You Are A Child of the '80s If ...

You can remember anyone ever calling you and saying, "Dude, guess where I'm calling you from!"

You can remember when the Mazda RX7 was the COOLEST CAR IN THE WORLD!

You have ever owned and probably still own a Members Only jacket.

You remember when Mtv was brand new and played music videos.

You used to put mousse in your hair to make it stick up and be as big as possible (country music fans are disqualified from this one.)

You can remember the IROC Camaro.

You can remember the Mustang SVO.

You ever knew anyone who drove a Chrysler LeBaron convertible with a turbo.

You remember seeing brand new turbocharged cars sitting on the side of the highway in a blazing inferno while the owners stood helplessly by and watched their investment go up in flames.

You have recently noticed high school kids wearing polo shirts with the collar up and you said, "hey, we used to do that!"

You ever asked for your hair to be cut with "wings, feathered back" (think waaaaay back.)

You know Robin Williams from "Mork and Mindy."

You remember when Troy Aikman was a rookie and Jerry Jones had just bought the Dallas Cowboys and rudely fired Tom Landry.

You remember watching "Charlie's Angels" when it was new.

You remember the ugliest Camaro ever, the 1982 model.

You know Nicholas Cage from the movie "Valley Girl"

Every time you watch the show "2 1/2 Men" you look at Charlie's brother, Allen, and think of the movie "Pretty In Pink"

You see ads for Anthony Michael Hall and his show "The Dead Zone" and think of "16 Candles"

You totally forgot about Molly Ringwald until just now.

You now have the urge to watch "16 Candles" again.

When you do you're going to see John Cusack and say "Holy shit, I forgot he was in this movie!"

You never understood the line "nobody puts Baby in a corner," but you know where it's from.

You knew Patrick Swayze had a brother and you recognize him every time you see him. Even so, you have no idea what his name is.

You knew Sylvester Stallone had a brother, but you wouldn't know him if he walked up to you and said "Hi." Again, no clue what his name is.

You vaguely recall an episode of the "Dukes of Hazzard" which starred a tiny little woman who talked exactly like Dolly Parton. You later discovered that it was her sister.

You remember Mr. T, the A Team, their stupid van, and the slogan "I love it when a plan comes together."

You know who said "I pity the fool!"

You remember when "bling" was referred to as "the Mr T look."

You see "Battlestar Galactica" listed on the Sci Fi channel and flip to it briefly, only to discover that it's a remake.

"Come and knock on our door ... someone's waiting for you ..." You remember "jiggle television" and those tight, tight clothes with no underwear.

You remember "Boss, de plane, de plane!"

You remember "Hee Haw"

You know Tom Hanks from "Bosom Buddies," you remember the "other guy", and you knew that Dan Akroyd married the super hot busty blonde on the show.

You remember Mr Hooper and Maria on "Sesame Street"

You remember "The Electric Company", "Captain Kangaroo", "Mister Rogers", and "Zoom!"

You remember the Delorean.

You wore Izod when it was cool.

You had a mullet, but weren't a redneck or a lesbian.

You remember Beta VCRs.

You remember when the CD was brand new.

If you lived in my hometown you remember seeing Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire playing AA baseball for the same team and you never, ever parked behind the NTW because it was across the street from left field and everyone was sure they were hitting cars over there. Man, they could knock the shit out of that ball like nobody else! You also remember seeing Ricky Henderson stealing bases there.

You remember watching "Magnum PI" and you were convinced Higgins was gay.

You remember the rumors that the lead singer of the heavy metal band, Judas Priest, was gay. You also remember when it turned out to be true.

You have some vague memory of when Ronald Reagan was president, but barely remember George Bush Sr. at all. If not for the Gulf War you probably would think Bill Clinton was elected immediately after Reagan retired.

You remember when Richard Simmons was brand new, but just as gay. The man has not slowed down one bit in all these years.

You remember when Liberace died.

You remember when Rock Hudson was on "Knotts Landing" looking horrible and was then diagnosed with AIDS.

You remember when no one knew what AIDS was.

You remember when people would say "that's GAY" and not get fired or sent to rehab for committing a thought crime.

You remember when there was no such thing as thought crimes or political correctness in America and almost no one ever imagined that it could even happen here.

You once thought Eddie Van Halen was cool.

You once thought, but will now never admit, that David Lee Roth was cool. Years later you saw him pushing his Vegas act on talk shows and were shocked at what a huge dork he was.

You watched "Baywatch" when it was brand new and saw Pamela Anderson rise to the heights of fame before mysteriously hooking up what that nasty dork Tommy Lee from Motley Crue and getting Hepatitis.

You remember Pamela Anderson before she had implants.

You remember when almost no one in Playboy had implants.

Hell, you remember when almost no one at all had implants!

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