We arrived in Nashville safe and sound. It was just getting dark so no one could see who we were as we pulled through the gates at Kline Manor and drove up to the house. A number of shadowy figures could be seen on the back half of the estate piling wood, boxes, and small children into a huge heap in preparation for some sort of firey Pagan ritual.
I was greeted by a kindly woman, who showed me her tongue.
"Hi Diane" I shouted gleefully to her.
"Nyaaaaaaa" she replied, but oh so kindly, as she apparently mistook me for her doctor.
Once I had managed to get inside (I can't understand why no one would let me in) I found a surprising sight.
Everyone was sober, and still fully clothed!
"I must be in the wrong house," I mumbled, somewhat confused. But no, this was the place. Bruce Wayne, I mean Kevin, handed me a drink, I mean told me to put my cooler full of drinks down and pull up a chair.
Several pieces of birthday cake, I mean Heinekens later, it was on!
"Hey baby, how YOU doin'?"
"Thank you, sir, may I have another?"
Jello and tequilla - it's Mexican dessert night!
"Hmm, smells like Robitussin"
5 minutes later ....
"See if you can guess what this is.
I'll give you a hint, it's a female body part."
"Wooooooo!"
Shiny, happy people
Even Teddy was having a good time
It's a very long story
Uh huh, a woman knows what she likes.
And THEN it started to get REALLY GOOD!
Underwear began to fly
The Robitussin had worked its' magic
No more coughing
It's a traditional Greek Orthodox ... um ... Partridge adornment
The trophy room
Shake it up, baby!
Twist and shout!
But then, alas, it was morning and all the fun was over.
Until ....
Diane began screaming, "Steve, bring your camera and come quick!"
Like a flash I grabbed my camera and ran past Kelly's husband, Kevin, into the master bathroom, where Diane had directed me.
I was expecting Kelly and Sam to be up to something wild and funny involving bras or tequilla or something.
Instead I found something else.
Something unexpected.
Something naked.
Kelly, Samantha, Jennifer, and an unidentified child were all in the master bathroom together
stark naked
And I was now in there with them."Um, holy shit, I ... uh ... I thought .. um .."
I backed out of there as gracefully as I could
stumbling over laundry, shoes, and towels
and ran smack into Kevin
who laughed at me!
"You should see how red your face is!"
"Um, they're all naked in there."
"Yep, I accidently walked in on them myself while Jennifer was in the shower.
I pretty much reacted the same as you. Whoops!"
"What was I supposed to be taking a picture of then?"
No one ever really answered that question.
And now I feel particularly bad that in my shock I failed to get any pictures of the nudepalooza while I had the chance.
Maybe next time?
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