Further Adventures of Bustice

Apparently I'm a bad American. I mean, aside from being classified by our cuntvernment as white, male, conservative (compared to Stalin) and heterosexual, I am even more of a bad American by virtue of the fact that I totally blew off President Obama's speech last night. I was busy watching something else. Besides, I've seen enough infomercials for one lifetime and didn't feel the need to watch another. The whistling, hissing, mouth-full-of-marbles way Obama talks drives me insane. If Biden weren't such a total retard, I'd almost rather listen to him. But as he is a retard its best that he keep his mouth shut. Hillary always sounds like she's got a bad cold, or something shoved up her ass, so basically there is no one in this Obama White House who doesn't talk in some annoying manner. As a result, I flipped over to the National Geographic network and watched 3 hours of highly informative programming about drugs and how they affect the users. I think it helped me to better understand our White House, and Washington DC in general, really. Everyone in Washington, according to the programs I saw, is on drugs.



No worries
Smoke too much high quality marijuana and you become paranoid and delusional, believing you can receive secret messages from the American people telling you to invade Libya and cut off our oil supply. You also become highly susceptible to suggestion, such that you'll do whatever the lesbian feminists you surround yourself with tell you to do, and all the while you'll think that their batshit crazy was your very own idea.



I love you, man!
Drop too much ecstasy and your eyes and jaw twitch continuously, like Rahm Emmanuel, while you dance and focus exclusively on a single task, such as preaching about global warming even when all the evidence says it's bullshit, like Al Gore. Facts don't distract you as your brain puts everything it has into dancing to your little tune. You'll dance until you drop, or become mayor of Chicago. You'll also eventually deplete your brain's supply of serotonin, making you feel horrible and nasty, such that you transform from being overly friendly to being an unpleasant person to be around.



I can fucking fly!
Too much cocaine and you deplete your brain's natural supply of dopamine while burning out the receptors for both dopamine and serotonin, so that your brain can't receive it. After too much of this, you end up fried and feeling awful and paranoid, constantly in need of something more just to bring you up to normal again. You seem like a zombie in a perpetual bad mood, like Hillary Clinton or Sonya Sotomayor. Remember Hillary's paranoid delusions of a "vast right-wing conspiracy?" Yeah, that's totally cocaine talking.

I suspect that this depletion of serotonin and dopamine probably explains Speaker of the House, John Boehner, and his perpetual inappropriate crying, too. But I'm so far at a loss to explain those pink ties. Unless its true that the gays have taken over control of the Republican Party, which is entirely possible - even probable.

So enough about that. I didn't watch the speech. There are plenty of people talking about it and I don't feel like I need to repeat what they've said. Besides, I'm a shitty writer, so chances are if I try to repeat what others have written I'll just end up highlighting how inferior my writing skills are compared with everyone else's. Is it "with," or "to?" Compared with everyone else's, or compared to? See, I have no idea.

Game Reviews - E3 2011 - Comedy

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