- I always look to see who is behind the curtain here in the land of Oz. I often see the real wizard of Oz, the old man turning the handles and speaking into the mic. I see the naked emperor. I see more and more each year as I grow older.
- I was raised to be a cynic. Because of this I question things that don't make sense. I find things that aren't widely known. I often catch the lies behind the great emotional "victimhood" propaganda.
- I've always been involved in sports. I have a lot of great memories. My maximum heartrate says I'm in my 20s. I can not run for months and then go run a 5K and it doesn't bother me (although my times aren't competitive anymore, dammit.)
- I always did well in school. I wasn't the smartest, but I was usually smart enough.
- I come from a place where no one was a native except me. I learned to adapt quickly and easily, moving from geeks to jocks to heads to preps without much difficulty.
- I used to be able to run so fast in track that it felt as if I could stretch out my arms and fly away. It was a high like no other. I was young, light and on top of the world.
- I can make any woman laugh if given the chance and the right opportunity. Every man wants to make women laugh and smile. It's as if we need that encouragement to keep us alive. It's like oxygen.
- I'm not short or bald and I don't have bad teeth.
- I can be creative. I can be artistic. I can be deep. I can fart with the best of them.
- I don't have a car note. Nya nya nya! I haven't had one for 10 years.
- I always look to see who is behind the curtain here in the land of Oz. I don't like what I see 75 percent of the time and it makes me unhappy for reasons that are hard to explain to people, the vast majority of whom don't want to hear about it. Ignorance is bliss and if you can't do much about it anyway what good does it do?
- I was raised to be a cynic. Because of this I ask a lot of questions that get me into trouble and make powerful people mad. It doesn't pay to rock the boat when you're all alone and powerless.
- I used to be in great shape. It makes it that much harder to accept the way I look now that I am fading away.
- All of my education and hard work has not taken me anywhere that I want to be.
- I come from a place where no one was a native except me. I don't really belong anywhere exactly.
- I used to be able to run so fast in track that it felt as if I could stretch out my arms and fly away. I can still feel that speed inside somewhere, but now that I'm older my hamstrings betray me, keeping me firmly on the ground, sometimes sliding on my face when I try and end up tearing one in mid-sprint. I just can't fly anymore.
- I have a strong lack of self-confidence. Women hate men who aren't confident. The first girl I was engaged to only went out with me the first time because I was so down that I decided to just fake like I was this other guy I knew, a super cocky asshole, whom all the girls loved. I faked it and the next thing I knew I had the best-looking girl in the place as my girlfriend and then fiancee for 2 years 2 months and 5 days before she dumped me for a genuinely confident guy who turned out to be a genuinely selfish asshole. Then she dumped him, too, after less than a year. Last time I saw her she was literally running from him.
- My hair started turning gray while I was in college and has just kept on slowly turning.
- I can cuss like a sailor and often do. Few women admire this ability.
- I can't see ever spending the money to have a brand new cool musclecar or righteous BMW, even though I could if I wanted to. There are so many other, less exciting things I'd rather do, none of which impress anyone at all, such as paying off my house early or investing in stocks. Sometimes you should live a little before you die. But I don't.
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