I can
remember people calling me and saying, "Dude, guess where I'm calling you from" and they were just in their car.
I can remember when the Mazda RX7 was the COOLEST CAR IN THE WORLD!
I remember when Members Only jackets were new.
I remember when Mtv was brand new and played music videos.
I remember the IROC Camaro.
I remember the Mustang SVO with turbo.
I remember my goofy brother-in-law driving a Chrysler LeBaron convertible with a turbo, which he thought was SO COOL and I thought was SO GAY.
I remember everyone wearing polo shirts with the collar up and blue jeans. Now they're doing it again, as if for the first time.
I remember when everyone got the same haircut, "wings, feathered back."
I remember when Robin Williams was just Mork from Mork and Mindy.
I remember when Nicolas Cage was just some guy in that great move, "Valley Girl" and it was the girl that we thought was going to be a big star.
I remember Molly Ringwald, whom I never thought was pretty, but Hollywood predicted was the new big sex symbol.
I remember Tom Cruise sliding across the floor in his socks and we had no idea who the hell he was.
I remember Farrah Fawcett as "Jill" and Lee Majors as "Steve Austin."
I remember the AMC Gremlin and Pacer.
I remember TV commercials for the Triump TR7, which they said was "the shape of things to come." Somehow this great design has morphed into the Ford Taurus, a car that looks more like a dung beetle than a car.
I remember Suzie Chapstick.
I remember when Bugs Bunny and Friends was on every Saturday morning for an hour and a half. After that there was absolutely nothing on TV.
I remember when the Tampa Bay Bucs wore orange and white and went 1-14 for the season.
I remember the Baltimore Colts, the Oakland Raiders, the Los Angeles Rams, and the Houston Oilers.
I remember Mean Joe Green, Roger Staubach, Terry Bradshaw, and "Snake" in Oakland.
I remember Ray Guy hitting the ceiling in the Astrodome with one of his incredible punts.
I remember when John Madden was coaching.
I remember Tom Landry.
I remember Bear Bryant.
I remember the Iran Hostage Crisis and Jimmy Carter mysteriously confessing to having impure thoughts.
I remember when American cars and trucks were the best in the world and were made of steel and more steel.
I remember my dad's old 1951 Harley, which shook the entire neighborhood when he started it up every Saturday morning at 5 a.m. to go riding all day long.
I remember when every kid in the neighborhood was confused by the "new" peace sign, which is also known as Nero's Cross and came from the West Coast. It was wrong. Everyone knew the real peace sign looked just like the Mercedes symbol.
I remember when girls wanted to learn to play the flute because that was cool.
I remember hula hoops.
I remember klackers.
I remember the Hoppity Hop.
I remember when roller skates had 4 wheels and everybody wore clothes that were shiny and too tight.
I remember Disco Duck.
I remember when Disco finally faded away, and I was glad.
I remember Abba.
I remember Solid Gold.
I remember the Gong Show.
I remember when Volkswagen Bugs and Mustangs were everywhere you looked.
I remember when the people at Ford were clearly on drugs, as every single car they produced was the ugliest thing anyone had ever seen.
I remember when Chrysler went bankrupt, as GM is about to do.
I remember Jimmy Carter's Chrysler tanks which couldn't be run in the desert because they couldn't handle the dust in their air filters.
I remember when having a van was cool and everyone had big murals airbrushed on the outside and glittery shit and shag carpet on the inside.
I remember when almost no one wanted to drive a truck.
I remember when trains had cabooses.
I remember CHiPs, the California cops who had no guns.
I remember Farrah Fawcett chasing down men in a car by riding a skateboard, and even as young as I was I thought that was just the gayest thing in the world.
I remember when heroes on TV would show their karate skills by chopping with a straight hand and shouting "Ya!"
I remember what a lousy martial artist David Carradine was while starring in the show Kung Fu.
I remember Speed Buggy.
I remember Speed Racer.
I remember a new show that come on after Sesame Street called The Electric Company and how excited we were because that show had Spiderman on it.
I remember when the sink in the bathroom seemed so high above my head.
I remember when the rim of the toilet came to my chest and my dad caught me floating my Fisher Price tugboat in there one day.
I remember when girls slapped boys in the face and boys fought with their fists.
I remember when John Lennon was shot.
I vaguely remember when Elvis died.
I remember when we were still in Vietnam and I thought the entire world was just always at war because that's how it seemed on the TV.
I remember thinking I was going to be drafted when we first invaded Iraq over Kuwait.
I remember Chevy Chase, Jane Curtain, John Belushi and Dan Akroyd on Saturday Night Live.
I remember when The Exorcist was first out and my older brother and sisters were scared shitless by it, but I wasn't allowed to watch because I was too young.
I remember my sisters laughing at my older brother for leaping out of his seat when the man's head came rolling out of the boat in the movie Jaws, which they saw in the theater.
I remember when the Soviet Union was the world's biggest threat, and occupied half the East and a good portion of the West, all while calling the U.S. imperialist oppressors.
I remember when My Dad's hair wasn't white.
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