"This is Steve"
"Hey, it's me. The Mechanic says the cam sensor is just totally gone. It's like some magnet or something and it's just not there. So the computer can't get a reading. And that is also screwing up the EGR because it depends on that, too. So, he says they have to take so much apart that they are right there at the timing chain and do we want that replaced since it has over 200,000 miles on it?"
"Oh hell. Yes, replace the timing chain. I'm sure it needs it by now."
"He said to do that they'll have to drain out all the oil and antifreeze. You just changed my oil, didn't you?"
"Yeah, and I put in Mobil 1 fully synthetic, that new high mileage crap that cost $6 a quart. Ask him to use the same stuff, Mobil 1 5W-30 fully synthetic, OK?"
"OK."
"So, how much did he say this would cost?"
"$500, plus the special oil we want."
"Shit."
"OK, I'll tell him. Bye."
"Bye."
[4 gloriously happy hours later, as I am just sitting down after the overflowing toilet incident]
Ring Ring!
"This is Steve."
"Hey, he says the harmonic balancer is cracked and needs to be replaced and wants to know if we want that done, too."
"The harmonic balancer is cracked?! Oh motherfu .... (pause to catch my breath) .. yes, you kind of need that. So how much to replace that, too?"
"$289."
"Shit."
"Yep. So, my car should run better after all this?"
"Oh hell yes. It damned well better."
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