Memorial Day Weekend

I went to a party on Sunday at my neighbors' house. It was technically an Indy 500 party, as well as a general drinking, eating, acting goofy party. But we did actually watch the Indianapolis 500 on a gigantic big-screen high-def TV. We also drank a lot of beer and yelled at the drivers a lot.

We weren't the only ones yelling at the drivers, though.

Danica Patrick, the only female Indy car racecar driver that I knew of prior to yesterday's race, has a reputation for her red-hot temper to go with her red-hot Sports Illustrated bikini photos. And apparently racing sponsors like her reputation, as was evidenced by the fact that she was the only racecar driver featured in any of the ads run during the race.

Apparently GoDaddy is pretty hot on her. She's their official spokeswoman.

Danica races for Mario Andretti's race team. He has 3 drivers, one of whom is his grandson, Marco. Danica was doing well on Sunday. While Marco was battling for the number 1 position, Danica had moved up to seventh place and was patiently moving up further and further as the race went on. It was an odd race, with passing being unusually difficult and crashes being aplenty. All she needed to do was sit tight and watch several cars ahead of her crash, as they were steadily doing, and she'd be right up there in the top 4 cars.

But alas, near the end of the race, with all the cars pitted during a yellow flag, disaster struck. Just as Danica was exiting the pits, some jackass zipped out from his pit and slammed into Danica's car, knocking both of them out of the race.

As I said, Danica has a bit of a reputation for her temper. Today was no exception. After her crew had pulled her car back into the pit, declared her finished, and removed her from the car, she immediately took off after the other driver.

Security chased her down and prevented her from expressing her feelings to the other driver, but it was a highlight of the race even so. She has a very definite "angry walk" that lets you know what she's up to even when she's trying to be casual about it. Also, the crowd was cheering louder and louder the closer she got.

Check it out:

My neighbor has formed a band with some of his friends. They set up their instruments on their back porch and blasted us for a few hours with every song they knew. They know 4 songs, but they can play them as many times as you like, and they did.

My cat, Stinky, wandered over to join the fun. Everyone seemed to know him already. He was surprised to see me, stopping short and jumping when he spotted me. He seemed to be saying "what the fuck are YOU doing here?" But he quickly got over his surprise.

I was fed a steady supply of free beer, and being Baptist, I of course drank all I could get. Afterwards, when I was feeling pretty good, they fed me spicy food. Then they poured Jägermeister into me. The women all swore it was poison from hell. The men were curious to see how I handled it. Men are required to pass these sorts of manly tests, you know.

I think I handled it pretty well. I recognized the taste, indicating that someone had poured this stuff down me at some point in the past and I simply didn't know what it was. I drank more of shots of it than my host or anyone else at the party. It didn't affect me at all, other than to give me breath that could burn the hair off an Italian woman's cooter at 50 paces.

But then they broke out the spicy German food. It tasted great. I ate way too much of it. It felt nice in my tummy. For a few minutes. Then it began to mix with the Jägermeister and the beer and the other spicy foods I had eaten earlier and I began feeling less well.

A few dark beers, some ale, and more shots of Jägermeister later and I was getting the winky eye. Actually, I think the winky eye had more to do with the fact that my back and neck were hurting and creating a pain behind my eyes that some people call a migraine, but I can't be sure. Either way, my stomach was beginning to churn, my eyes were hurting to the point that I could only use one of them at a time, and it was way late at night. Half the party goers had either gone home, or fallen asleep at various locations inside the house. I lived right next door, so I simply said 'good night' and wandered home in the dark.

I woke up this morning to find that my back still hurts, but other than that I'm fine. Danica Patrick is already up on YouTube courtesy of Brazilian TV. Apparently they like her Irish temper. It's raining here today, with plenty of heat lightning to keep it entertaining. My cats are both inside sleeping it off while I waste time on the computer.

It only just now occurs to me that I haven't seen a single thing on TV all weekend relating to the real reason for Memorial Day. I think that's odd considering we have soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives right at this very moment. We seem to be dominated by the Most Ungrateful Generation at the present time, and these people dominate our media. So, nothing about the risks our soldiers are taking for our benefit has come across any of the channels on my TV.

The Wall Street Journal, ever a bastion of feminist propaganda, is too busy defending the American Association of University Women for their "girls are shortchanged in school" lies that have resulted in the most vicious and destructive anti-male changes in our entire education system over the past 15 years that has ever occured in our nation's history, to mention any gratitude to our military. Almost every single American has noticed to varying degrees how badly males are being treated in our schools and universities now, yet the Journal and the AAUW claim this is all our imagination and in reality it is the girls who need still more favoritism. Even as they were suing male schools to force them to shut down or admit girls, they were simultaneously setting up female-only schools that prohibit males while their well-paid corrupt judges ruled that single sex education (only for males) was illegal, just to help them destroy the boys' schools. The Journal made no mention of this, of course, and neither do the fascists at the AAUW.

So, that's what's happening in the newspaper that was delivered to my house. No credit to our military for giving their lives in service of our country. Oh no. And nothing about how repulsive and unforgivable it is that our ivy league communastaries have kicked all U.S military functions off campus, replacing them with militant sexist, racist, and anti-American terrorist recruiting and training programs, such as women's studies, black studies, mexican studies and the like. According to the Ivory Tower priests and priestesses, anyone who defends America is a hater and must be enslaved or killed. But anyone who betrays this country is a true believer, a saint, and must be given a law degree and tenure as quickly as possible.

As I write this, I have noticed that Google, which celebrates every holiday under the sun, has completely ignored Memorial Day.

Anyway, enough about that. As for me and my house, we're grateful to our military for all that they've done. And I'm grateful to my neighbor, for the free drinks, the free food, and a day of fun. And now I'm tired. I don't really have much else to say. The Blog is behaving oddly, or maybe I just have a virus. Either way, happy Memorial Day. I'm out.

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