I am so very sorry. I don't know why I do this every single time. First I asked you how things were in Georgia, all the while knowing you are in Florida. That was a few months ago, but I haven't forgotten.
Then I couldn't find your blog, even though it's in my own blogroll and I do read it, although not as regularly as I thought, apparently.
That's when I completely and totally blanked about the biggest thing in your life for the entire past freakin' year.
"Divorce? What divorce?"
And to add to all my sins, I mentioned that other guy. And that was so very recent.
I know you said it didn't matter. You said you were only joking about being upset. But clearly I took you from happy and bright to angry and hurt in 2 seconds flat. Good Lord, I work fast.
Because I am a stupid ass.
I have been so tired lately. I can't seem to keep up with anything or anyone. I can't keep up with my own life, let alone all the people around me. I recently asked a coworker a completely stupid question about his new house. It wasn't his house. It was another coworker's house. He just looked at me like I was on crack. "What are you talking about?"
"Um, clearly I have no idea."
I know this whole house-hunting thing has worn on me. It's been three years of hunting. And sure as hell, all the packing of boxes isn't letting me rest any when I get home. But that's not it.
My new workouts don't seem to be making me anything but tired. But that's not it, either. I have always worked out, not that anyone could tell, but I have never felt like this.
My job is all new people and a whole new language, but I don't know if that's it or not. I don't think so. The trip to Texas was great, but it wore me down just a little bit more. And it wasn't the traveling to Texas that made me tired. It was the coming back to Memphis. I felt a weight on my shoulders the minute the plane began to take off. And oh, when we crossed that damn river into the steaming air above the city, I felt like screaming, "Nooooooooooooooo." It was like crossing the river Styx.
I wake up feeling like I haven't even been to bed. It's every day now. It's week after week of waking up with my head on the floor and just dragging myself into the shower thinking, "what is it all for and where am I going? Who shot me while I was in bed? Did I die in my sleep and just forget to walk into the light?"
There is no coffee strong enough to revive this. There is no exercise strenuous enough to muscle it away. There is no overpriced workout supplement loaded with enough protein or creatine or Nitric oxide perpetual pump you up, you girlie man with flabby abs, to make this fatigue finally end.
And I don't even know just exactly what it is that is wrong. But I know that I added to your pain, as if you needed any more of that. And for that, I am so very sorry.
My name is Memphis. I am not a gay webcam nudist, but I am apparently an ass.
You have read this article ass /
idiot /
tired
with the title Because I Am An Ass. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2007/06/because-i-am-ass.html. Thanks!
