Toilet Teeter Totter

In the bathrooms here where I work they have the men's and women's bathrooms backing up to one another, I suppose so that they only had to run one set of pipes down a center wall. The toilets are not mounted to the floor. They're mounted to the wall, suspended from the pipes. This is all well and good for mopping, but it has an unexpected and occasionally unpleasant side-effect.

I noticed this when I was sitting on my great white throne of thunder reigning down hellfire. The janitor was in the ladies' bathroom flipping up the toilet seats and scrubbing the bowls. When she came to the toilet opposite mine I felt a jolt go through the wall, into the toilet I was sitting on, and up through me as the lid was slammed back down again.

Mmm, not much fun, that.

This morning I was once again reigning upon my great white throne of thunder when something even more unexpected occurred. A great big fat woman apparently plopped herself down on the toilet opposite mine without making the slightest effort to slow her descent with her Gumby legs. The result was that her fat ass hit the toilet seat like a Dodge Ram pickup dropping from a second story roof, pushing her toilet downward.

Did you ever study physics? No matter. You can surely figure this one out either way.

As her fat ass crushed her suspended toilet downward it also lifted my toilet upward, picking my feet up off the floor and nearly tossing me into the air.

It was toilet teeter totter!

I wonder who designed our bathrooms? I'll bet they've never actually worked in a place with these teeter totter toilets or else they'd find a better way to install them, such as, oh I don't know, bolting them to the floor. That'd be nice.
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