Last December I wrote about my Brother-In-Law and his fat, white-trash wife. Some of you seemed to find the story interesting. You'll be pleased to know that there is an update.
My Brother-In-Law is in the navy. He has to spend 6 months out at sea from time-to-time. He used to be stationed up in New York. He was lonely in New York. He didn't like the New York girls. Later, he was moved to "rotten" Groton, Connecticut. He found the girls there to be even worse than in New York. The question you ask girls in Connecticut apparently isn't "are you single" but rather "are you straight"?
Feeling lonely and desperate, he turned to a coworker, who had a friend, who knew a girl down in South Georgia. My Brother-In-Law went and visited her. She was bleached blonde, fat, and very young. They dated for a short time and then he married her.
They barely knew each other.
At the wedding, I quickly noticed that almost all of her friends were either grossly overweight, or extremely made-up. As it turned out, most of them were beauticians. Think "Legally Blonde" and the women in the beauty parlor. That was basically her and her friends.
I was a groomsman, drafted to jump in at the last minute due to the preacher's Skank Whore Daughter throwing a tantrum and insisting that she be in the wedding of this girl she didn't know and also that her 3 illegitimate children (all by different random unknown fathers of different races whom she had never even dated, let alone married), also be in the wedding. The addition of the 400 lb Skank Whore Daughter made the number uneven and so they needed a groomsman to match up with SWD.
Throughout the wedding I was struck by how much like an episode of "Dukes of Hazzard" the whole place was. It was as if Lulu was marrying into the family, except without any of the money or pretty much anything else to offer that the Lulu of TV fame had on the show.
Nearly 2 years later, after Brother-In-Law had spent a great deal of time out at sea and My Wife had not seen him in all that time, after he had brought his new White Trash Wife, Lulu, up to Connecticut where she cried like a baby on the first day of kindergarten until he moved her back down to South Georgia, after he had bought her a nice, expensive house to live in all by herself with her momma so very close by, he was restationed to Seattle, Washington.
So it was that he was forced to put the house up for sale and move his pig, Lulu, and their dog pretty much all by himself, as Lulu couldn't be bothered with picking up one single thing and putting it into a box or suitcase or truck. Along the way they stopped in the hell that is Memphis to stay overnight with us for free. Brother-In-Law had already spent a fortune on moving and My Wife was VERY anxious to see him even if only for the night and following morning before he headed out again. When he arrived, as I wrote about before, Lulu was in full tantrum mode, determined to sabotage any possibility of My Wife and Her Brother getting to see each other and talk or even have a relaxing evening before hitting the road again the following morning.
Lulu had a truck and Brother-In-Law had a truck. It was necessary that they both be driven to the new home which Brother-In-Law had purchased at great expense for the two of them and their dog to live in. But Lulu, ever the lazy, fat, narcissistic child, refused to drive her own truck. She whined like a puppy needing to pee and insisted that someone else drive her truck while she sat on her fat ass with the dog and did what she always does, which is absolutely nothing. So Brother-In-Law's uncle, who was nearly killed in the World Trade Center attack, and lived in New York, had to drive Brother-In-Law's truck all the way from Connecticut to Washington state before returning all the way back to New York so he could go back to work. He had already helped Brother-In-Law moved from New York to Connecticut and then from Connecticut to Georgia. And now he was helping him move from Georgia to Washington while Lulu sat on her big, fat ass and whined and ate bon bons. Brother-In-Law was forced to drive that fat bitch's ugly truck from South Georgia to Washington State while she sat lump-like next to him eating candy and drinking cokes. Meanwhile, she denied her precious dog any food or even water for the entire trip.
So, while Brother-In-Law and Lulu the fat pig were at our house for the night, Lulu threw tantrums all night long, attempting to manipulate us into giving in to her self-indulgent will and allow her to bring the smelly dog inside our house and into our bed so Lulu could sleep with him. Lulu's idea of a dog is very much the same as the way a little child views their stuffed toys. She doesn't feed the dog or give him water and basically ignores him, but she loves how he wags his tail at her and so she hugs on him from her permanent seat on the couch and often sleeps with him. She believes that no matter whose house she's in she should be allowed to sleep in their beds with this large Labrador dog and hug on him all night long. Of course, she won't get up to let him out for him to pee and she won't give him any food or water. I had to give him something to drink when he arrived almost dead from dehydration.
