Your Zodiac Sign Explained - Capricorn Binsk


Capricorn Binsk – The Canadian Goat

You are a beautiful goat. You eat grass and bash into people. It's sort of like hockey, except for the eating grass part.

You are practical and prudent. You’d like to blow your whole savings on a Corvette or BMW Z3, but instead you keep driving that old Corolla. What is up with that? Get something fun for once in your life. Move out of Canada and go to Miami. Try some funny Cuban drinks and dance like mad. Wake up naked on a yacht with some millionaire after a night of partying. Live before you die.

You are ambitious and disciplined, but you keep getting screwed out of the credit for your work by weasels. You bury your head in your work while the weasel is schmoozing all the upper management people, buying them drinks and smoking their cigarettes. They never even hear your name so when the job is done the weasel just claims to have done it. They don’t know the difference and many times you don’t even realize that it happened. Luckily for you Aquarius is here to tell you, “those fuckers are screwing you.”

You are patient and careful. The weasels will pay, oh yes they will. It will take time and careful planning, but the day will come. You are grouping your shots closer and closer together each week. Soon you’ll be the best shot at the range. You are a ninja. You will strike silently in the night.

You are humorous and reserved. You crack a nasty joke in a public place, leaving your friends laughing until they cry, but you hardly even smile. No one knows how funny you are unless they know you well. You will do the wildest things and not care who sees, but only when you're in the right mood. You speak quietly. When you try to talk to someone that you particularly like they often don't hear you. You think they have rejected you, but they simply didn't hear and didn't know that you were speaking to them. You've got to learn to shout out loud and proud.

All of your friends think you two would be perfect together, and he does like you, but he never hears what you say to him so he thinks you aren't interested.


And there you have it. A specially requested horoscope for Robin Alexa. It must all be true because it fell from the sky and dented the roof of my truck. Either it came from the stars or else the angels committed a misdemeanor.

(All photos property of Robin. I didn't steal them. I only borrowed them. Cut me some slack.)
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