10 Really Random Things Because I'm Sick and Delusional

I've been sicker than hell the past 3 days and mostly laid up in bed or on the couch. This comes just 2 weeks after being sicker than hell already. I think both times its been the flu, but the symptoms have been different. This one is much more painful than the last. I feel like an old man and I can't even lay in bed without pain.

I'm staring at the walls here, but when I close my eyes I drop into weird semi-dreams. I don't know what you'd call them. I'm not entirely asleep, but the images that cross my mind can't possibly be anything other than dreams. It's all memories of the past that twist into funky dreams. And then I wake up again. This has gone on all morning. I'm pretty sure I dreamed I was flirting with Brigitte Bardot. I didn't get anywhere, though.

So in the course of having all these funky dreams, I decided to blog. I don't know if this'll turn into a 10 things about me or what, but that's what I'm going for.

1. In the course of my life, I've asked out 3 beautiful girls named Susan, all within about a year of each other. They all shot me down, 2 by just flat blasting me to pieces right to my face and the third by running away and hiding from me until she felt I was sufficiently discouraged to never ask again. This about sums up my life in a nutshell. Oddly, I am still friends with 2 of the 3 Susans. And to this day I am sure if I were to find myself in a position to ask either of them out again they'd respond the same way as before.

2. You know how they say as you get older your memories get embellished so that they go from "I was a baseball player" to "I was a great baseball player?" Yeah, well I've gone from "I was a baseball player" to "I was a great baseball player" to "I really sucked at baseball." I don't think this is how its supposed to work.

3. I bought the Challenger as an attempt to cheer myself up over how badly things have gone off-course in my life and how few of my dreams ever came to pass. It hasn't worked. On top of that, I'm being hit with a massive tax bill from the IRS as my punishment for trying to pay off the car so quickly. So you can add nearly $10,000 to the total price of the car because the federal government wants a piece of the fun. That's on top of the $4500 I had to pay in local taxes.Yay.

4. I tried to catch a glimpse of the Geminid meteor shower last night. I hadn't had much luck with meteor spotting in the past, and this was looking to be no exception. I saw 2 or 3 brief glimpses. And then, just as I was ready to hang it up, a really big white streak went all the way across the sky. It was huge. That was pretty awesome.

5. I realize that its Christmas-time, but holy hell, my credit card bill is nearly $3000 for this month alone, and that's without carrying over a balance from any previous months!!!

No, I'm going into work. I'll be fine.
6. I keep trying to go into work despite feeling like hell. I don't know how many days off I have left for the year and I plan to be out the entire last week of December. But it hasn't gone well. Today my boss just responded "don't come in. You'll just get sicker." So I guess I'll be here on the couch (or running to the toilet) for the rest of the afternoon, having weird dreams and then trying to blog them before I forget.

Don't forget to flush
7. Speaking of running to the toilet and meteor showers, I could've launched myself into outer space with the force of what has been coming out of my ass all morning today. I don't know where the explosive diarrhea came from. This is new for this bout of flu. But I guess it felt that constant pain, headaches, an ache in my stomach like a bulletwound, and violent chills just weren't good enough. So it added this rocket butt effect just for fun. So excited about that.

8. So I guess this isn't really 10 things about me in the usual sense. I mean, usually its 10 things about me in general, rather than 10 things right this second that are going on or coming out my butt. Sorry, like I said, I'm sick and my brain is on the boil right now. Also, my left eye feels like I've been punched or something. This usually precedes a lovely migraine. Oh why not? Let's run the full gamut before the weekend and get it over with. Maybe I'll use this as a good excuse to break into the Jagermeister. It's a painkiller that requires no prescription.

9. Looking in the mirror I'm thinking the 2 back-to-back bouts of the flu have taken an awful lot of muscle out of me. I look awful. I look sad and deflated. If I ever do get well I need to get back into the gym. I haven't felt motivated to lift weights since returning to Memphis last February. I guess the failure to escape took a lot out of me. It's a wonder I haven't become an alcoholic. Then again, with the bills I'm looking at, I couldn't afford it.

10. I have failed at guitar. I don't know what it is about being in Memphis that sucks all the art right out of me, but I played when I lived in Alabama and just can't seem to pick it up the minute I arrive back here. I haven't drawn or painted since leaving Alabama to move here the first time. I keep trying to write, but that's not going anywhere. I wrote three-quarters of a fairy tale and then just stopped because I hadn't gone where I'd intended. I have a detective novel rolling around in my brain, but each time I try to write up a basic outline of the characters and story I get to the same point and then just stop. I can't seem to move forward. There is something about being in Memphis that just seems to take it all out of me. I don't know what it is, but perhaps a lowly blogger is all I'm ever going to be.

Helen Mirren - Age of Consent
I watched a movie the other day that was filmed almost entirely in Queensland, Australia, back in the 1960s. It was Helen Mirren's first ever movie role. In the extra features they talked to one of the guys who did some of the underwater filming at the Great Barrier Reef there. He said he filmed there all the time in the 1960s because the water was so super clear and everything was so colorful. He said he never films there anymore because it is all cloudy and green now and the corral is bleaching. He said it isn't nearly as beautiful as it once was. That made me sad. I still want to visit Australia and see that for myself, but apparently for every day I don't get down there the view is changing for the worse and I am missing out.

This, of course, got me to thinking about old Australian bloggers I used to know, most of whom don't speak to me anymore. Anyone here remember Fingers or Smack or Shrinking Kitty or Steph? Yeah, none of them have anything to do with me. Steph stopped speaking to me about 6 months ago or so. No real explanation. She was just gone. With Smack I have no idea. Kitty never liked me. And Fingers, I think he was just interested in Steph and when she turned out not to be who we thought then he no longer had any need for me. I don't know. That's a shot in the dark. What do I know? This is the murky shit that floats through my head while I'm sick at home.

So anyway, this is what a flu-inspired blog post looks like. I haven't read back over it and I don't plan to. It is what it is. I hope it isn't pure shit, but it probably is. Feel free to leave whatever comments you like. They don't even have to relate to this post. As random as it is, why should they?
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