Court Overturns Verdict Because Jurors Read Bible

Top US court OKs Bible use death penalty rejection


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WASHINGTON (Nude Memphis Parody) - The U.S. Supreme Court let stand on Monday a ruling that overturned the death penalty for a Colorado murderer because jurors during deliberations might have been improperly influenced by passages from the Bible, a ruling that could potentially precede the prohibition of Christians from serving on juries.

The justices declined to review a Colorado Supreme Court ruling that imposed a sentence of life imprisonment for Robert Harlan because jurors brought a Bible into the jury room and discussed the passage about an "eye for eye, tooth for tooth."

Jurors also brought the latest issue of "Playboy Magazine" into the jury room and discussed the physical attributes of American college coeds as well as their turn-ons and turn-offs, but the judges said Playboy's well known leftist slant was not considered an improper influence because they agree with it.

Without comment or recorded dissent, the nation's top court rejected an appeal by Colorado prosecutors who argued the introduction of the Bible into death penalty jury deliberations did not in any way violate the defendant's constitutional right to a fair trial and questioned why the Playboy was not mentioned.

Harlan was convicted and sentenced to death in 1995 for the kidnapping, rape and murder of a cocktail waitress who was on her way home from work at a casino. He also was convicted of shooting another woman who had given the waitress a ride.

According to the evidence, jurors brought a Bible, a Bible index and hand-written notes containing the location of passages into the jury room to share with another juror. The other juror brought the Playboy, with yellow sticky notes marking favorite nude coeds and hand-written notes about their turn-ons.

One passage stated: "Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, as he has caused disfigurement of a man, so shall it be done to him. And whoever kills an animal shall restore it, but whoever kills a man shall be put to death."

It was not immediately known if this passage was in the Bible or the Playboy.

A trial judge overturned the death sentence after concluding that a possibility existed that use of the Bible would influence a reasonable juror to vote for the death penalty and that the Playboy had been stolen out of her chambers without her permission or knowledge.

The judge allowed no discussion of Playboy's influence with its' well-established anti-death penalty stance and quickly added, "I only subscribe to this for my nephew. It's not for me, I swear. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

The Colorado Supreme Court agreed. "We can no longer say that Harlan's death sentence was not influenced by passion, prejudice or some other arbitrary factor," it ruled without specifying which if any of these were believed to have infiltrated the jury and why such factors are cited by leftist judges in justifying their own rulings every single day.

The Court then added, "we simply cannot allow something like the word of God to have any place in this state. We prefer murderers and rapists over Christians and God's laws."

Governor Herod of Colorado issued a statement saying, "I wash my hands of this."

Colorado is a state infamous for its' rabid anti-Christian stances among wealthy elitists in its' higher offices and courts. The state has in recent years been trying hard to compete with San Francisco and the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals for the title of "most committed to communism."
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