Nude Memphis Movie Review - Total Recall

I just saw Total Recall, the remake of the old film starring Arnold Schwarzennegger. This version stars Colin Farrell as Douglas Quaid, the man with the faulty memory. It also stars Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel, 2 of the most beautiful women in the world, playing the role of the women in his life.

2 of the world's most beautiful women

I haven't seen the 1990 version of this film in a very long time, and I have forgotten a lot about it, but this version is quite a bit different. For one thing, none of it takes place on Mars. The earth is virtually uninhabitable due to global chemical warfare, leaving only small portions inhabitable for human life - the UK and Australia, which is once again a colony of the UK.

The return of the 3 Breasted Woman
The colony is not treated well, as the UK is exploiting it for all its worth. The most valuable asset in this new world is living space, not natural resources, so life on the colony is tightly packed, stacked on top of itself, and not very prosperous. Prosperity is generally limited to life in the UK, and this blatant inequality and unfairness has created a hostility in the Australian colony. A revolutionary movement has formed. Every so often an act of terrorism will occur which is always blamed on the revolutionaries.

Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel
I'm not going to summarize the entire film. Instead I'm going to recommend that you see it. If it isn't in theaters anymore then rent it or buy it or wait for it show up on one of the pay channels and then watch it. But it is definitely worth watching.

I have two objections to this film. The first is that while the UK citizens speak with a British accent, no one in Australia speaks with an Australian accent. What's up with that? Everyone in Australia speaks with an American accent. That seems a bit hokey to me. The second objection is that in stereotypical fashion, the president of the UK, because he is a villain, is a white male. The only time a white male is allowed to be portrayed as president or chief or whatever the highest ranking role of authority in a story, if the film-maker is a bigot, then that white male must either be an idiot or a villain. Sometimes he is both. But he is never allowed to be good and competent. I'm sick of that. The director of this film is more talented than that. To be fair I guess I should also point out that the leader of the rebels, a good guy, is a white male, too. I suppose somewhere a black activist group is probably complaining that neither leader was black. Whatever.

Kate Beckinsale is as sexy a villain as there ever was
On the positive side, Colin Farrell is good. And Kate Beckinsale as the sexiest Darth Vader villain I've seen in a long time was kick-ass. I give the movie one star just for Kate Beckinsale. Jessica Biel as the revolutionary girlfriend was also hot and sexy. I give it one more star for Jessica Biel. So two stars just for including the 2 hottest women on the planet in a single movie. Three stars for a good story and well made film. That's 5 stars. Minus one star for the stereotypical white male corrupt leader villain, though. 1/2 star for Kate Beckinsale's tight pants throughout the entire film which showed off her ass like a monument to greatness. So I'm rating Total Recall a whopping 4 1/2 stars. Go see it. And see it in a theater if you can. Kate Beckinsale's ass on a giant screen is amazing! I'd give it  an unheard of 5 stars if it was in 3D just because of Kate Beckinsale's ass. This is a film that would really do 3D justice.

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