Who Are You Voting For?

My Mom called me the other night, worried that I might be dead after the tornadoes had ravaged Memphis. She got me right in the middle of eating supper and seemed to want to talk. I sat and watched my food getting colder and colder as she shot the breeze about this and that, never seeming to want to end the conversation. I thought it was sort of odd, as she didn't really have anything in particular to say. To be perfectly honest, she and I don't talk that much. Go figure.

Anyway, she finally got to what I think may have been her real reason for calling, aside from wanting to know if I was dead or alive.

"Who are all these people running for President?" she asked me. "I don't even know anything about most of them."

I patiently went through each candidate from the Democrat and Republican Party, all the while suspicious, because after all, this is My Mom we're talking about.

I have always suspected that My Mom would go and vote for whomever My Dad disliked the most, not knowing anything about anything, but knowing that she enjoyed frustrating the men in the world as much as possible. I never asked her flat out if she was doing this, though, because asking My Mom a direct question is a lot like trying to wrestle with Jello. You just have to watch for her 'tells' in order to pick up the truth from the midst of all her bullshit.

As I went through all the Republican candidates, I could tell that My Mom was trying hard to pretend she was interested, but she really wasn't.

"Ooooh, mmm hmmm," she yawned.

And when I talked about Obama and even threw in John Edwards, it was obvious that she had no idea who they were.

When I talked about Hillary Clinton it was clear that her interest had perked up a bit. Oh, she tried to talk like she knew a thing or two, but it was easy to tell that she had never heard or read anything that Hillary stands for or promises in her campaign speeches. She knew nothing. Except that Hillary is a woman.

All my life I have been beaten over the head and, of course, the crotch by female supremacists with the claim that it is sexist and thus wrong for a male to ever favor another male simply because of sex. In fact, it is claimed to be wrong for anyone to favor males for any reason. And all my life I have watched as those same hypocritical female supremacists blatantly disregarded this rule where females were concerned, openly encouraging and practicing discrimination in favor of females.

My Mom is, of course, no exception.

My Mom knows vitually nothing about the world around her. She has no idea who Barack Obama or John McCain is. She really doesn't know who Hillary Clinton is, despite living in a house once filled with books on politics, many of which included fascinating and relevant details about Hillary Clinton. She doesn't know what tax rate she pays and she doesn't know what her health care is costing her. She doesn't know what a 'carbon footprint' is. She has no clue what is going on in Kenya, Nigeria, Venezuela, or Russia or why it even matters. She's never even hard of the CAFE standard, even though My Dad talked about all of these things around her for years. But she's voting, by God, and she's voting based on her usual priorities, which is, obviously, hating males.

Yes people, My Mom is voting for Hillary.

Oh, she won't admit it. If I asked her she would just lie, which I think is ironically appropriate considering her choice. I haven't told her who I'm voting for. After all, I haven't decided. But if she knew, she'd just say that this was her choice, too. Then she'd go right on with the conversation as if lying to me was of no consequence whatever and all was well. And on election day, despite what she'd said to me, she'll be pushing that button for the only candidate rumored to possess a vagina. And that's really her only criteria. She's not voting based on logic or reason, and she's certainly not voting based on the issues. She's voting for a vagina.

But the sad fact is, for the past many years in this country, that's what most voters have been doing in election after election whenever there is a lone female candidate.

A few days after My Mom's phone call, I got an email from My Oldest Sister. She's been struggling with trying to help Mom out since Dad's death, and she's found it to be rather frustrating and exhausting. Among the many things Oldest Sister had to say, there was this startling revelation:

"I have had to talk to Mom a great deal these past 2 years. I call her a lot because she gets so depressed and lost without Dad. From talking to her, I am starting to think its better not to talk about anything important because she just believes whatever is popular or whatever is "nice" and doesn't cause waves. Reasoning with her is useless. I guess a lot of people are like that though."

Yeah, I guess a lot of people are like that, too.

"Reasoning with her is useless"

So, who are you voting for in this election? Have you decided? Are you willing to say?
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