Since we were not giving in to Lulu she simply increased her drama, having come from a part of the world where a bitch doing drama always wins and gets her way. She had never encountered a man who didn't cave in to this shit and so she didn't know what to do with me. The drama increased and increased until finally she and My Wife exchanged some words, and by 'some' I mean probably less than 5 each with no cursing and not much offensive being said. The gist of the exchange was "I'm going to be a bitch all night long until you give in" and My Wife replying "we're not going to put up with that in our home." This was enough for Lulu to declare that our home was simply unfit for them to stay in and demand that Brother-In-Law pay for them to go stay in a fine hotel that allows dogs to sleep in the beds. So off they went.
I already wrote about that before, as I said. But now there is new drama.
After moving to Washington and putting Lulu's fat ass back in her permanent seat on the couch in a new expensive home, Brother-In-Law was sent off to sea again. He left Lulu to take care of the bills, instructing her to use the money from the sale of their Georgia home to pay off his loan on his truck (which Lulu had wrecked as soon as they got to Washington) and his loan on his motorcycle. Then she was to use his paychecks to pay the bills on the new home. Lulu agreed and promised that she would do this.
But what Lulu did instead was quite different and rather interesting. Lulu did not pay off his truck and she did not pay off his motorcycle. She did consolidate those loans into one unpaid bill though. Then she took the money from the sale of the house and spent it. As of this writing, no one knows for sure what she spent it on, but we have a good idea. She also ran up $38,000 in credit card debt, and all from her seat on the couch. There is nothing in or around the house which appears to have been purchased with this money and so the big mystery is what the hell did Lulu do with all of this money?
When Brother-In-Law came home from his tour at sea, Lulu was bitchy and agitated and demanding that they go to counseling because things weren't working. Brother-In-Law was mystified, but agreed to go. During the counseling session Lulu informed him for the very first time, with the counselor present most likely as a witness in case he blew his top at her and did something that she could use against him in court to take the rest of his money, that she had not paid any of his bills and had in fact robbed him blind, ran up $38,000 in additional credit card debt, and ruined his credit rating.
The ruined credit rating and high debt, by the way, jeopardizes his career in the navy.
Brother-In-Law was shocked and apparently did not react as Lulu had hoped. So they went home. After thinking it over, though, Brother-In-Law apparently did finally grow a pair and told Lulu exactly what he thought of her and what she had done.
Well, Lulu is not accustomed to being spoken to harshly, don't you know? So when Brother-In-Law had to go to work, a long shift lasting 24 hours, Lulu called her momma and had her fly up, pack Lulu's shit, and drive all the way back to Georgia.
Yes, Lulu suddenly found the strength to drive her own damned truck all the way from Washington to Georgia without someone else doing it for her, assuming her fat momma didn't do all the work. And all because a man had finally stood up and told Lulu what he thought about the outrageous, destructive, and selfish things that she had done. Horrors!
Lulu will make a fine feminist one day.
Brother-In-Law returned home to find his prized pig gone home to Georgia. So he called and they had some telephone conversations, something which Lulu is quite good at as this is all she does all day and all night long. Somehow it came out that Lulu's mom had spent a considerable amount of money fixing up her home in deep south Georgia over the past few months. This was very interesting to Brother-In-Law, as he had observed while at this home that no one had made the slightest effort to fix, fix up, or even clean anything in that house for a great many years. It was in dire need of repairs. But now quite suddenly, and oddly coinciding with the disappearance of a considerable amount of his money, they had found a way to hire people to come and redo their entire home from top to bottom.
Brother-In-Law, now financially wrecked, was forced to sell his house in Washington and move into a very small place while he tried to begin the long and painstaking process of repairing his credit and paying off these enormous debts that Lulu helped to create.
Lulu, in the meantime, has announced that she is pregnant.
Can you say "child support"? I knew you could.
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