Living in America

The biggest story in the news today here in America is the 'scandal' of one of our finest NFL stars having committed an unforgivable sin.

Larry Johnson

Larry Johnson, star running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, is in deep trouble with the bitches who run the National Femmeball League. He's been suspended from playing for the next 2 weeks, which is as big a blow to the Kansas City Chiefs as it is to Larry himself because they desperately need him. There is talk the NFL wants to suspend him permanently.

So what did Larry do? Did he allegedly spread herpes to some random woman in Miami? No, that's old news.

Did he rape someone? No.

Beat his girlfriend? No.

Kick a clown? Punch a child? Piss on a portrait of Obama?

No, no, no.

Larry said "fag."

Yep, that's it. That's what he did. And now it's all over the news and supposedly a huge scandal. This big, mean, evil, dark-skinned athlete has 'victimized' anyone in America who considers themself to be a 'fag' by using a word that gay guys use to describe each other all the time.

Keep in mind, Larry didn't say "I hate all gay people. They are fags." He wasn't even talking to any gay people, as far as anyone knows. He wasn't even actually talking about gay people. He was expressing intense frustration at the way the Kansas City Chiefs football team is being run and coached. He was making it clear that he did not wish to talk to reporters.

But here in the land of Political Correctness, facts don't matter. All that matters is that he has sinned against the Church of Pride and Corruption and must be punished.

Of course, if he had said "honkies" or "crackers" or "fucking white people" then there would be no scandal. The NFL would surround him with cheerleaders and protest anyone who criticized by declaring that he has a First Amendment right to spew hatred of white people. Just not gays, lesbians, women, blacks, Jews, hispanics, Democrats, muslims, labor unions, atheists, or the current half-black, bastard President.

American C$ar

Meanwhile, Barack Obama's unelected, unaccountable, Marxist "pay czar" has ruled that our greatest minds in finance and banking must not be paid in accordance with their skills, but instead must be punished for being so rich. This is how communists treat the intelligentsia - they destroy them. And along with them, all productivity and progress. This is why they refer to themselves as "progressives." It all makes sense in Opposite World. And this is deemed to be not news.

princess pelosi
American Prince$$

The Communist Party's "health care bill" is certainly news. Its intention of destroying the free market system that has been responsible for the vast majority of advances in medicine over the past 50 years has been made clear and clearly written in, but we mustn't stop long enough to think or even read it. No, we must simply sign it and leap over the cliff before anyone has a chance to ask any questions. This is 'leadership'. This is Marxism. Yay! Oh, and more taxes for all of us because this new cheaper alternative costs a shitload more than the old free-market system.

feminist icon lisa nowack
Crazy Lisa Nowak

NASA is preparing a new rocket to take Americans back to the moon. True, we've already been there, but after 40 years of affirmative action we've found it rather difficult to get back. The biggest obstacle now, aside from the fact that most of the government funding has been sidetracked to feminist organizations and labor unions, is the battle over whether the first astronaut to step onto the moon's surface and make a scripted politically correct remark will be black, female, gay, or all three. No white males need apply for this job.

2 Jewish men were shot in the legs and abdomen by a black man while outside their synagogue in LA. It appears the man was aiming for their groins, like the police do, but missed. Since the shooter isn't a white male he won't be charged with a hate crime. It's just too confusing to try to sort out which privileged group is the more privileged when no one involved is a white male.

I've been sick with some sort of stomach virus all week. Sitting at home flipping channels and sleeping a lot is not my idea of a good time, but it's the time I'm having. Not even Facebook or Twitter can take away the boredom. Actually, I've spent little time on either while sitting at home with nothing to do. Odd, isn't it? I wonder what that means?

I have a female friend who is confusing the hell out of me. About a year ago she asked me to stop associating with a male friend of hers with whom she had had a falling out. She made it clear that should I wish to continue associating with him, she would no longer speak to me or have anything to do with me. Well, I cared far more about her than I did him. I only knew him through her, after all, so I agreed. Now I discover that for the past 3 months they have been friendly again. Nothing has been said to me. I am still prohibited from speaking to him, as far as I am aware.

Here is a quote from a genuine American leader from long ago. I know that at least half of America won't fully understand the meaning behind this, but I am going to put it out there anyway:

"If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed and given medical care. The only thing lacking ... is freedom."
Dwight Eisenhower, 34th U.S. President

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