Who the fuck am I?
Apparently Kate Gosselin is making a lot of noise in the American media these days. Half the people in our media love her and half hate her. The more we see of her, the more people seem to hate her. But her most loyal fans (Barbara Walters) keep hanging on, insisting that she is headline news and should receive the most favorable coverage possible. For me, all I can say is, who the hell is Kate Gosselin and how did she get to be news in the first place? Wasn't she just some woman who had a billion kids with some douchebag who later had a mid-life crisis and took off to see how much sex he could get out of a series of 20-something hotties or something like that? And while he was doing that, she went on Dancing With the Starz, even though she's not actually a star, and proved herself to be both lazy and bitchy at the same time. So I'm thinking this is probably a good lesson for our Media to not waste our time on nobodies whose only notable achievement in life is having a shitload of kids. But who am I to judge? I'm just sayin'
It's the White Man's fault
American liberals are all upset again, as usual, but this time it's because census figures are showing a slight slowing in the number of interracial marriages. They say that this indicates some sort of sinister rise in white people's racism, of course. And then they casually mention the fact that because a lot of the illegal aliens don't bother to ever learn English, this just might have a little something to do with it, too, you know, because we can't fucking talk to each other. But they leap over that to jump straight into the tired old bullshit about "white backlash" and blah blah blah. One thing they did not mention was the fact that marriage overall has been under attack from the Hard Left for a very long time and has declined as a result. Also, what with the economy being in the shitter, this isn't exactly a great time for dating and asking a girl to marry you when you don't even have a damn job. Women love money and thus men without jobs are unlikely to find themselves a date, let alone a woman willing to get married to a jobless man. 80 percent of those thrown out of work by our lovely socialist utopian market plunge are males. This is no accident, as Obama has bragged, and has the side-effect of dousing American marriage with a bucket of ice water. But somehow the Leftists in our media see this as the White Man's fault.
Disney was so good to me
Lindsay Lohan is in the news again. This time its for her fabulous new ankle bracelet. It monitors her blood alcohol level and begins flashing a big red "Party On, Dude" sign in front of her house if any alcohol should be detected in her system. Our esteemed Media considers this to be big news and has enjoyed talking about it endlessly. One thing this ankle bracelet does not do, though, is monitor her for pot, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, or any number of other recreational substances that she might stumble into while sitting around her house with nothing much to do. I'm not sure how our greater thinkers in the News Media have missed this little detail, but somehow they have. So here I am to tell you all about it. You're fucking welcome!
New York Celebrates the Terrorist Attacks of 9/11
Muslims in New York City have asked the Marxists who own the city for permission to build a monument on Ground Zero, where the World Trade Towers were destroyed by Muslim terrorists in 2001. They want to call this monument a "mosque" and fill it with more Muslims who will bow down and shout "Praise Allah for helping us to kill 3,000 American infidels on this very spot" every day, 4 times per day, forever. Well, forever or until some other terrorists crash planes into their mosque and kill a bunch of them, whichever comes first. The New York City Council, made up entirely of Lindsay Lohan and her family, after a brief recess in which large quantities of meth were partaken of, agreed to permit this, calling it "an act of global diversity and tolerance." The surviving family members of the victims of the terrorist attacks have called it something else. They call it "evil" and vow to put a stop to it "by any means necessary." Meanwhile, Muslim project leader Dixie Khan stated "we are simply taking advantage of the suddenly available commercial real estate and intellectual as well as moral bankruptcy of the New York Leftists to obtain for ourselves a good investment. And also, we are going to sucker these idiots into allowing us to build a monument to their deaths on the very spot where we attacked them. It's a little like allowing the Japanese to build a big monument to The Emperor in Pearl Harbor."
Thar's gold in them thar hills!
So, aside from all of this, all the New York billionaires have bought gold and sold their other investments. But, they insist, it is already too late for you to buy gold because it is too expensive now. The oil is still leaking into the Gulf while our federal government, under Obama, does nothing except make speeches and go on vacations to Chicago. The unemployement rate keeps getting worse, thanks to the efforts of our political leaders in Washington who love a good crisis and don't believe in letting it go to waste. The housing market is still super shitty and Congressman Barney Frank and the Congressional Black Caucus are doing everything in their power to make it far, far worse. And the 2011 Mustang GT makes 411 horsepower while still getting 26 mpg, making it a really cool car to own if one should be in the market for a new car or just really sick of life and looking for a fun distraction.
2011 Mustang GT
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