Fatherly Dreams and Life Changes


It seems that whenever I'm under extreme stress or facing some major life-changing event, I have a dream about my father. To say that I'm under stress right now would be an understatement along the lines of saying that Obama is less than truthful in his speeches.

Last night I dreamed that I was back at home, on the street where I grew up. Not only was my father there, but my entire family was there. And so were many of my old neighbors. For some reason, we were mostly all outside. Many of us were carrying junk out of our houses and piling it up in the street to be hauled away. I've been trying to declutter my office at work in order to get better focused on the major project ahead of me so this is probably where this part of the dream came from.

My father was dressed in his ugly old khaki pants with the high waist and belt that he wore, I think, for my entire life. I almost can't picture him wearing anything else. He was also wearing a light blue button down shirt, like many of the guys I work with do. Dad never wore shirts of color. Every shirt he owned prior to retirement was white. Anyway, Dad was wearing the modern professional white man's uniform, khaki pants and light blue button down, and his old black framed glasses. He wasn't all that old, maybe 50, and in excellent health. That's the way I remember him, I guess, since he didn't have any real health problems until he was well into his '70s. Dad was strong like an ox for most of his life.

For some reason, there was another man there that I have never seen before. He was dressed exactly like Dad and spent most of his time standing around in our driveway talking to Dad. I was hauling stuff out the back door of our house and out to the street, throwing it on the curb in a big pile for the trash men to pick up. We actually did this when my dad died, so it was weird to be reliving the experience while Dad stood and supervised.

Across the street, my best friend and his family were outside doing something very similar. I went over to see them and spent some time talking to them. In reality, I haven't seen most of them in several years, but in my dream it was as if we all still lived together on that street and had never left. I was glad to see them again.

Thanks to social websites like Facebook, I have recently reconnected with neighbors from that street whom I haven't seen face-to-face since I was maybe 6 years old or so. One family moved away to California. I'm sure I was no older than 6 when they left. Talking with the only girl in their family on Facebook, I was surprised when she said "if we could get everyone together for a reunion I would gladly fly in from California just to see everyone." I talked to some people who had graduated high school while I was still in elementary school, but who knew me as the younger brother of someone they were close friends with way back in the dark ages. I was surprised that they would talk to me and glad to hear how things were going in their lives. In my mind I pictured them looking exactly as they had the last time I saw them in person, a very long time ago. The neighborhood reunion is a very real possibility.

I don't dream often, or don't remember them, but I always remember the dreams with my father in them. I know they're only dreams, but they have a huge effect on me. It's weird that I can never hear his voice in them, yet don't notice this until after I have awakened and had time to think about it. My dad keeps getting younger in my dreams. Soon we'll be the same age.

And eventually, I'm going to die, and see him again. Hopefully then I'll be able to talk to him and actually hear what he's saying.

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