Cunt of the Month - Brendan Frasier

Brendan Fraser

Brendan Fraser was on The Craig Ferguson Show the other night promoting his latest "family movie" entitled "Furry Vengeance"

I had seen several ads for the movie, all carefully selected for their cleanliness and apparent wholesomeness. Ah, a movie about a man who moves to the woods with his family and fights with the animals there. It's a very 'green' movie. What could possibly be nasty about this?

I could tell right away that there was something about this whole thing that stunk when Brendan Fraser came out onstage and sat down. Craig Ferguson leaned away from him, which he doesn't normally do, and let Brendan go on about his movie. Then he showed a clip. In the clip, Brendan Fraser is on the roof of his house standing at the peak with one foot on either side. His feet slip out from under him and he crushes his balls. Then he falls off the roof. Its about as funny as seeing a baby get run over by a car. Even Brendan didn't laugh while watching his own movie clip.

Craig then asked Brendan in a distinctly unenthusiastic tone of voice, "So, is there a lot of that sort of thing in your new family movie?"

Brendan blushed and looked at his feet and said, "yeah, I get attacked between the pockets a lot throughout the movie. A raccoon even bites me there a couple of times."

Craig then asked him, "so you have two sons. Are you going to take them to see this movie?"

Without missing a beat, Brendan Fraser blurted out, "no way." And then he blushed again and developed a distinctly "oh shit, what did I just say" look on his face.

Yeah, see, all this imagery of a man being castrated and sexually assaulted by animals is fine for your kids to watch and laugh at and then imitate, because we all know they imitate this shit when they are constantly encouraged to by movies and television. And that's fine. For YOUR kids. But there's no way in hell Brendan Fraser is going to take his own two sons to see this shit, only to come home and hurt each other like that, and hurt Brendan like that, and possibly get seriously injured because of how unlike the movies real life and real testicles are.

Brendan is the cunt of the month because he knows exactly what he's doing and why it's wrong, but he did it anyway.

Brendan is the cunt of the month because he and others like him are responsible for what is happening all across this country to boys like Jake Arend, who endured 6 agonizing years of daily sexual assaults exactly like the sort that Brendan makes light of in his new "family" movie, which is fine for your family, but not his.

Fifteen years ago, the Boy Scouts of America noticed that the boys in the Scouts were increasingly being sexually abused at school. The Scouts weren't sure what was going on or why, so they hired Dr. David Finkelhor at the University of New Hampshire to research the issue. Dr Finkelhor and his team found that 1 of every 9 boys surveyed between the ages of 10 and 16 had been sexually assaulted in this manner just within the previous 12 month period, with half assaulted by girls and the rest assaulted mostly by older, bigger boys whom they couldn't easily defend themselves against anyway. And most of the victims had been assaulted multiple times, as if being a victim once somehow marked the boys as easy targets and increased their odds of being victimized repeatedly. This finding surprised him and his researchers, but not as much as what else they found.

Dr. Finkelhor

Dr. Finkelhor is an expert on sexual abuse, but has never paid much attention to male victims. Male victims rarely ever talk about the abuse they suffered. But then again, they are rarely ever asked about it. Nevertheless, while talking to the boys, he and his staff followed up their list of questions with routine questions about what, if any psychological consequences the boys had suffered. He asked the boys the same questions asked of girls who have been molested or even violently raped.

And he got the same answers.

Yes, many of the boys suffered from severe and long-lasting depression. Yes, they often had nightmares about the attacks. Yes, they often had flashbacks relating to the assaults, interfering with their concentration at school, in sports, even at home while watching TV. And yes, many of the boys even experienced panic attacks as a result of the abuse they suffered, which movie makers and actors like Brendan Fraser call 'family comedy.'

And no, they had never told their parents or anyone else about what had been done to them. They didn't like talking about it. And anyway, no one had ever asked before.

Dr. Finkelhor published his findings and warned that the results of the study were dramatically worse than even he had expected, despite his vast experience in working with victims of sexual abuse and general abuse. No one had ever studied this particular kind of abuse before. It had always been treated as a non-issue, but it had also never before been such a common occurrence before, all of which changed after the new owners of the Walt Disney Corporation began mandating that at least one scene depicting genital assault of a white male be included in every single movie they produced.


Other movie companies slowly began to follow suit. When the FCC refused to acknowledge that genital assault is indecent, it became a staple of Professional Wrestling, with depictions of muscular women dragging men around the wrestling ring by their balls a new and common feature for the kids to enjoy and imitate.

This was 1995 and things were just getting started when Dr. Finkelhor warned that the glorification of genital assault of males in movies and television must stop or this epidemic would surely grow worse.

Now we're in 2010 and a reporter in Indiana is reporting about young boys being rushed into emergency surgery to remove their ruptured testicles. He's finding that nearly every boy in our schools has been sexually abused. In the last 12 months we've had at least 2 movies featuring men being Tasered in the testicles, which to be fair the police are actually doing in real life since no one will stand up and say that it is indecent as well as sexual torture, with many men left permanently impotent and incontinent as a result, which means no sex or children and adult diapers for the rest of their lives. Ha ha - How funny is that?

And now, not to be outdone, we have Brendan Fraser and all the other cunts who made this movie trying to top a point-blank Taser shot to the testicles with a raccoon biting off a man's balls while his wife and children watch and make funny faces.

And while I'm awarding the Cunt of the Month honor to Mister Fraser, I want to also give a Cunt award to Mr. Ken Jeong, who has the distinction of not only appearing in this "Furry Vengeance" family ball-busting film for kids, but also appearing in a genital torture comedy just a few months ago, "The Hangover", in which he leaped naked from the trunk of a car and ran around with his own balls flopping around, which I'll admit took some serious guts to do. Or a lot of heavy drugs. One or the other.

Ken Jeong
Ken Jeong - showed his balls

Congrats, Mr. Jeong, on appearing in not just one, but two such films in such a short span of time. You truly don't care what you play in, just so long as you get that paycheck.

Fun for the whole family
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