Friday Mental Flatulence

The Baby Boomers were the first generation in American history to declare that not only is gay sex between two men not gross, but that it is a sin to say it is gross. I had long ago noticed this odd religious fanaticism coming from the anti-God pro-LSD generation, but CBS' Criminal Minds just reminded me the other night.

Speaking of Criminal Minds, *yawn*, it is apparently OK for a Latino model to say "Latinos do a better job than everybody else", but this same statement would of course be bigoted were it to come from a white male. Imagine the scandal if CBS had one of their white male characters strike a runway pose and say "white men do a better job than everybody else." Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.

LSU just kicked their backup quarterback, the MVP of last season's championship win, off the team for ... this may shock you ... constant misconduct and legal troubles. In other words, he plays great ball, but he's a punk off the field. Whoever heard of a modern athletic team expelling a player for that? This might start a trend. That is, unless the Woodstock Hippies who currently run our nation step in and declare this, too, to be a sin. It is, after all, conduct discrimination.

Mariah breasts

Singer Mariah Carey, she of the exotic curvaciousness, has married actor Nick Cannon. Men and many women the world over are crying over the loss of this hot chick from the pool of single women, as if any of us ever had a shot in hell at dating her.

Emilio - no bus driver

Toxicology tests show that Grammy-winning Tejano singer Emilio Navaira was intoxicated when the tour bus he was driving crashed into freeway barrels in suburban Houston in March. I'm thinking Tejano music is perhaps the only music where a lead singer can win a Grammy and still have to drive his own damn bus. Think about it. Can you picture Mariah Carey driving her own bus, drunk and wearing that lawn maintenance man cowboy hat?

Baba Wawa

News reporter Barbara Walters has admitted to having a sexual affair with former U.S. Senator Edward Brooke of Massachusetts. This is shocking not only because Brooke is black and the affair occurred in the 1970s, but also because, most shockingly of all, Brook was a Republican!

I sold a particular stock yesterday. Today it went up. This always happens. I have blogged about it before. I should have blogged that I was going to sell so all of you could buy just before I let it go.

A Japanese civil servant was demoted for logging more than 780,000 hits on porn sites over the past 9 months while at work. In America, this person would have been fired after only 1 hit on a porn site. Unless he was in management. Oh wait, I'll bet he is.

A genius in Ft. Worth, Texas was arrested last week for trying to cash a check for $360 billion. Now I, because I used to work at the corporate headquarters of a large American bank, would be aware that such a large check would draw considerable attention from the bank employees, as well as the IRS and Secret Service, but a lot of people would not know this. A lot of people are really, really stupid.

I just wrote something about a Hee Haw actress the other day. Today I read that one of the Hager twins has died this week at the age of 66. I wonder if any of the Hee Haw Honeys will show up at his funeral?

Tomorrow I will be guest blogging on Burt Reynold's Mustache, so please come by and see me. I hate being all lonely and stuff. You know how hard it is to get any hits on a Saturday post.

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