Loonies On The Path XLVI - Asshole of the Month - May

Asshole of the Month : May

One 18-wheeler, a red light, and an old asshole on a long and tiring day. The 18-wheeler stops for the red light. He's in the right-hand lane. Behind him is the old asshole in his minitruck. I'm coming up to the intersection in my 4x4, in the left-hand lane. Just as I approach, the minitruck in the left lane cuts in front of me without so much as a glance or a blinker and rolls forward towards the intersection next to the 18-wheeler and a white van in front of that. I'm now standing on my brakes trying to keep from killing the fucking asshole, skidding flat spots on all 4 of my tires thanks to the old shithead.

When he finally bothers to look in his rearview mirror and sees me skidding behind him, he intentionally stops short, trying even harder to make me hit him. My 4x4 weighs 4600 pounds. His minitruck weights 2800 pounds. I've been rear-ended in a minitruck before. It was the only auto accident in which I have ever been hurt. He and his elderly wife, sitting like a lump next to him, would have spent the rest of their lives using those stupid aluminum 'walkers' to get around if I hadn't managed to skid to a halt in time, no thanks to him.

Then he sat there at the light, glaring at me in his mirror, as if I were the asshole.

Seeing his bloodshot eyes peering at me with seething aggression in his mirror, I did what I always do for these passive/aggressive fuckwits. I took his picture.

Once he saw me taking his photo, suddenly Fuckwit felt like playing nice. He even rediscovered his blinkers and promptly used them after the light turned green to signal to me and the 18-wheeler that he was getting over and out of my way. How very nice of him, eh?

Along with his photo, I also have his license plate number. I'm thinking that in this instance I'm going to go ahead and look up his address so that I might print out an official "Asshole of the Month" award and mail it to him along with his photo. Maybe he'll frame it and hang it over his mantle?

Asshole of the Month: May
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