Thanksgiving/Black Friday

Well, happy Thanksgiving, all you pilgrims! Technically this is no longer Thanksgiving even though many of us are still off work today and it feels like it still is. Even so, I'm putting this up as my Thanksgiving post. I didn't have any time to write it earlier.

For those of you referring to today as "Black Friday" I say "shame on you." Don't you know we live in a politically correct world now? This is not "Black Friday" but "African American" Friday, you damn racists! Yes, and to celebrate African-American Friday our Department of Justice has been ordering American banks to give free houses to all African-Americans and even illegal Mexicans, too. Isn't that generous? They've been doing this since back when Clinton, the "first black president", was in office and even though it has single-handedly collapsed our economy they have refused to stop. So all you black Americans and illegal aliens should be celebrating today like no one else because a free house is a huge gift and everyone else in America, and in many ways throughout the world, is paying for it. Drink up, you black bitches, in your free house!

So, Thanksgiving. I'm trying to write about all the things I'm thankful for, but it's hard because I'm in a deep funk. So many of my friends are posting photos of their families on Facebook and it just reminds me that I have no family of my own. By that I mean, I have no kids. It really bothers me. It bothers me more and more each day. And holidays like this just bring it up again, like rebreaking a bone that hasn't ever healed properly. I grew up hearing my father say over and over that kids are God's blessing and Dad had a lot of them. I have none and by my dad's measure that means God doesn't care for me at all. I had already gotten that impression without the kid shortage, but this makes it feel even more true to me. You may not even believe in God, or you may not have kids and not feel the least bit cheated because of it, or you may have kids and wish desperately that you could give them away and run free to the nearest bar or strip club and party like it's 1999 again. I don't know. But this feeling is breaking me apart.

So anyway, I'm thankful that my niece is so blessed. She has a husband and kids and is going to have even more, kids I mean, not husbands, and everything seems to be going well for her. My niece is great and I'm glad that her life is looking so golden. My nephew and her had a rough time when they were younger so it's good that things are much better for both of them now.

Something weird that has nothing to do with thanksgiving or thankfulness at all, but all my life I remember seeing grown men with beards and in high school some of the guys had so much facial hair that they could grow beards if they wanted. I'm part-Cherokee and my facial hair was never much. I didn't mind at all. I  had no interest in a mustache or beard. Even in college I could shave maybe once every 3 days and be good to go. That was fine with me. Years later and I got very sick. While I was sick I didn't shave for a month. I grew a beard and mustache, such as it was, and before I fully recovered and went back to work I took photos of it as I was shaving it off. I mentioned these photos to a woman I know and she asked to see them. After she saw them she said "you look hot in this photo." It was of me with that semi-shaved look. I think they call it designer stubble. Anyway, she said she wanted me to grow that back. So I did. I wore it for awhile and thought nothing of it. Eventually I tried to shave it off, but when I did I thought my face looked funny. So I grew it back. Several times I've tried to shave it off only to find that I now think my normal face that I walked around with beardless for most of my life is funny-looking. Of course, I've gotten lazy and quit trimming the stupid beard every day to keep the designer stubble. Now I have full-fledged scraggly bearded crap on my face. I don't recall any woman ever saying that this was hot. Yet somehow I find myself unable to shave it off. And I still don't like beards. Or mustaches.

So I guess I should be thankful that I can grow a beard if I want to, even though it has some gaps in it due to the Cherokee in my DNA. And I'm thankful I have hair on my head. Some of my friends have thinning hair and I know it bothers them. Well, the ones who are single it bothers. I don't know if the married ones are as concerned.

Speaking of hair, for a year or two the girl who cuts my hair has been parting it on the side. Every time I tell her, I don't part my hair on the side. Every time she parts it on the side again. Finally I decided that since she's a very attractive 20-something female and she seems to be trying to tell me something I would give it a try. I don't like hair parted on the side. I never have. I have never worn it that way. I never wanted to. I tend to associate hair parted on the side with nerds and geeks and Dungeons and Dragons. Yet here I am walking around with a mustache and beard and hair parted on the side and I don't even know who the fuck I am anymore.

I'm thankful that I have hair to part on the side, even if it looks gay.

I am in my hometown right now. I came here for Thanksgiving, to spend it with my family. Aside from my father, everyone in my family is alive and mostly well. Some are more well than others, but none of us are in the hospital on deaths' door. I am thankful that most of my family is here with me and healthy, more or less.

I drove my Dodge Challenger SRT8 to come down here. It was an easy cruise down the interstate to get here. There was lots of traffic and lots of cops, so I didn't exactly hot-foot it, but it was comfortable enough and I enjoyed playing with the satellite radio. I am thankful that I have the money to buy a ridiculously hard-to-find and expensive car.

I also noticed that most music coming through satellite radio sounds like its being broadcast through a tin can. It's shitty. I won't be paying for this. Even the subwoofer in my trunk can't fix the tin can sound of it.

Speaking of the subwoofer in my trunk, I've never had one before. I don't think I like it. It sounds like something is breaking on my car when it booms back there. I don't need that much extra boom, apparently. I never realized how little I needed a subwoofer in my trunk until I paid a fortune for a car that has one. This is ridiculous. How do I turn it off?

I'm thankful we're not at war with Iran yet. I'm thankful we're not in a full-scale war in the middle east involving Russia and China yet. It appears to be coming, but it isn't here yet. It's like the coming economic collapse of the now-totally-socialist West, inevitable. But not here yet. I'm thankful we  haven't collapsed and gone to war yet. Today is a day where we can pretend everything is OK and live our lives oblivious to the government drones flying overhead spying on us for the racist Department of Justice and our militarized local police and just tell ourselves that today everything is sort of OK, even if tomorrow appears to be pretty fucked.

Happy Thanksgiving! Happy African-American Friday!

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