Just Wrong
1) Couldn't God conceivably just cancel the Earth and everything on it, like some bad TV show that people have quit watching? Don't you think He's got some other planet somewhere he's been messing with and finds more interesting? What if Earth is the MySpace of God's world and somewhere He's got a planet Facebook? And more recently, a planet Google+ which He doesn't fully understand yet, but has been messing around with just to see if it's any good?
What if God prefers Google Earth?
2) If I had known how dull and pointless my life was going to be, I probably would have gotten into a lot more trouble when I was younger.
Trouble
3) I'm struggling to give a flying fart about football this season. Men in pink don't exactly inspire me. And when players knee other players in the testicles and aren't even ejected from the game, let alone kicked out of the league entirely, I just lose all respect for the sport. Hell, I might as well be watching soccer with all the unmanly gayness.
Unmanly gayness
4) I have clearly been away from heavy weightlifting for too long. Oh, I know I've been sick, but even so, I went out into the garage to see how many chin-ups I could still do and I almost did one. Yeah, WTF?
Chin up Fail
5) Five seconds ago, Michelle Bachmann was the candidate to beat and all set to unseat Mitt Romney as the GOP presidential candidate. I turn my head for a moment and suddenly it's this guy, Cain, the pizza CEO. What happened?
What happened??
6) I was just over visiting an Aussie blog when I noticed she had done one of those "100 Things About Me" posts. I did one several years ago and began thinking about doing another one. I thought for about 30 seconds and realized there aren't 100 things about me worth talking about, let alone writing down and asking others to slog through. So, of course, I started trying to write it anyway, got way off course, and ended up writing this instead.
7) I was flipping channels earlier when I saw Jay Leno doing jokes about Obama having no hope of getting reelected and Mitt Romney already measuring the White House for new drapes. I was surprised. I thought all of LA was so politically correct that the very thought of Obama not being reelected was taboo to even mention. And then he did some fairly pro Chick-Fil-A bits. The gay power crowd absolutely hates Chick-Fil-A. Once again, I thought no one in LA would dare cross the PC Priestesses like that. What's happened to Jay Leno? Has he started to think twice about the Hollywood mindset or is he just wealthy enough now that he doesn't give a damn?
Leno got money
8) Speaking of President Obama, a lot of Americans are noticing that since the passage of Obamacare into law, without anyone reading it first, suddenly all these government agencies are trying to tell us that we don't need any testing for cancers and vitamins are bad and basically everything that modern societies do to maintain their health should not be done anymore. We should all let our health go and die as soon as possible. Because apparently Obamacare is so damned expensive that unless we implement a "Logan's Run" policy of killing everyone after age 30, we are going to go totally bankrupt in a New York minute. I can't tell you how inspiring it is to have our own government using our tax dollars to encourage us to kill ourselves. I always knew the Hard Left was very pro-death and pro-destruction, but this is ridiculous.
Obamacare
9) All of a sudden, it seems as if everyone is pregnant. All around me, women I know are pregnant. And when I turn on the TV, all the women on TV are pregnant, too. Emily Deschanel, of the show "Bones", is pregnant this season. Christina Applegate had a baby unexpectedly last year, made a TV series about it, and now has a hit show about trying to work and take care of her new baby at the same time. Jennifer Aniston, the woman who promised to have kids with Brad Pitt, then reneged, and ended up divorced because of it, is now said to be pregnant. Someone put nude photos of a very pregnant Jessica Alba out on the internet just last month. And I look pregnant after missing 3 weeks of gym time. What's up with that?
Alba
10) The guy who hacked Scarlett Johansson's cell phone and released 2 nude photos of her has finally been caught. He says he's relieved because he couldn't stop himself once he started. The FBI says he's a criminal and may be sentenced to as much as 121 years once all the criminal counts against him are put together. That's 121 years longer than Mary Winkler served for murdering her husband in cold blood, by the way. The FBI said he's bad. Everyone else says he's a hero. We've wanted to see Scarlett's boobies for a long, long time.
Blessed Scarlett Johansson
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