I'm stealing this meme from the very sexy lady blogger, Julie. I hope you don't mind another meme, but it was either this or write a rant about the Boston Marathon bombing and our politicians' love of all things Muslim.
1. On average, how long does it take you to get ready for work/school/a day or night out?
Getting ready for work involves waking up, which I don't do very well. So I stand in the shower for a half hour and just wait for the water spraying into my eyes to eventually wake me up. Then I crawl from the shower to the kitchen to make myself a lunch and then breakfast. Then I sleepily eat breakfast before going back to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shave. Then I crawl to the car to battle the demons of rush hour hell all the way to work. That whole process prior to leaving the house probably takes an hour, on average. It's hard for me to estimate accurately because I'm unconscious throughout.
2. If you could ask your favorite author one question about the book(s) they wrote, what would it be?
Dude, don't you think Francis Ford Copola totally fucked up your story for his movie, or is it just me thinking this?
3. What do you think is the hardest thing about growing up?
Hiding the random erections was always high on the list of difficult things while growing up.
4. Who would you rather switch places with for a day: your favorite celebrity, or your favorite fictional character?
I'd rather switch places with a celebrity because their money, girls and life are real, whereas a fictional character's life ends when the book does. If I switched places with Justin Timberlake then I'd be married to Jessica Biel and waking up next to her every day. Plus I'd be rich. And according to the rules of this meme all I'd have to do in order to have that is claim he was my favorite celebrity.
5. Who would you rather have point out a flaw that you weren’t aware you had: a close personal friend, or a total stranger?
A close personal friend who sees something about you that you need to correct and doesn't tell you may not be much of a friend. A stranger who points out your flaws is what we call a dick.
6. Do you get jealous easily? If so, what sorts of qualities or characteristics in other people are you most likely to be jealous of?
I think the only thing I get jealous of lately is people who have kids who seem to be the perfect kids and they are all so happy and proud of their kids and I have nothing. Beyond that, I really can't think of anything that makes me actually jealous of anyone. I have a friend who drives a Ferrari. I have another friend who is engaged to a woman who looks just like Shania Twain - super hot. I'm not jealous of either one of them. I wish I were as successful in life as they are, but I'm not jealous. I think jealousy is a toxic thing where you'd like to take it from them so they don't have it anymore and you do and I don't feel that way.
7. Which version of yourself would you rather have a conversation with: the one from ten years ago, or the one you turn into ten years from now?
If I talked to the me from ten years ago I'd be the one doing all the talking. I mean, what's he going to tell me? As for the me from ten years from now, I suppose he could warn me that things aren't going to get any better, but who wants to hear that? I'd rather talk to a dead celebrity.
8. Were you ever bullied in any way as a child? If so, how has it shaped you today?
I was targeted by certain bullies as a child simply because I used to have this goofy, happy look on my face all the time, and bullies mistook it for weakness. These days I don't have any problem with that. Most people think I'm pissed off even when I'm not. Apparently my expression has changed.
9. What is one fear you would like to overcome in your lifetime?
I'd like to overcome the fear of failure. It seems to run in my family. Some people just call it a lack of confidence, but I don't know how you define that as a fear exactly unless it is a fear of failure. I see people who just believe in themselves no matter what and step out and do some of the craziest things, but overall life seems to go their way. For people without confidence, with a fear of failure, life goes nowhere for them because they don't take it anywhere.
10. What is one food you haven’t tried yet that you would like to?
Jessica Biel. I'm just saying, I haven't tried it and I hear it's good and tasty.
11. Is it easier to forgive someone for the wrong they’ve done you or to seek forgiveness from someone that you’ve wronged in any way?
I used to forgive way too easily. These days I don't forgive so much at all, mostly because the people who fuck me over never apologize and never ask forgiveness. So at this point I'd have to say that it is easier for me to seek forgiveness than to give it. Not that I'm saying anyone is so quick to forgive me or anything. Lord knows no married man thinks forgiveness is easy to come by.
12. Let’s go random: What did you do for New Year’s Eve for the turn of the millennium?
This giant church on the edge of Memphis was having this huge ceremony where they were unveiling their gigantic 300 foot crosses and we expected fireworks and an actual ceremony. So we went to that instead of down to Beale Street. Talk about a total waste of a millennium, it was a shitfest! They IGNORED midnight and just blah blah blahed right over it as if this was something that happened every fucking day. And the only fireworks were from people off in the distance shooting them in their own backayards.
13. What else around here have you noticed?
Around here? I noticed that I haven't taken the trash out to the curb and the trash men come tomorrow. I forgot to do that last week, too, and our trash can is stuffed full. So I'm going to go do that now.
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