter, so it was difficult. It seems that I had once referred to Tammy as "Michelle's sister Tammy," differentiating Texas Tammy from Texas Tammi during a conversation, and this resulted in a bit of a rivalry. In short, I was running for my life from Tammy while sister Michelle laughed at me. And all of this was done via cellphone texting.
Quite extraordinary, really.
After an hour of talking and drinking caffeine, Kami had to go. Nik wanted to catch butterflies and there was soccer to get ready for. So I walked with her and her boy out into the parking lot. We talked about this and that while Nik ran through the grass, searching for his butterflies. Finally, we hugged, and said goodbye. I watched as she drove away. And I was sad to see her go.
I can't remember a single thing we talked about, and yet I wanted to talk forever. It isn't every day that you meet the Queen of Dallas. It's a moment to remember.
When it came time for me to get on my plane and fly home, it was as if more than just my heart didn't want me to go. The plane took forever to load with passengers. I watched as people shifted impatiently in their seats, wondering when the stewardesses were going to shut the doors and get us moving. People started switching seats, assuming no one else was coming onboard. Then the extra people came and the people who had changed seats had to shuffle around some more.
Finally, the stewardesses shut the doors and started telling us to put on our seatbelts. And then the plane shut off again. We sat there for awhile with no air circulating, in an odd silence. Suddenly, the captain came over the PA system, "We have a broken starter. We have to pull out of line and get it replaced. It'll be about a 45 minute delay."
30 minutes later, the captain came on the PA again, "we have a broken poop shoot ventilator. They're trying to find another one and see how fast they can get it here and install it. Please be patient."
OK, I don't remember what the part was, but it was something that had to be delivered. And all the while, Kami and Tammy and Michelle were texting me, "don't leave, you dork."
I was texting back, "Come get me off this plane. I don't want to go back to Memphis. I wanna be a cowboy."
But eventually they did fix the plane, and no one ever did come to get me off. So we screamed down the runway and took off for Memphis. I felt no joy in the knowledge that I was heading 'home'.
When we came to Memphis, the pilot flew us all over town, taking his time reaching the airport before finally landing. Perhaps he didn't want to be in Memphis either? Whatever the case, I felt almost sick when we touched down. It wasn't a bad landing. But my heart did not want to be here. It was still back in Texas.
Each day while I was in Texas, both in Forth Worth and in Dallas, I found a single penny lying somewhere on the ground, face up. The last one I found was a wheat penny.
On my return to Memphis, as I was standing in a crowd at the baggage return, I found another penny, lying on the floor unnoticed by anyone. It was face down.
I've never been overly superstitious, but if I were, I would think this means something.
I did not pick up the Memphis penny. I just stood and looked at it before walking away.
I don't belong here.
My heart is in Texas, where my family comes from, where they had always said one day we would return. And something tells me I just might belong there with it.
Hook'em horns
