Joe Biden is Retarded and other deep thoughts

I tried to watch the vice presidential debate, I really did. The more I watched the more I found myself convinced that Joe Biden is mildly retarded. He smiles a lot and he loves to point with two fingers, like he's making an imaginary gun and shooting at people. Given Joe Biden's IQ it is entirely possible that he was imagining he was doing exactly that.

I saw an ad for the LMN network and several of its shows and movies. The ad was a series of scenes in which various different angry white women violently sexually assaulted random men no one will ever see in any other movies or programs ever again, which is likely why they ended up doing such demeaning roles in the first place. While watching the barrage of angry feminist misandry I tried to imagine a men's TV network that featured equivalent programming. It would feature nothing but programs in which angry gay men went around violently raping white women and we were supposed to cheer for the rapists. Sure it makes no sense, but that only helped to clarify for me just how completely stupid and offensive the LMN channel truly is.

Christina Applegate is going to be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. I strongly encourage you to watch. She's a riot. Plus, she's smokin' hot.

A friend of mine bought one of those new incredibly tiny iPods. I can't seem to remember what the hell they're called so I'm calling it the iPod Booger. Somehow I can remember that without any problem. I'm actually considering buying one.

A few hard-core left-wing news media personalities have recently begun criticizing Barack Obama. I had to rewind and watch it again several times on YouTube to believe it. After that I started to believe that anything might be possible. Tonight I'm going out after dark and hunting for unicorns.

After seeing the incredibly rapid success of a fellow blogger who began writing and publishing her own books I thought I might try to do the same. But after 10 chapters of Red Riding Hood I realized that writing serious books is hard. So I've decided instead to write a series of children's books about farts. I mean, come on, who knows more about farts than me?

Tomorrow I'm taking my brand new, shiny, unscratched, still-has-that-new-car smell car out in the rain for a 225 mile drive despite the fact that all week long everyone in traffic has been totally nuts. Yeah, that's right, who's the crazy one now, bitches?!

I think I like the NBC show Animal Practice, but only because Joanna Garcia is hot and funny, sort of like Christina Applegate, but younger and partly Latin.

I think half my coworkers are gay, and by that I mean they are just too fucking happy all the time. I don't actually know about their sexual habits, nor do I care.

OK, time for me to go to bed. Have a happy weekend!

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