Boom Boom Boom, Weeho

So, considering the earthquakes, floods, wars, revolutions, earthquakes combined with floods creating iPad shortages, all of which have happened in the first quarter of 2011 alone, I can hardly pretend to have any excitement in my life worth blogging about. Nevertheless, as this is my blog, I have a certain obligation to publish the various random stupidity that comprise the thoughts in my mind in hopes that someone somewhere might find it useful and/or entertaining. So here goes:


Why the hell are we invading Libya? Didn't all the Obama supporters demand that we "stop the war" and get out of every foreign country we were sending our military to? Didn't Joe Biden insist that he was going to make it his top priority to impeach President Bush if we invaded Iran for any reason? And now here we are, without Congressional approval, invading Libya. And no one has the slightest inkling as to why we're there at all. Maybe they have a stash of rare iPad 2s or something?

The Economy

White House representatives, that is to say, the Press, keep repeating over and over that the American economy is in full scale recovery and everything is super duper awesome thanks to Obama. Yet, much like the Republican primaries where no one could figure out who voted for McCain, no one in the real world can find any signs of this mythical 'recovery' that is supposedly happening all around us. Housing sales are the lowest they've ever recorded them as being. House prices have taken a 10-year step backwards in time, much like our 10-year-dead stock market. The death of the housing market means bad things for our economy, not just today, but for the next several years. The claims that unemployment is down are not matched by the reality currently being experienced by 1 out of every 4 American workers, especially the male workers. Obama's war on fuel has driven the cost of gas and home heating through the roof, adding fuel to the fire that is the daily misery of the unemployed, the underemployed, and the underpaid in America. Meanwhile, he claims its not his no-drilling policies, but the oil companies who are to blame because they aren't pulling oil from stones where no oil exists even as he blocks them from pulling oil from the deposits where we know oil does exist. "Hope and change", post-election, has since been shortened to "Denial."

My Life

Fuck my life. I need to sell something, take the money, and go fly to a beach somewhere all by myself to just sit and stare at the waves while I try to decide what I want to do for the remainder of my existence. It's clear that I will never have what I wanted, so perhaps its time I threw off everything and everyone associated with what I had wanted and form a new plan and a new life?

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen gets high, locks a porn star prostitute in a closet, snorts a suitcase full of cocaine, shows up late for work, goes to rehab, has 5 kids with 3 hot women, owns several mansions, has a net worth of $89 million, gets fired from his show, goes bonkers all over the TV and internet, and gets rewarded with offers to do shows on 2 different networks for his trouble. My life, compared to his, can't even be called a life. I live the life of a fruit fly compared to Charlie Sheen's life. I'm dead already in the time it takes Charlie Sheen to find 2 new hot girls to move in with and later sue him for millions per month in child support and alimony, plus a house. He will probably die soon, but on his tombstone they will print the word "WINNING" in big block letters. On my tombstone they will probably misspell my name and get the dates wrong, making it appear that I died before I was born or some such stupidity. And it will be oddly appropriate.

Chickenshit Americans

Americans have been wanting to hear that the sky is falling for as long as I can remember. Bullshit tales of how the world is ending and we're all going to die seem to be the best selling load of shit on TV, in movies, in our headlines and in books and magazines all across the country. It seems that the more comfortable and wealthy Americans are, the more they want to hear that a flaming rock is going to fall from the sky and crush them dead. We have all the oil we need to power our country located within our own borders, yet we refuse to allow anyone to get it. Thus, we have a great need for nuclear power. But we are scared of it because something might happen - what, we don't even know - but just the possibility that anything at all might go wrong paralyzes our country into not using an energy source that countries like France and Russia have been using successfully for years and years. We freak out because Japan has some cracks in a nuclear plant that is old, antiquated and, oh by the way, was hit by a combination of the biggest fucking earthquake anyone can remember and a giant tidal wave that washed entire populations of cities out to sea. Yet still we expect that nothing is supposed to go wrong in any way with a nuclear plant after a disaster like that?! We have entire refineries blowing the fuck up in places like Texas, without even having earthquakes and tsunamis to blame for the disaster, and yet we don't mind this at all. A giant ball of fire is something we can see as it engulfs us and turns us into toast. So we're good with that. But nuclear power is something most Americans don't understand, so they fear it. We fear nuclear power, even though the French are man enough for it, but we don't fear placing our lives in the hands of lunatics like Gadhafy and Chavez, the idiot dictator who just declared that capitalism destroyed life on Mars. When did Americans become this stupid? Was it before or after Oprah?

You have read this article charlie sheen / fml / libya / nuclear power with the title Boom Boom Boom, Weeho. You can bookmark this page URL Thanks!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...