Little Red Riding Hood - part 8

The Trial begins
Ms Haighter swaggered slowly over to Brandon and his wheelchair. She was dressed in a long gray skirt that appeared to be made of wool, brown sensible shoes, a white blouse buttoned all the way to her neck, and black rimmed glasses. Her hair was cut short. It was dark brown and appeared unwashed. As she stood in front of Brandon, arms crossed over her chest, Brandon suddenly realized that she looked a lot like Jane Hathaway from the old “The Beverly Hillbillies” TV series. He had to fight the urge to laugh once the thought crossed his mind. Every time he looked at her he started hearing the Beverly Hillbillies theme song in his head.

Do you mind if I call you Brandon?
“So Brandon,” she said with an exaggerated slowness, “do you mind if I call you Brandon?”

Brandon looked at her for a moment, trying to decide if she was joking. “Um, no, that's my name.”

“Good,” she responded, looking smug, as if she has just made a valuable point. “So Brandon, tell me about that night, the night when Katie Reidenhausen was raped and you ran away and left her there bleeding and crying while she fought for her life.”

“Well,” Brandon began to reply. “First of all, I don't know much. I never saw anyone approach her. I was talking to her when I saw what time it was and realized that I was late getting home. My parents had already warned me not to be late again. So I told her I had to go and then I drove off. She told me later that that guy, Wolf, came up to her just as I was leaving. I never saw him. I just know what she said. Second of all, she wasn't actually raped ...”

“Objection, your Honor! The Violence Against Women Act's Rape Shield Laws prohibit the accused from denying that a rape occurred if The State says that it did. Brandon is clearly in violation of federal law when he says that Katie Reidenhausen was not raped!”

The judge straightened abruptly in his chair and said in an oddly deep voice, “Yes, you are correct. The court instructs that the defendant never again contradict the statement that Katie Reidenhausen was raped. If you deny it again you will be found in contempt. Do you understand?”

Brandon looked confused for a minute and then replied, “did no one else actually read the police report or ask Red, er, Katie what actually happened that night? Just bring her in and she'll tell you ...”

“Objection, your honor!” Ms Haighter screamed, cutting Brandon off again. “The Violence Against Women Act specifically prohibits any attempt by the defense to force a rape victim to testify or answer any questions whatever. Clearly the defendant is attempting to rape Katie Reidenhausen all over again!”

“You are correct, prosecutor,” the judge said in his standared deeper voice than he actually possessed, sort of like George Takei, the gay actor from the original Star Trek series who also talks with an obviously fake deep voice which always seems really weird. “The court warns the defendant to never again say that Katie Reidenhausen was not raped or you will be found in contempt and prohibited from speaking again. Do you understand?” he bellowed, pointing at Brandon.

Oh myyyyyyy
“Uh” Brandon stammered. “I'm a bit confused. I thought this was supposed to be a hearing where I answered questions about the night Red was attacked. How can I answer questions if I'm not allowed to speak or even point out when you've said something that is already known not to be true?”

“Just you answer the questions the prosecutor asks you, but don't violate federal law while you do it. Is that clear, young man?”

“Uh, OK, but I'm not a lawyer so I don't know these very weird federal laws you two keep quoting and you've disallowed me from having a lawyer to advise me, so how do I know what the federal laws are?” Brandon asked, obviously very confused.

The judge and prosecutor looked at each other, then at Brandon, and then back at each other. Finally, the judge said to Brandon in his ridiculously fake deep George Takei voice, “we'll tell you what you can and can't say. As long as you only answer how we tell you and never say what we tell you not to say you should be OK and not get into any trouble.”

Then the judge and prosecutor both turned and looked at Brandon as if waiting for him to say that he understood.

“That's … uh … sure, whatever.” Brandon responded in obvious confusion.

The prosecutor then returned to questioning Brandon. “So let's change gears for a minute,” she said. “Let's talk about your relationship to Katie. She's a very attractive girl, don't you think?”

There was an awkward silence. Finally Brandon said, “Can I answer now? Is it OK for me to speak? Or will I get into trouble again?”

“You can answer,” the judge instructed.

“OK. Uh, sure, she's pretty good looking.” Brandon admitted.

“And you and she have known each other for how long?”

“Since we were kids, like more than 10 years, I think.” Brandon replied.

“So you both reached sexual maturity together, more or less, is that right?”

“Uh, what? Uh, I guess so, yeah, I'm two years older than her but yeah, we reached, uh, sexual maturity a year or two apart from one another. Sure.”

“So it's safe to say that you both developed strong sexual urges at about the same time, correct?”

“Uh ..” Brandon tried to answer.

“And you both 'knew' each other” the prosecutor said as she made air quotes to emphasize the word 'knew', “during that time, as your sexual urges began to overwhelm you both, correct?”

“Uh ..” Brandon said.

“And at what point did you and Katie Reidenhausen first begin having sex together? And remember, you are under oath.” Prosecutor Haighter demanded.

“And also remember that federal law prohibits you from contradicting the assertions of the prosecutor. “ the judge bellowed.

What? We haven't ...
“What? We haven't … uh … how do I answer without … uh” Brandon stumbled.

“You DO know that for you, a 17-year-old male to engage in sexual intercourse with Katie, a 15-year-old female, is statutory rape, don't you?” Prosecutor Haighter shouted at Brandon, accusingly.

“Look, Katie and I are friends and we've known each other for a long time, but she's more like a sister to me than … I mean …”

“You cannot deny the prosecutor's statement that you and Katie engaged in illegal sexual relations.” The judge warned in his George Takei voice.

Brandon stood silently thinking for a few moments and finally responded, “Look, I'm gay, so … you can try to accuse me of having sex with Katie all you want, but that would mean you'd have to deny me my rights as a gay man, and isn't that against some federal law somewhere, too?”

The court went completely silent as the judge and entire prosecution team were momentarily stunned.

Across town, inside the White House where President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder were watching the nationally televised trial together, they each shouted in unison, “Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

Gay rights protestors from Connecticut to California immediately began pouring into the streets, waving signs and chanting “let Brandon go!”, “Brandon has a right to be gay”, and “No Hate for Brandon!”

The feminists were already in the streets, having been there all along waving signs that said “Castrate Brandon” and “All men are rapists.” The gay activists were mostly male. The lesbians were already out there making up the majority of the feminist protestors. The black protestors, supporters of Wolf, cheered as their enemies, the radical feminists, were now caught between the screaming and violent gay men and the perpetually angry black protestors. The flying spit of screaming militants quickly turned into flying fists, as the angry gay men raised the tension level of the protests to a new and bloodier high.

Another election year

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