Boondocks
Boondocks is just east of Redneckville, where I currently live. Redneckville is east of Memphis. Snooty Town is between Memphis and Redneckville. So, if we buy a house out in Boondocks it'll put us about 30 minutes to an hour from Memphis, depending on traffic and which way you take.
I've noticed something while looking out in Boondocks. People are much friendlier in Boondocks than they are in Redneckville. In Boondocks, if I wave to some stranger walking down the street, even if that stranger is a woman, they wave back. In Redneckville, they glare at you and stick their noses into the air.
Interestingly, I've never tried to wave at anyone in Snooty Town, but I'm guessing it's some sort of crime to wave at anyone there. They're much too good for that sort of thing in Snooty Town.
Anyway, we've found 2 houses that we like very much, and without looking any further, we're already debating about which one we want. This is a good thing because we've desperately needed to move into a larger house for a long time. We've also needed a better environment where we experience less hostility, too. This looks like a strong possibility in Boondocks. And as a bonus, we can get more than twice as much yard in Boondocks with relative ease. Fences may make good neighbors, but a few acres between houses doesn't hurt, either.
So, if we do move, I'm thinking this will be the time to move my blog, if I don't move it sooner.
I nearly hit large carnivorous birds on two separate occasions on my way in to work this morning. It's Roadkill Season, apparently, and as a result the roads are covered in hungry birds tearing at the freshly exposed flesh now lying flat like a hamburger patty on the asphalt. One of the birds I almost hit didn't take off nearly soon enough upon seeing me hurtling towards him. I had to swerve, and even with that I nearly caught his feet and ass with my windshield.
Paris isn't a morning person
On the radio this morning, I heard them say that Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for some reason or other. I know you all were concerned that I must be slipping because I hadn't mentioned this earlier. The truth is, I am slipping. I'm distracted and a little apathetic. Or maybe, more accurately, just discouraged. I'll believe that Paris is going to do 45 days when that 45th day comes and she is only just then being let out of jail, rather than being let out of her jeweled tracking bracelet which she's worn proudly while shopping in New York City or Beverly Hills. You just know that somehow she's going to get out of this. More than likely what they'll do is make a big show of putting her in, and then when some other story steals the headlines, out she comes again, ready to go shopping.
Believe it or not, I haven't even paid attention to the latest updates on the Mary Winkler quest for diversion. I just assume she'll get it. Killing your preacher-husband is no crime, you know. But calling a lesbian woman a nappy-head or some other such hurtful thing, now THAT is a major crime wave and thank God above that Congress is addressing this epidemic of name-calling against homosexuals that is overwhelming our collective consciences. If ever anyone needed proof that money is power, this is it.
Nothing especially funny happened to me this weekend, or this morning. My truck drove like a possessed Volkswagen Love Bug on the way to work this morning. I don't know if my alignment is way off or the roads are just that bad, but it felt like it was driving itself and searching for raccoons to clobber on both sides of the road as we went along. Or maybe I was just tired. I'm not sure.
Yes, I had a big old poop first thing today. I know everyone is greatly relieved to know this. All is not right with the world unless Memphis Steve has a big old poopy prior to starting the work day. Oddly enough, I don't have these big old morning poopies on the weekends. Does my body somehow know that it's Saturday and thus not manufacture any poo? I am a mystery of medical science!
OK, well, as exciting as this post has been, I guess I'll stop here. If I think of something else I should have said then I may come back and add it. That's the beauty of the blog. You can always add witty things that you think of later and make it appear as if you came up with it just off the cuff.
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