TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone?
Maybe 10. I didn't start using this phone until recently. I hardly ever use it.
Number of contacts in your email address book?
At least 100, probably including you
What is the wallpaper on your computer?
A photo of Mt McKinley reflecting in the lake up in Alaska (I'm at work)
What is your screensaver on your computer?
Windows XP pro
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
On my computer at home? Um ..... maybe. You've all seen my bare naked ass before, right? But on my computer here at work? No way.
How many landline phones do you have in your home?
3
How many televisions are in your home?
4, but one is being used for something else
What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
Ice cream maker
What is the format of the radio station you listen to most?
Rock FM station in Memphis
BI-OLOGY
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
12 inch penis
Are you right handed or left handed?
Yes
Have you had anything removed from your body?
wisdom teeth
Would you like to?
Other than excess fat I can't think of a part I'd like to get rid of.
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Sight, by a longshot
When was the last time you had a cavity?
Um, some years ago. Can't remember.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
Uh, recycle bin? Weights in the garage? My own ass?
MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you like to know the day you're going to die?
I don't see how it could help. I mean, it depends on how specific the answer is. If you tell me "you'll die on a Thursday" that doesn't really help me. It just makes all Thursdays stressful.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Viagra Cialis
How do you express your artistic side?
Write shit on my blog and randomly photograph things
What color do you think you look best in?
Brown, red, or black, according to My Wife, although some people say I look good in clear (you pervs)
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
Just long enough to get thrown into a maximum security prison. You fuckers don't know who you're dealing with!
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Some of the lunches I had when I was in school would probably qualify. Also, a meal I once had a TGIF's was pretty close to a non-food item.
If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
Is Carmen Electra related to me? If not then probably no.
How often do you go to church?
Less often than Billy Graham, but more often than Hugh Hefner.
Have you ever saved someone's life?
I have no idea. I've helped people at car wrecks who were hurt. I guess if no one else had stopped or called for help either then they might've died. Who can say?
Has someone ever saved yours?
In some ways my ex-fiancee saved my life, but I never told her.
DARE-OLOGY
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
I guess so, but no one would care. Well, no one except the IRS. And the cops.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
It would depend on how badly I needed the money, what kind of kiss it had to be, who it was, and whether I was sober. I'd peck Johnny Depp for $100, but I'd still wipe my mouth after. No offense, Johnny. And no tongues!
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
No, I believe not. That would hurt like a mofo.
Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Maybe. Who would be enforcing this? I mean, would they be checking up to make sure I didn't just start a new blog? Yeah, I might. I just might.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Yes, but you'd have one hell of a time finding any magazine that wanted the pictures, especially at that price. Good luck with that, though. Let me know if someone comes up with the cash.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
It depends on how hot the sauce was, but maybe. It wouldn't do much good if it was so hot that it did more than $1000 worth of damage to me, you know?
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
It would depend on who it was. There are some people that I would, if there were no chance of punishment, kill for free. But for some others, I wouldn't do it for any amount of money. Show me the list of choices and let's see what we can work out here.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
I guess, if it were in cash and under the table. Who the hell would pay me that much to do it, though?
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
As long as I hadn't taken the $50,000 to give up blogging, yes I would.
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