2007 Poll Results

2007 is over and we have the final tallies for the many useless polls I've conducted. And the winner is ...

I think this blog needs more

blog needs more poll

Winner: photos of hot naked women in general - 9 votes

Melissa Harrington

Yay! I like this result, because I totally agree. You can never have too many hot, naked women in a blog. The more, the merrier and that's for sure. I've even thought about hiring local models to pose for these hot naked photos so I could take them myself and make sure they apply to the blog post I'm using them for. And also just as an excuse to see hot naked women and take their picture.

2nd place: photos of hot naked large breasted brunettes - 6 votes

Angelina Jolie

Right here I know who has been voting in my poll. He's in my blogroll, works for the feds, and he LOVES hot brunettes. He rarely comments, but this poll result tells me he's been here.

3rd place: photos of hot half-naked women who won't trip my employer's porn blocking software - 5 votes

naked girl side

For this I have two words - Victoria's Secret

No votes

Shannon Elizabeth

Stories about Memphis Steve's family, angry rants, political commentary, stories about idiots in traffic - and yet there will be lots and lots more of this because, let's face it, other than photos of naked women, what else am I going to say? I was relieved that no one requested photos of naked men, though. It would have sucked if there had been an overwhelming demand for that.

I think the biggest Skank Ho of 2007 will be

Biggest Skank Ho of 2007

britney spears sans panties
Winner: Britney Spears, sans panties - 65 votes

It was a tough race, but Britney managed to pull it off, what with her little sister jumping in to offer support at the last minute with that whole 16-year-old pregnancy thing. That's true family loyalty, right there. Britney shaving her head during the middle of the year gave her a lead that none of her competition could overtake. And then losing custody of her children and celebrating by getting drunk was a masterful stroke of genius. It's been a truly amazing year for Britney. She wanted this title badly and she gave it her all. She earned this title.

2nd place: Rosie O'Donnell, fatius obnoxious bitchius - 57 votes

I truly did not see this coming. Rosie is a crazy whackjob of a shithead, there's no getting around it, but to nearly win the Skank Ho competition is quite an amazing feat for a bulldyke lesbian who looks more like Lou Costello than any hooker I ever went with. I don't even know who her girlfriends are, so clearly I am out of touch because every lesbian in the entertainment industry is all over the news every day of the week. I guess I should've thrown in Queen Latifah for this poll. Everyone knows the only reason she ever gets hired at all is because she's a fat, no-talent, black, lesbian. Hell, Queen Latifah might've won if I hadn't overlooked her. I just wasn't expecting this.

paris hilton sans panties
3rd place: Paris Hilton, defending Skank Ho queen of 2006 - 53 votes

Holy cow, only third?! For The Paris? No way! I honestly thought Paris would take the title for a second straight year. I guess with all the Lyndsay Lohan and Britney Spears madness, the news of Paris' mighty exploits was diluted somewhat. And then there were Rosie's meltdowns. Still, this is a shock to me. I predict a comeback, though, barring any new and unforeseen entrants from the mighty gay pedophiles and their ho machine at Walt Disney Corporation. Paris may be down, but she's not out.

lyndsay lohan sans panties
4th place: Lyndsay Lohan, rehab diva - 23 votes

I'm shocked to see Lyndsay bumped down to fourth. I guess all that time in rehab took her out of action and out of the spotlight just a bit too much. It just goes to show you, rehab doesn't pay when you're a star. Get drunk and get out there smashing cars and bars so you can get in the news being arrested with no panties on, girlfriend! That's how stars are made.

My personal impression of Mr. Memphis is that he's

Memphis Steve is

Winner: humorous guy who needs psychological help - 51 votes

Yep, true dat. They say all the greatest comedians come from totally screwed up backgrounds. So I must be destined for greatness because Lord knows I come from hell.

2nd place: Who? - 30 votes

I have to ask, what the fuck are you doing here, voting in my poll, if you don't even know who I am or where you are?

3rd place: A macho, macho man - 24 votes

Yes, thank you, everyone who voted for this one. I am the epitomy of manliness, a tower of power, a mountain of muscle, a potential member of the Village People. Or at least, I like to think so. Apparently some of you do, too, and I'm grateful for you.

4th place: A whiney bitch - 23 votes

Apparently I am a macho, macho, whiney bitch because these two were neck and neck all year long. I guess that's like a green beret who complains a lot. Or maybe a typical New Yorker.

5th place: A douchebag - 18 votes

I had to include douchebag. I couldn't help it. Tucker Max is a famous self-proclaimed douchebag and all the women love him. I don't necessarily aspire to be just like Tucker, but I wouldn't mind having all his women. Too bad douchebag didn't place higher, but still, it's good to know that it's in the running.

Well, that's it for my polls. I'll have to create all new ones for this year. I think there'll have to be another race for Biggest Skank Ho of 2008, but other than that I'm not sure what I'll ask. Suggestions will be welcomed.
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