At 11:30 the plumber had left and we were going to bed. I went to the kitchen to throw my dirty clothes in the laundry. While I was in there I called my voicemail at work to leave myself a reminder, which is still flashing on my machine right now. I think they must have seen the glow of the phone through my window and thought I was calling the cops or something, because not 10 minutes later they were all clearing out in a hurry.
Hey, I wasn't calling the cops. Chill out.
Anyway, you guys asked for photos, so here are a few:
Seriously though, I think they freaked and thought I was calling The Man. So, that kinda sucks.
I heard that Lindsay Lohan was on The Tonight Show last night after getting out of jail. Disney sure has a win streak going with all these Diva's they've produced, haven't they? I mean, who would worry about the fine folks at Disney helping to raise your children when you look at what a fine bunch of ladies they've turned out in the form of Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears and such. All those people complaining about their movies being depraved are just whack!
I swear I had more to say than this, but now I've lost it somehow. My brain has no thumbs, so it keeps dropping shit.
There seems to be a small problem with the shower at our new house. It has a smell rising from the drain. We're starting to suspect that Mr. FixIt installed that shower himself and neglected to put in an P-trap. Yay! Methane from hell. So, looks like I'll be bringing a plumber out before we've even moved all the way in. Soooooo excited.
My truck seems to have developed on exhaust leak. You know how those hotrodded Hondas sound with their turbo mufflers? You know, that farty sound they make when they hit the gas? Yeah, my truck sounds like that, only it isn't supposed to. It isn't happy about it.
Meanwhile, My Wife's car suddenly smells like a garbage truck inside and we don't know why.
OK, we've just gotten this new house and painted and put in carpeting and all that and ALREADY there are 2 neighbors with For Sale signs in their yards. And they are both next to us. One is right next door and the other is directly across the street from him. WTF? I haven't even gone to the mailbox in my underwear or anything. What's the deal?!
I've got John Mayer's "Gravity" stuck in my head. And I need to poop. Somehow this seems to work for me. The two go together well. I don't know why. I'm not going that deep and analyzing it. It just seems right.
Gravity - is working against me - and gravity - wants to bring me down - PLOOP!
I was just reading an article about how nice guys get screwed over at work. I'm thinking, "why didn't you bitches call me for this article? I'm the person you need to be talking to." Mr. Nice Guy I am. And it doesn't pay. Just ask all those software guys over in India who are constantly stealing my job. They are nice guys, too, nicer than me. And they get paid one fourth as much as me for working horrific hours and having to live in India. I think I would require a pay RAISE to live in India. But maybe that's just me?
I tried to access my checking account at on the internet last night. It took 30 minutes to find the damned login screen because My Bank's website sucks SO BAD. And while I was struggling with this nightmare of poor planning I noticed something. They have a zillion photos on their page, supposedly representing customers, and not a single one of them was of a white male. So, wanting to cuss them out anyway for the shitty website, I clicked "Contact us." I wrote them a lovely note about my feelings concerning their complete lack of white male faces, which by the way, you'll also notice if you walk into any of their branches and look around at the flyers and pictures on the walls. But hey, this is America. White males are rare here. It's not discrimination or anything. Everyone knows that 95 percent of Americans are female and 50 percent are black. There are, of course, no Asians whatever and almost no white males left. Mmm hmm.
I've still got that song in my head. I'm tempted to either click it on my computer so I can hear it for real or click something else so I can get it to stop.
If polygamy does become legal in the United States, do you think that would enable me to marry a Canadian, an Australian, and several American women all at once? I'm just wondering. Damn, that's going to be a lot of diamond rings, isn't it? I better start saving my money. To hell with plumbers and methane gas. I've got jewelry to buy!
And now, as you may have expected, I have to go poop.
You have read this article Wednesday
with the title I Wasn't Calling the Cops. You can bookmark this page URL http://thebohemianbunny.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-wasn-calling-cops.html. Thanks!
