I tried every stapler trick known to man. I tried pressing gently and guiding it. I tried pressing quickly. I tried holding it up. I tried placing it on the desk. I tried smashing it with a hammer fist. I tried gentle persuasion on the desktop. I tried one staple at a time. I tried filling it to capacity. I tried reusing the same holes it had just made until the document itself is a shredded mess. Nothing worked.
I ended up throwing my stapler in the trash. There are hundreds of flattened staples all over my floor. I even went over to the network printer and found a large stapler that is supposedly for stapling large documents (read: 5 or more pieces of paper.) It had staples in it, but it wouldn't staple. It was broken.
I went to another printer and found another stapler that is supposed to handle large documents. It was empty and broken.
I finally dug out some binder clips.
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