I used to work with a guy with laser-like focus. He never had more than one application open at a time on his computer. The second he finished working on something, he closed it down completely. It drove me crazy. But he was never distracted with the internet or blogs or anything like that. He got a lot done, even if he had no life whatever. I took careful note of that. Sadly, his girlfriend used him as a doormat and she and her Jewish mother wiped their feet on him regularly, before finally breaking up with him.
Yes, they BOTH broke up with him. The mother said he was unacceptable for her daughter to marry because he wasn't Jewish, so the daughter dropped him like a hot, Gentile potato. So sorry. NEXT!
I had to leave before lunch to run back to Redneckville and let the carpet people in my house. They had to stretch our carpet in two spots where it had become loose and had a slight ripple. The Real Estate Guy said "you can't sell with it like that. Even though this is great carpet, all anyone will remember is the two little ripples." So, it's tight, like Jessica Biel, as a carpet should be.
Speaking of Jessica Biel, I saw her in a movie the other night and she was SO HOT. I have seen her in other things and I always had a thing for her, but this one was extra hot. I guess because she was mostly naked? That probably has a lot to do with it. Man, she has no fat on her entire body except up front. And I have no idea if those are real or not. Please don't tell me if they aren't. I don't want to know. If they're fake they are mighty convincing.
I'm in the middle of a long-running email conversation with a fellow blogger. We're simultaneously talking about Faith Hill, Britney Spears (both from Mississippi), Mary Winkler and my poor reaction to the dork who popped into my comments just to insult me and all men who dare to disagree with her lack of any punishment whatever for murdering her husband.
I foolishly followed his link (bait) to a radical feminist abortion blog who claims that women receive longer sentences than men. I say foolishly because even though I know what the real numbers are, and she is just flat out lying, and even though I know that nothing I say will even register, because when a male speaks, feminists do not hear him, I still left a comment.
Idiot! Why do I do these stupid things? I don't want to talk to her. I don't want her to follow me home and try to 'save' me with the gospel according to Catherine Mackinnon or Marilyn French or whomever the latest most fashionable propaganda misandrist is these days. I don't want another long rant about the glories of Marxism or Maoism and female supremacy via perpetual victimhood in my comments. I already knew exactly how this whole Mary Winkler thing was going to play out before they had even arrested her. I said so. Hell, it didn't take a rocket scientist. All of these cases have been the same since at least the 1990s. Probably long before that even, but I wasn't paying attention before then. He dies and she goes free, crying "I'm the real victim." That's how it works. It's so easy that I even admitted if I were her lawyer I would have played the same tired old bullshit card. It never fails. It's just too easy to not use it. It's a guaranteed get out of jail free card.
'Show the jury your vagina, honey. OK, so she's free to go? Well okay then.'
So, enough about that. She and OJ can burn in hell together some day. If there were any justice then they both would. Too bad there isn't. I can only hope, and this is totally unChristian so don't even bother lecturing me because I already know, but I can only hope that she is such a total sociopath that she will never express the slightest authentic remorse, never repent, and thus never be able to escape her eternal reward. Yes, that goes against everything I'm supposed to believe in.
Bitter much?
So, it's over 105 degrees Fahrenheit here today. The Radio Man said it may hit 107. That's not heat index. That's just straight up humid Memphis heat. Yeah, if the heat doesn't fry your eggs then the humidity will suffocate you like a high school girl trapped in a broken elevator with a ghetto boy drenched in Axe Body Spray. Word!
Most days I'm glad I don't have much of a sense of smell. Teenaged boys should not be set free with Axe body spray. They have no idea how to use that crap. There is no one to teach them, either, so they just wing it. "Do I put it on sort of like taking a shower?"
"I don't know, man, just start spraying stuff and quit when you think you got it all covered."
"OK."
Dude, stinkorama!
Right this very moment Justin T. is probably doing pushups on top of my Jessica Biel. Damn that bastard!
This heat is really affecting me in ways I never noticed before. I can't spell words. I can't type. I am having trouble forming coherent sentences. I don't have nearly the creativity in my insulting comments towards morons in traffic. I can't remember where I left things when they're already in my freakin' pocket. It's just all bad. I don't know that I've ever been this affected by it. Maybe I just didn't notice? Or maybe it fried the memories out of my head so I just can't retrieve them? Who can say? Anyway, it's damn hot.
After work I have to run over to the new house again and drop off some crap. My Wife is slowly barricading the stairway up to my new office. At first I was fine with it, but now it's so bad that I can't get past her boxes of crap while carrying my own boxes of crap up the stairs. That's gotta stop.
Speaking of things that stop, I bought one of those cool tractor spinklers from Home Depot. My new neighbor has one and it works great. The little tractor rides all around his yard, following the hose, sprinkling all the pale dead grass. Home Depot didn't have one just like his, but they did have one that was the same color. Yay! The one I got from Home Depot is made in China, so you know it's good.
Pardon me a moment, I'm choking on my coffee.
Anyway, after several tries to get my Chinese lawn tractor sprinkler thing to water my lawn without shooting the aluminum arms across the yard, causing the now useless tractor to sit for 2 hours just dribbling water in a big puddle I have finally decided that I hate China and all lawn equipment made in China and I want my money back.
I went to my dresser where all my receipts from Home Depot are kept. They aren't there. If they aren't there then where are they? This is the only place they should be. How am I going to get my money back if I can't find the damned receipt and why isn't it where I put it?
DAMMIT!
Yeah, did I mention how hot it is? It's going to be this hot all week. It was this hot all last week, too. My brain is melting.
I bought several different sprinklers from Home Depot, all made in China. All are shit. I bought one from Germany. I figured the Germans should know better what they're doing. I hooked up my German sprinkler at the old house in Redneckville, expecting that it would shoot a normal stream in a little circle and then rotate back and start again, repeating this process over and over like those metal sprinklers you see on golf courses that go 'shhhhh ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka' as they spray a circle of water over a large area. My Chinese versions of these, by the way, are plastic, and I have to slap them to get them to go sometimes. Lately even the slapping isn't working and I fear they may shoot me in the back with a shotgun while I'm sleeping and then go on the news claiming I raped them or something, but that is neither here nor there. The point is, my German sprinkler shot an arc of high pressure water three stories up into the air, hosing down the roof of my house and then rotating in a perfect circle, watering next the top of my oak tree and then circling around and watering my neighbor's roof, before reversing direction and doing it all again.
Good God almighty, this thing is like a freakin' firetruck!
Gotta love those Germans. Their women stop buses with their breasts and go to the gas station to buy cigarettes totally naked, and their sprinklers are so awesome that they not only water your entire yard, but your house and your trees and your neighbors' house and yard, too. Great googly moogly!
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