Thursday Things I Think About

1) You can't make someone write a book about their life, no matter how interesting it may be. All you can do is write your own book. Mine would be really boring and have a lot of grammatical errors.

2) You can't make someone interested in modeling no matter how pretty their face. And it's usually creepy to mention it to them anyway, unless you have a camera in your hand and a better-looking model with you at the time. It's funny how girls don't mind being asked to model if you've already got a model with you, but otherwise they look at you like you're a serial rapist or something. And just for the record, I am not a serial rapist. I just can't give that kind of commitment right now.

3) Each time my heart is broken it goes back together differently. And each time I have to put my heart back together again, there are more cracks, more leaks, where the love just slips right through and I feel less and less like I can survive going through it all again.

4) It is possible to love yourself so much that you have no room left in your heart to love anyone else. It is possible, but it is not good.

5) Sometimes I still talk to Spiky.

6) If death is not the end, what is?

7) It has been a hard revelation, but I have come to realize that I simply do not understand the current generation that is in their 20s. They seem to make and break relationships at the drop of a hat, seemingly at random, placing no value whatever on friends. Facebook is real life to them. Drop or Block means you are gone and if I see you on the street I will not say 'hello' to you. And they see nothing wrong with this. It is as casual as I would say "see you later" to a friend of mine as I was leaving their house. The only difference is, I would expect to see my friend again. This generation, they really don't seem to care about that. Show up, don't show up, love me today and leave me tomorrow, disappear forever - it's all the same. I don't know how anyone can live like that. I don't want to.

8) I have never hurt as much as I have lately. And the hurt just keeps on coming.

9) My concept of God has become all turned around. In church they talk like God is right here standing next to you, taking care of you. Then they show you in the Bible where it says he's gone away and we are on our own, living in a world of suffering and death. Then they tell you to follow the example set by Jesus. Then they pray to Jesus or the Holy Spirit, but Jesus only ever prayed to God the Father, not himself or any spirit. They pray for things like healing and help, yet I can't think of one example where Jesus asked God for help and then waited to see if help came. He just said "I wish you wouldn't make me go through this" and then he went through it, pain and suffering and all. God didn't save him and he didn't seem to expect God to. Why do we pray? Does God really do anything or is it just like sending him an email which he never responds to? I don't know anymore.

10) Sometimes I still talk to Steph.

The Making of the 2010 Pirelli Calendar by Terry Richardson from Rafael Rubira sent to me by Unique Stephen

* Please don't ask me for their contact information. I can't give it out.
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