Monday - Yay

halloween cat
Kill me now

It's Monday again. So excited. There was ice on my windshield, but it looked like water and didn't feel cold enough for ice. So of course I ruined my windshield wipers on it.

I backed all the way down the driveway, noticing that my truck didn't seem to want to coast very well. Then I realized that my parking brake was on. It just barely slowed me down. Great.

I actually got an email asking me where 'Fuck You Friday' was last Friday. I hadn't done one of those in a long, long time. I don't know if I have it in me to do any new ones. I also don't know if anyone else would want to see any new ones.

I did see a few headlines this morning that caught my eye:

Why Every Woman Should Strength Train

We don't even pretend to care about the men anymore, although I have nothing against there being more hot, buff women running around.

ego woman plus accessories
It's all about me, really

Some female athletes risk weaker bones

This is old news. In fact, it's almost older than I am. I guess when all the news is for women only, eventually you run out of new things to report. Here's a radical thought: some athletes are male. Maybe there is something to report for them?

First lady making history in Argentina

We're all excited here in the States. Why shouldn't we be? We love a good Marxist dictatorship. It always goes so well for us, not to mention how it goes for The People who live under it. Plus, we helped buy this. And by 'we' I'm referring to some billionaires in New York City who shall remain named George Soros, as well as a handful of other wealthy drug addicts.

Self defense: fight like a girl and win

Here's a big shocker from an early morning NBC show. They had a woman teach them how women should fight against "an attacker." So she brought a guy up onstage to help her demonstrate. This was fortunate because it wouldn't have worked very well had it been a girl. Guess what she did? Anyone? Anyone? Bueler? Kicks to the groin, stabbing to the groin, etc. Oh, and don't forget his eyes and throat. Is this news to anyone? This required 10 minutes of airtime? They had a dummy up there to demonstrate on, so why bring up the guy? The woman had a book she was pushing. I don't think anything that she said requires a book. Just pop in a Disney movie or turn on "America's Funniest Home Videos" and BAM, there it is. You don't need her book.


I missed all the pro games yesterday. Here's a college football finish you should watch, though. MSN isn't showing me any scores, but judging from the headline I assume the Colts beat the Patriots? I skipped the entire World Series. Sorry if this shocks you. Boston vs Colorado? I live in Memphis. We couldn't care less down here.

Teenager in go-kart leaves police standing

The more I hear of Germany in the news, the more it sounds like a fun place to be. Maybe I should start brushing up on my German again? From naked women stopping at a convenience store for gas, to women on the bus causing such a distraction that the driver has to stop and ask her to put them away, to naked girls having sex and accidently burning down their parents house, to kids in go-karts evading the police, Germany sounds like a party all the time.

fetish boots
German girls do it better!

Woman escapes from German detention centre in a suitcase

Oh here they go again! A 19-year-old German woman escaped from a juvenile detention center by climbing inside the suitcase of another girl who was being released. Wacky! Although I have to ask, why was a 19-year-old being held in a juvenile detention center?

Russian officials "helped stage" pro-Putin rallies

Well, what do you expect from an unrepentent KGB man? Anyway, we're staging entire elections all over the world, so he's in good company. And you should see how The Press works whenever there are protestors they agree with. They round them all up and jam them together for the photo or video footage, making it appear as if it was a huge crowd, rather than the 5 or 6 unemployed losers that it actually is. Same ole same ole.

Da Vinci's 'Last Supper' goes online

If you think about it, God has been "online" longer than anyone in history. In fact, God has been online and wireless since Adam and Eve. Prayer is high technology. It doesn't get any better than that.

Boiled nuts help protect against illness

Actually, boiled nuts means you should switch to boxers and perhaps wear looser pants. It's a bad thing and can do permanent damage if you aren't careful. This sort of thing also happens in hot tubs, but is usually not permanent.

Selling a Home After a Spouse's Death

Mary Winkler is looking at this article with great interest. Just killed your man? Need to move some property to pay for your upcoming trip to Las Vegas? Here's how.

happy panties
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's ... Super Toe!

Captain Underpants ruins Halloween on Long Island

Three girls came to school dressed as Captain Underpants. The boys, and a small group of girls from the softball team, were very excited about it. The principal, unfortunately, was less so. He sent them home and banned Halloween costumes entirely. The entire school is in an uproar. "Bring back Captain Underpants!"

Captain Underpants - my hero!

Sorry for the excessive dose of cranky today. I'm tired and sore and spent my weekend moving limited-slip differentials, cast iron control arms, brick paving stones, and other lovely items from the old house to the new. Both I and my truck are dead tired and rather sore today. And I'm feeling more than a little down. Perhaps I can cheer you up with something far, far more exciting? Do you love Prunella de Ville? Do you think she's hot? Well, you're right.
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